Do you act like a Lady? Or do you act like a man? (and I don’t mean Gentleman)

If a woman acts like a businessperson, i.e. behaving as though she’s trying to close a deal to her best advantage, she shouldn’t be surprised when the men she interacts with treat her as such, and do the same back to her. This sort of confrontation is, I submit, not a good foundation to beginning a relationship.

A relationship is for mutual benefit, and should be approached in such a fashion by both genders.

These days women speak this way about each other. This worshiping tone has become the norm in a flood of publications and media events - an industry of flattery.
It has created an fake world in which every woman is beautiful, good, courageous, nurturing, and what not; if a character trait comes into fashion suddenly they all have it.
If they notice a shortcoming here and there, they are assured that these pale in comparison to men’s huge deficiencies.
Now all this would just be silly, if it didn’t make it so much harder for women to maintain good friendships and love relationships.

It seems to me, that it has created in many women a dependency on an inner conviction of their own beauty, loveliness and goodness, without which they feel lost. A golden shell, within which she feels safe. A bubble of love.

On the occasions that I have pointed out one of these women’s shortcomings so effectively that she had to see what she had done, I have seen them respond with aggression, with a nasty, taunting sneer, break down in depression or totally close off. Her inner conviction of beauty is shattered and she feels exposed as bad, ugly and unlovable.
One woman knows she is fooling herself, that the self-image of goodness she enjoys is untrue and but now she that feels exposed, she uses this opportunity to enjoy the darkness in herself. She revels for a short moment in her meanness, showing a nasty, amused smile.
Another becomes a dependent baby in desperate need of consideration and encouragement and without a clue of what to do.

A real person would say: you are right - sorry - how can I make it up to you?
A real person would know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and that however lovable or unlovable you may see yourself, the health of your relationship depends on how lovable your partner sees you. So that it is essential to choose a partner, whose perception of your lovableness is restored when you make amends after you have wronged him. (Your willingness to own up to your mistakes may even be part of why he loves you - how’s that for a shocker. )
A real person would know that we all want to do awful things at times, and that we had better take that with a sense of humor.

Some female psychologist stands to make a reputation by writing this book about the addiction to and dependency on an unrealistic self image, created by the industry of flattering. Obviously, a man cannot do it.

lame.

For instance:
“For the last few decades, we have seen women slowly closing the gender gap in education, health and economic power.”
Women are not closing the gender gap in education - they are ahead and continuing to expand their lead with ever more resources being put in female education often at the direct expense of male education.
Women are not closing the gap in health - they are ahead. Women have been outliving men since the early 1900s and with the federal government and every state government having departments and agencies on women’s health but none on men’s health; men will not be catching up anytime soon.
Women are not closing the gap on economic power - they are ahead. Women control about 60% of the wealth in this country. Women spend about 80% of the money spent in the country. Women earn more than men for doing the same job if everything is equalized and more and more laws are being debated to continue giving women an unfair advantage.

Fox seems to have become a haven for feminist rhetoric. As most of the respondents to this thread are men I would suggest you guys write Fox and tell them you will not support them if they continue to spew anti-male garbage like this piece.

I regret that you interpreted my previous comments as being critical of you and your situation. Please, do not do so, for they were not meant to be. I was referring to the quotes in the article and the woman or women described in the article. What struck me was their whinny attitude and the total disregard of the other side of the equation, i.e. the men.

I do not in any way believe that successful women cannot be good wives and mothers and that they cannot find personal fulfillment. I know many who seem to have great lives. My sister-in-law has advanced far in her career and makes more money than her husband does. At the same my sister-in-law selected a mate who was totally secure with himself and their relationship and who would not be threatened by her success. I might also add that my sister-in-law is generous and caring and is a great deal of fun to be around. She is nothing like the woman in the article, yet she would be very successful by Ms. Fullbright’s standards. I also do not believe that every woman must have a man in her life to be happy. I applaud Mary M. and wish her the best.

As a happily, married woman who is still madly in love with her husband after 25 years of marriage, I do know that marriage for both me and my husband has required total commitment and that has involved compromise and at times sacrifice. That does not mean that either of us have not been free to pursue our dreams and things necessary to our personal growth. That also does not mean that either me or my husband have been perfect and have never made mistakes. My husband never asked me to give up anything unless it was somehow detrimental to the welfare of our family as a whole, and in the same respect I haven’t asked that either. I could have made as much or more money than him, but I wanted to stay home and raise my children. This is a choice I made for myself and would never impose it on anyone else. I knew what I wanted early on in life, and I made sure I married a man whose values and goals and priorities in life were similar to mine. I think that is something a person has to do when choosing a potential mate. Try them out in the important things such as attitudes, character, beliefs, etc., before you even think of trying them out in bed.

I think what we all need to remember here is that though trends exist and though we can make some generalities, in the end we are all unique human beings with our unique situations. This woman Ms. Fullbright describes is not really any of us any more than that Betty Crocker picture on the dinner mix boxes is (any one ever notice how unhappy and unpleasant this woman looks compared to the old Betty Crocker faces of old?) That face was redesigned sometime in the 1990’s to reflect the new American woman. In the same way, I believe Ms. Fullbright has perpetuated the same disservice to modern American women. Most of us would not even want to be that woman described in the article.

I would be interested to know if the pre-requisites you demand of your ‘future mate’ and even your family allow you any spontaneity at all. When love strikes you there is no ‘pocket-manual’ to run home to. Probably a trait of your success: you seem to want to micro-manage everything and everyone. Sad, because if you are all those things you say, you have much to offer! Just don’t try to “manage” it…..let it happen!