I’d like to see the study. Sounds like another case of asking the wrong meaningful questions. Having children forces you to “grow up” yourself, so It depends on what question you are asking to determine happiness versus what types of questions the study isn’t asking like perhaps about fulfillment. I seem to recall other studies that indicate that married couples with children live longer than those without children, that is, having something to live for when you start to get older.

Bunk! It would be good to find out what the data was based on, because kids in billions of families throughout history DO MAKE MARRIAGE HAPPIER! Perhaps the people researched for this silly study were too bent on having new cars, bigger homes, and other stuff, that only brings temporary happiness. I’ve known poor people with lots of kids who are happier than people with all the STUFF they want, and no kids.

That thing about the 12-16 years being the worst is the truth!!! Our 13 year old son is driving us nuts.

I don’t aggree with this study. Who did they find monkeys to do this research? As a Christian women I believe that children bring more joy to a marriage. Children are an inheritance from the Lord & if God allowed for children to be born he has a plan & he know what’s best. I have been married almost 15 years & we have a 4 1/2 year old son whom we love & admire. What kind of life would any marriage be without children.

I guess if you do not consider children a blessing and do consider them a burden, then the study would be right. However, if you want children, then there is the difference. My husband and I have been blessed with six children and we are very happy. We don’t have the stuff most of our neighbors have, we make do with less, so that I could be home with the children. We are happy, I could not imagine what child I would not wanted to have.

Kids are the devil !!!

I am married and have 4 beautiful children. I totally disagree with Harvard professor. I think the total opposite is true. Children add more joy and more fulfillment to a marriage!

Having children (we have four) presents huge challenges to the easy bliss of childless marriage. What my wife and I found out is that being a parent changes you profoundly, in good ways - you realize your flaws but you also become far more selfless, caring, giving, and loving that you are without children, because of the demands children make. Having children means giving up your own conveniences, and that is hard. But I would say that the happiness we’ve found through having children, and the positive changes we have had to make in our own character, have been more profound and have enhanced our marriage more than anything we could have experienced without children. We well remember how we realized, at the point when children came into our lives, how we really didn’t “get it” about what really mattered in life before children. No criticism of couples without children, but it is difficult to come to the same place character-wise without children because the demands and stresses of raising children are different from most any other of life’s demands. And the rewards are much greater as well.

This is ridiculous! If mommy and daddy need some time together they should hire a baby sitter and work on their marriage. Marriage is a responsibility as well as having children. It takes a wise couple to balance both accurately. Children are such a blessing from God. When you are old and gray it is nice to see grandkids and to have your children to take care of you in your ailing days.

I question the results of the researcher, and can’t help but wonder about bias coming from one who selfishly pursued his career to a PhD at an expensive school probably at the expense of others. Being hedonistic and self-driven does have its rewards; as does believing in relativistic morality. Children before they go to school are very happy and once they go to school become very unhappy, this doesn’t mean that it’s superior. As a couple married for 10 years prior to giving birth to our children, we wouldn’t say we were less happy and less fulfilled but rather greatly more so. It’s difficult to describe how great of a joy our children are, and for those who want to find solace otherwise by saying it’s the only joy, and that’s why it’s easy to say that (i.e., as stated in the article), lack insight. The problem is measuring happiness on a scale of commenting interviews is not the way to measure true fulfillment in life.

Wow! What a revelation. What’s next? A fully funded study discovering pregnancy causes weight gain?

What a load of garbage. My 5 children do nothing but add to our joy. The thrill of raising children together brings us together, makes our marriage stronger. If someone is unhappy about children, it’s because they’re selfish and immature, or their children have zero discipline and rule the house like tyrants.

Too bad that goofball’s mom and dad didn’t feel the same way. Then we wouldn’t have to be subjected to his pathetic opinions! Notice he included comments about “more sex”, kinda lets you know where his “heart” is. Poor man, wonder if he has any kids! After that comment, would they want to take care of him when he’s old?

Very interesting?!! Aren’t you glad your parents didn’t buy into this crap! Happiness depends on yourself NOT on the amount of diapers you change!

My marriage is exactly as this article described. We’ve been married 22 years. Our children are 13 & 16. And as I say they are a source of great joy & frustration. Our relationship without question deteriorated when they hit the teen years. My 16 yer old daughter is especially hard to take. If your teen is a joy to be around, you should count your blessings. I tell my wife we need to hang in there because the end is in sight. I’m sure we’ll look back much more fondly.

Of course children are a blessing! I love mine (10 and 16 year old boys) more than anything but I can’t wait to be alone and travel with my husband after they “fly the coop”!!

I don’t agree with this study. Who did they have monkeys to do the survey? As a Christian women I believe that children brings joy to any marriage. As the Bible says that children are an inheritance from the Lord. Then so God allowed children for a purpose on this earth & his design why would he allow children to be born. I have been married almost 15 years & we have a 4 1/2 year old son & he has been nothing but joy to us & we love him & admire him. This researcher needs to do another research because this is not true.

Kids make holidays and vacations alive! There is more excitement around the house all the time. There is more extended family togetherness when you have kids. Question: Does this prof have kids?

I imagine the questions go something like this:

Q: “In general, does getting up at 3am make you happy?”
A: “No”

Q: “Do you find yourself getting up at 3am for your child?”
A: “Yes”

Q: “In general, does worrying about other people make you happy?”
A: “No”

Q: “Do you worry about your child?”
A: “Yes”

I’m a brilliant researcher and understand the transitive property, you must be unhappy with kids - let’s publish this!

As a husband, father of five children and grandfather to one, I can only say that children enrich, enhance and are integral to happiness in marriage. My wife and I are in our 31st year of marriage and all I can say is our children have helped us grow, become less selfish, more aware of others needs, provided a source of solace and joy, despite the periodic troubles that come into everyone’s life, in short, allowed us to become more fully human, which in turn allows our growth as a couple.

Like many who reside in the iconic ivory towers of so-called higher education, this “researcher” is out of touch with reality. Having taught at the graudate level for 16 years, and having endured the system as a student and adjunct professor, I feel confident in my assesment.

Hopefully the Harvard professor will take this to heart and not procreate. While children are definitely an often exhausting obligation, they are also a source of unequaled joy.

Another study by a liberal professor at a liberal university in a liberal state telling us not to have children. If he was honest he would have simply admitted he is gay and supports gay marriage.

I disagree. having kids actually makes you grow as a person and as a couple.you really find out who you are and what you are made of when you have kids. sometimes it isn’t pretty, but other times it’s wonderful! I wouldn’t have it any other way!

it’s very sad that someone that should be smart is saying such stupid stuff. kids are a gift,not every can have kids. if you’re going to get married you should want to have kids, and if you don’t
DON’T GET MARRIED!! you can always find better looking guys out there. if someone’s relationship is not strong, yes it could be hard when you have kids. but that’s the biggest reason for getting married,is to work together to build a strong relationship. and when you have kids make sure you still go out together once or twice a week. that’s when you’ll get to talk about things you could to to make things work and strong. when you’ll get older who will take care of you??? NO ONE. and you know what ? you’ll be lucky if anyone even remmebers you

Intelligentsia not so intelligent.

My husband and I have five kids between 13 and 16 years of age. We think we’re losing our minds and have never been unhappier. We chose this for ourselves, and do love them, but we truly do count the days until they’re out of the house.

I have been married almost 5 years and we are expecting our 3rd child. My wife and I dated for 4 years prior to marriage. I can tell you that we wouldn’t be nearly as happy or have as strong of a marriage without those kids. The problem isn’t the kids, it is how the parent’s view the responsibility. Kids are a job yes, but first and foremost, they are a joy and God’s greatest gift to a married couple. As long as you spend enough time with the kids and enjoy them rather than stressing about them and how they aren’t behaving, etc., you will be fine. Also, the work/family balance has to be met. 2 full time career chasers won’t fit into a happy picture with kids. That’s not to say the wife (or husband) has to stay home full time because my wife works part time, but it basically boils down to perspective.

What a crock of hooey. We had children after many years into our marriage and both of us agree that having children has blessed us and made our marriage more meaningful. Before, we enjoyed each other, but now; there’s more to enjoy.

Rigged study… Married people are happier, no question. Expecting a child is exciting, the possibilities are endless. A new born, sleepless nights, dirty diapers, crying without separate cries… I love both my kids (under 2), but remembering being a teenager, I won’t pretend that I’m looking forward to those years… 12-16… old enough to hate parents but too young to drive.

Of course happiness drops RIGHT AFTER THE BIRTH, you have newborn issues and none of the benefits of little kids that starts in 3-6 months.

Hey, at the end of the day, its all about what you value. If you value money and sex, then of course this guy’s theory, that kids are a burden which makes it harder for you to have more money and sex, makes complete sense.

If, however, you value children and family more than money and sex, then this guy is way off.

What this study says is that some people today are selfish. (big surprise?) Its money and sex and enjoying THEMSELVES which makes them happy. THEY want to live a long time. That they don’t want to make the sacrifices that come with raising a child.

Guess what, if that’s how some people feel, then don’t have kids.

My dad always said, “i don’t understand people who sigh relief when their kids graduate high school and move out, to me, if i could do it all over again today, i would do it in a heartbeat, those years were the best of my life”

That doesn’t sound like a person who’s life and happiness went downhill when his kids were born!

If you don’t think kids will bring joy to your life, then don’t have them!

I agree with the professor. I just recently had my first child and he has brought me and my boyfriend each more joy than we ever thought possible. Has it strained our relationship? Of course! But this is new unmarked territory for us both and we were brought up differently and it does force you to grow up immediately. That and the complete lack of sleep and the stress of trying to keep up with housework and our jobs outside of the house. While we may be a bit more stressed, we also enjoy our family time together a lot more than we did before our son was born. Our time together seems more meaningful.

Children CAN lead to unhapiness, IF they’ve been raised incorrectly.
I would vouch for the findings based on current parenting styles. It is time for parents to STEP UP by acting as a unit and getting to church. Everything else will fall into place.

The continual attack on the traditional family unit continues to subvert the foundation of this nation. Dare we assume that our nation is concerned with moral, meaningful and God ordained relationships? If we make this assumption, the male (husband) and the female (wife) in their proper roles must grow in their commitment, compassion, and accountability to each other (and their children) and maintain a teachable spirit. We have developed a mindset in the USA that teaches us to abandon unwanted animals, debts and relationships. Could the respondents have failed to receive relationship building instruction and role modeling from their own developmental family life years and now lack the necessary ingredients to expand their roles? If we are to take responsibility for our choices and conduct, we need to go back to the OLD PATHS that worked for most of pre-1960 America. With record numbers of divorces, abortions, co-habitations, child and spouse abuse cases, family abandonments, prison populations, drug users, and debt junkies, we must admit the new social engineering programs have FAILED! It is time for moms and dads to grow up and take responsibility for their actions and invest their time and resources into building a real family.

It’s all about perspective, isn’t it?

If you view the meaning and purpose of this life as the pursuit of self-gratification, then the study is probably true. The researchers seem to have defined happiness in terms of satisfaction of the senses, immediate carnal pleasures, and the feeding of our lower passions.

In line with the previous comments, however, I would propose that throughout history, mankind has understood the dynamic of human maturation. As we grow from (naturally) egocentric children into balanced adults, we broaden our capacity to engage in reciprocal, self-giving relationships with others. Who would not praise a child who willingly sacrifices his dessert for a friend who forgot to bring lunch to school? Acts of sacrifice like this seem to be categorized by these researchers as capable only of bringing sadness.

As commented above, all it takes is a brief encounter with some of the world’s poorest to see — to be touched by — a truly happy person. Mother Theresa comes to mind. Contrast this mature, fully human happiness with the emptiness apparent in those who have chased temporal pleasures to the detriment of their higher nature, their souls.

I would venture that, ironically, even though the researchers claim children cause unhappiness in married adults, a better conclusion would be that this “unhappiness” is actually the pouting of children posing as married adults who refuse to grow up and learn how to be truly happy in a mutually self-donating marriage.

Peter Kreeft, a philosopher teaching at Boston College, gives a wonderful explanation of this concept of human happiness (the “argument from desire”) in this online audio / podcast: http://peterkreeft.com/audio/08_arguments-for-god.htm

I think your right…….you shouldn’t have been born!

Give me a break, my wife and I have seven children, and are definitely happier than the day we were married. Our children have brought more to our marriage than anything else, but yet we enjoy each other, just as any couple without children would. Children are obviously a huge responsibility, and sacrifice, for any couple, but raising them to be genuine, engaged human beings, is the biggest accomplishment a couple, or any person, for that matter, can attain. It seems to me that the author is stating that we “think” we find joy is having children because they are the “only” focus of our lives, when in reality, we really are not happy, but very sad? I am sorry, but this is quite a perverted view of raising children, my wife, is my single greatest source of joy in my life, I love my children dearly, and consider them a great asset to our marriage, but they are far from the “single greatest source of joy”. A couple chooses how involved they are in their child’s life, it seems to me some parents tend to live through their children, pushing the kids to all ends, which in the long run, seems to make them less happy, and a lot more tired, at the end of the day. The only sadness I get out of my children is when they buy into some “popular” trend, scientific, media or society driven, such as, lets say, “the more kids you have, the sadder you were likely to be”. Happiness is in the eye of the beholder, and the amount of joy in our marriage and child raising will never be proved otherwise from some silly “scientific scrutiny”.

This article may send the wrong message to the reader. Couples who are unprepared for children in their life will be unhappy. The article should focus on the fact that an introduction of a child into a relationship may bring unhappiness initially; however, long term happiness will surely follow if families have realistic expectations and a well planned future.

I think the research is right…..you shouldn’t have been born……

The professor is an idiot & proves how out of touch with the American public far-left Academia really are. Children are a gift from God & marriage is what YOU make of it. Obviously Professor Gilbert is selfish & has forgotten he was once a child himself. I find married couples who have kids, as many as they want, are some of the happiest people I know. The American Left prefer to kill their children through abortion & their opinion should not be taken seriously. Keep having kids folks, they’re really a joy to have & should be cherished.

ok, I see a difference of opinions on how people feel about this study. So, for those of you who have not yet gotten married and started a family (notice how I put the “gotten married” part in there, and FIRST), here’s your challenge:

If you agree with the study wholeheartedly, don’t have kids.

If you don’t agree with the study, you should be good to go.

For those of us who are already married with children, if you agree with the study, you are selfish. I feel sorry for your kids.

If you don’t agree with the study, your fine.

Nuff said.

I’d really be curious to find out how this study was conducted and who was interviewed. From my perspective, married and with children, this study is a complete croc.

Having children does mean that a married couple needs to prepare for changes to their lives and anyone who goes into marriage without figuring out the obvious should probably stay single. If you think being married is about what you can get out of a relationship don’t stray into that territory, even without kids mariage requires sacrifice and selflessness and kids compound those requirements. If the marriage was worth sticking out before the children arrived though than its no problem what’s a little more time to get back into cinq again and figure out how to continue to keep the home fires burning with children now in the family.

When it was just me and my wife I wondered if I could ever split my love for her with a child. When my daughter came I learned that I didn’t split anything, my ability to love grew to encompass my daughter as well as my daughter, and again when my son came along.

It comes down to Self vs. Selfless. If you’re hung up on self you’re setting yourself up for self destruct. If you’re able to practice being selfless (as much as any human can), well the road may be bumpy, but the endgame is well worth the effort.

Just another assault on the family by yet another liberal insecure Harvard employee. If this passes for meaninful research my opinion of Harvard just went down …again!

Mark Twain once said, “There are three kinds of lies. Lies, damn lies, and statistics.” I don’t care what the statistics say. Being married does not automatically make you happier, healthier, wealthier, live longer or have more & better sex - kids or not. I’ve been married some six years, and it’s “none of the above” for me. I’m just as glad we don’t have children. If I’d known then what I know now, I’d never have gotten married.

Our three are 16, 13 and 10. The rigors of teenage children have made my husband and me cling to each other like never before!! I keep telling myself that it’s natural for my 16 year old to be unbearable…it won’t be as hard to say goodbye when he starts college in a year and half!! People tell me he will be a grateful and loving son again when he’s about 25..I’ll let you know!

As an academic, I can say that academia in general is hostile to children and families. This may in some respects influence this researcher’s work. It is particularly bad at Ivy League and large research universities, where professors work long hours to pump out scholarly publications, which doesn’t leave time for personal obligations. A professor who adjusts his or her schedule to spend quality time with family might not be seen as serious enough, which leads to women waiting until very late to have children (until after they have tenure), and to hiding pregnancies, etc. It is a rather political, oppresive, and cut-throat environment in many schools. For many people, it is a 24/7 job that doesn’t allow for much of a life outside. I’m lucky to be at a school now that values families and has even gone out of its way to provide paid family leave, on-campus day care, etc. I don’t know if other professions are like this–law, medicine, etc. There are many publications out there that have studied academic departments and shown a higher-than-usual number of divorced and single/never-been-married professors. In my own graduate school days, there was only one professor in my department who was married to his first wife. Everyone else was either single, divorced, or on wife #3 (often a much younger graduate student). I wouldn’t call this a “liberal” phenomenon as some posters have, it is just the profession. But the overall attitude might be influencing this particular study–the perspective from which it is performed, the questions asked participants, etc. Sometimes these studies say more about the researchers than about the subjects.

We have six kids and today have been married 24 years. My husband and I have never been happier, having gone through all the joys and pains of both marriage and child-rearing. Any questions?

These kinds of conclusions come from the selfish ivy leaguers who are afraid to have children because they think they may grrow up smarter than they are.

It is all because society tells you that you must get married and you must have children to be a normal American. People can’t even tell you why they want to get married and reproduce other then “What else am I supposed to do”.

Then I hear the stupid argument that I am not mature enough, etc. Anyone can reproduce or less they medically unable. Reproducing is showing maturity. I think I show enough maturity not to have multiple kids I don’t want running the earth and at least my college education showed me how to properly use a condom.

Mr Harvard must not have any children. My husband and I only love each other more now. We still see each other as we did when we were dating but now there is another side of him that I love even more. Him being a wonderful father seems to turn me on. We have our second child on the way and couldn’t be happier.

I agree for the most part with the research. I have been happliy married for 5 years, and am very happily child free by choice. I’m not saying that the reason I’m happliy married is because I am child free, but I have the brains to tell me that if I were to have children, my life would change dramatically. This would most certainly lead to some unhappiness. I enjoy my freedom, my husband and I enjoy taking spontaneous trips, going out to dinner, going to the movies on a whim, spending time with our friends, etc…. Having a child would change EVERYTHING. Most people who have lives like ours think that they want children; until they actually have them and reality sets in. No more spontaneous nights of romance, no more long weekend vacations to the beach, no more quiet nights home alone in front of the fire. How could you could be happy by exchanging that life for one filled with crying and screaming, being up all night changing diapers, tantrums, not being able to go out to dinner without planning in advance for a babysitter, and everything else that goes along with children? EVERYTHING in your life revolves around the kids after you have them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with admitting that you are less happy with your life after having kids. That does not make you a bad person. No where in the research did it say that the study says “married people who have children are unhappy and don’t love their kids”

My husband AND children have brought me immense joy. If someone asked me, “Would I do it again?” In a heartbeat! And maybe even have more. The best things in life (I have found) are those that I work hard achieving, and raising children isn’t easy. Some people are meant to be parents and it comes to them quite naturally, while others are not. Isn’t it nice to know we have a choice. My family (both my husband AND my children) are the most important aspect of my life. I am very blessed. This study seems to have stepped on a very large, sensitive nerve.

Of course those of you with kids are going to say you’re happier because of it. Anybody who makes a conscious decision is likely to defend it when somebody questions them.

Everybody I know who doesn’t have kids are happy they don’t. Everybody I know who has kids love them like nothing else. Which group is happier? I’d say those without kids are by far.

What this study should have looked at is how much other people’s kids decrease other people’s happiness when we’re trying to enjoy a quiet dinner or movie in public!

It’s funny how some people still believe the only point to marriage is to breed…nothing good about companionship?

One should ask why the media chose to publish this “study”. Could it be that they are part of an effort to reduce the population? Hmmmm…..

I have 5 children and yes children are a joy, but it is nice when they leave the nest and then my husband and i have had time for ourselves. it is very nice going to dinner and long wekends anytime we get ready. i would do it all over again, but this time in life is probably the most stress free.

I absolutely agree. My youngest of FIVE children is graduating and flying out of the nest and I am embarassed at how overjoyed I am about it. Now MY life begins!

My wife and I have 5 children ages 2-12. I can honestly say I would not change a thing. My wife would even like to have another. Our children have been a blessing. Also, I am a pastor and have dealt with a lot of couples who have struggled to get pregnant. When the wives did finally become pregnant and the couple had a child, they were happier than before. It sounds as though this was the answer the researcher was hoping to get before he did the research.

All we need is another well educated person making an “educated, well researched” statement that our children make our marriages unhappy. We have six children and I can tell you while it’s not all been a bed of roses, our marriage problems have very little to do with them. When a problem did arise, it was usually the fault of one of the adults, not the children. All children need to hear is that their existence makes their parents marriage unhappy. Oh yes, that certainly helps their self-esteem, especially during their teenage years!

If more “parents” would take marriage seriously and realize it is supposed to be a one-time covenant, not a “well if it works out” event or an “if I meet someone else who I l ike better” choice, then it wouldn’t matter how many children you did or didn’t have. The world has decided that you can get out of a marriage about as quick as you get into one. Unfortunately, the baggage that accompanies a divorce is not as quick to resolve itself.

If we are “adults”, we should take the blame of our “unhappy marriages”, on ourselves, get help to work it out, and stop trying to find someone else to blame! Really! When did “educated individuals” become so important in our culture that somehow a statement can replace the responsibility we all should embrace. If you can’t handle the responsibility of marriage, don’t have children! Put the blame where it belongs! The audasity!

I’m not some liberal PhD but after reading the comments on this page I have to disagree with his “research”. I myself have one child and she has done nothing but enrich our lives. I have to agree and give a big thumbs up to “Wolfs” comments!

It is just one’s perspective on marriage and kids, right?

Being the mother of a 4 year old, I have come to realize that parenthood is a great experience that anyone, who can handle the ups and downs of raising a child, should have. Being a parent, you WILL have some good days and you WILL have some bad days but once that little person comes into your life, you can’t imagine what your life would be like without them. I tried…it didn’t work

Does having children put a strain on your marriage? At times, it does. As a mother you have to be able to equally share yourself with your children as well as your spouse which I have found difficult at times because my daughter is the only child and enjoys being the center of my attention. Luckily (or not), my husband is a firefighter so I try to devote at least one day to him when he comes home. I think the most important issue for us is being able to know when we’re reaching an “unhappy” moment and do something about it. For those of you with 20+ years of marriage and children, Congratulations! It helps me to stay focused on what really matters and knowing that though marriage and kids can be difficult, its worth to make it work.

My wife and I just stood in the street and waved good bye to our son, who is driving back to college for his senior year. We miss him already. Our little girl is just finishing a great second year at a major university, and we look forward to her coming home for the summer. There was not a day we didn’t love and enjoy our kids. I wanted one more child, but my wife said no, two is enough, so, we had two. Cannot imagine life without them. Now, what’s the moron’s point? Oh yes, my Dad was a Harvard graduate. I was born in Boston as he was finishing his MBA on the GI Bill. But, that was Harvard, back then. For now, it’s just a school for real smart kids learning to be real smart kids. With professors like this one, no wonder smart kids go through school without learning anything. Oh, dear, I must sound angry. And, I miss my kids.

GOD HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING ON FOXNEWS.COM SO STOP COMING ON HERE AND PROCLAIMING YOUR RELIGIONS PLEASE….ITS ANNOYING AND NOONE REALLY CARES WHAT YOUR RELIGIOUS PREFERENCE IS. THAT ALONG WITH THE FACT THAT WHEN YOU WRITE SOMETHING STUPID IT GIVES OFF THE STEREOTYPE THAT YOUR WHOLE RELIGION IS STUPID. PLEASE KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. THANKS HAVE A NICE DAY.

“Bunk” and “Bull” are the first two words to come to mind with this ’study’. The purpose of marriage IS to have children, not to avoid having them. Unless one is of the mindset of it’s ‘just the two of us’ who are in love, the whole notion of getting married is to procreate.
What one expects in this life — which is not the end-all of living — may very well cause some people to view children as a ‘bother’ or a ‘problem’ rather than an opportunity to witness God’s love, along with the love of a husband and a wife. If it’s material wealth alone (stuff, and more stuff) one desires, children will compete for the almighty dollar which in turn causes a marriage to go into that spiral.
I believe the term for getting married, having children, and growing in love for one another is summed up in the world ‘fulfilled’ in every sense of the word.

Egg Heads they are so smart!!!

It is the parents that make bad kids actually, but also, I think people are totally obsessed with having too many kids that they cant afford monetarily or timewise. They crank them out only to find out they take patience and guidance and lots of love. Just like people who get animals beause they are cute…people have too many kids because they are cute. I think when people have too many and cant provide properly, the parents are being selfish. And the issue with having too many and the older ones become the parents..helping to raise the siblings.
Having children should be based on intelligent planning but if that was the case, we would have about a third of the people in the world!!

I agree with JB 100%1

This is a bunch of crap!!!!

Wow….is this professor off his/her rocker. I’ve never heard such ridiculous talk in all my life (well, except for the current democratic race). Our children have enriched our marriage. They are a gift and I enjoy every moment, good or bad, that I have with them. There will be times in our lives where there is frustration, anger, sadness, etc but those times happen even without having children. Please professor, you obviously didn’t do your research very well and didn’t ask those with fantastic marriages and fantastic children what our opinion is. Our children are talented, beautiful, smart, artistic, athletic, sensitive, creative, loving and giving. Hmmm, who do you think they learned most of those attributes from????? US OF COURSE!! We weren’t sad one bit when we held them, sang to them, loved them, watched them win or lose games, listened as they told us their inner most thoughts on life, love and the pursuit of happiness….and guess what??? Our children want to get married and……that’s right…..have children. SAD??? I don’t think so.

Kids don’t make a bad marriage. Selfish, immature parents make for bad marriages. This study only reinforces the impression many kids ALREADY have that when mom and dad split, it’s THEIR FAULT!! Wrong, Mr. Professor!! It’s NOT the kid’s fault when marriages go south.
I’ve been married for nearly 29 years…to the same woman, mind you. I don’t have the best marriage in the world either. The fault in our marriage being in shambles lies with my wife and I. We never took the time to do things together…to court, even after the wedding. We never cultivated our friendship that we had early on, and we grew apart. We’re strangers, now, and it’s probably not fixable. What I want to know is HOW ON EARTH is that the fault of my children?

This Harvard clown is the best evidence that colleges in America today aren’t teaching our children anything but trash.

So let’s see… many of the respondants with children seem to have the attitude that childless people are less human with a lower level of character, probably selfish and immature, possibly gay, and doomed to unfulfilled lives. In addition, they seem to think not having children means that childless people cannot possibly “understand.” And, of course, all their children are wonderful. I have worked with over 1,500 14 year old children over the years. Very few have been wonderful. Many have been cheaters, liars, fornicators, and substance abusers devoid of responsibility and respect for others. Now I see why. These parents need to shift their focus from their unequaled joy and condescending scorn of those who dare to question their blissful lives to simply doing the job of parenting that they chose. And if parents like Jane pay as much attention to their children as they do their punctuation and spelling, then their children are probably raising themselves.

I agree with this study and it reflects the real world I have seen and witnessed in my life. Children can be a cause of