Dr. Keith: ‘Sex and the City’ Has Real Life Themes
The release of the “Sex and the City: The Movie” has a Trekkie aspect to it — something like the reverence with which fans of “Star Trek” greet each new installment.
As many as 70 percent of women who say they will be seeing the movie will also be attending social gatherings inspired by the release, at which they can debate the series’ best and worst moments, shake their heads at the brashness of the characters and don the fashions made famous by “City” designers, ie. Manolo Blahnik shoes.
The fans will be, by and large, women who have never traveled the orbits of the characters — the storied streets of Manhattan made that much more alluring by the bold sexuality of Carrie and Company.
They don’t swap war stories about one-night stands or joke with one another over dinner about male anatomy or talk openly about what they find most erotic. In fact, the dialogue in the series is so “out-of –this-world” that nearly every woman I’ve asked has admitted she would be appalled if a close friend of hers spoke or acted like she were a “Sex and the City” character.
“I’d have her hospitalized,” one joked.
Sex turns out not to be the reality that drew so many American women to HBO and will draw them to movie screens; just as the fight against Klingon warriors isn’t the core drama of “Star Trek.” Confronting the unknown with courage and principle was the fuel for journeys to galaxies far, far away. And the search for love, not sexual escapades, is the fuel that powered “Sex and the City” to the stratosphere.
The fact that Manhattan, as portrayed in the series, is an alternate universe makes it the perfect backdrop. It isn’t too threatening because it isn’t so close to the homes most Americans know. The fact that the sexual banter is outrageously overboard makes it “unreal” and thus, something to laugh about, rather than be offended or frustrated by.
What’s “real” about “Sex and the City” hits much closer to home:
- Many millions of American women (and men) who have never sipped Frozen Hot Chocolate at Serendipity are indeed searching for true intimacy in their marriages — and in their friendships
- It’s the fact that finding your heart and sharing it takes courage and can take half a lifetime (or longer)
- Real human adventure is the journey toward understanding one another and oneself, while empathizing with our friends and finding the sustaining connections that allow us to build ‘families’ with one another.
As fun as the trip to a fantasy Manhattan can be on the Starship Carrie, the underlying hopes and worries and possibilities that the series speak to are quite real.
And inspiration for the worthy search for love and understanding will be what many viewers take home with them.
Dr. Ablow is a psychiatry correspondent for FOX News Channel. He is the New York Times best-selling author of Living the Truth: Transform Your Life Through the Power of Insight and Honesty. Visit his Web site at www.livingthetruth.com.
Tags: Carrie Bradshaw, Charlotte, Cynthia Nixon, Dr. Keith Ablow, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Manhattan, Manolo Blahniks, Miranda, Samantha, sex, Sex and the City, Star Trek
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Uh…. I don’t find the material from the show (actions of the ladies or discussions they have) too out of the ordinary. I have girlfriends that talk and behave that way; we just don’t live in Manhattan.
I don’t know who he’s been interviewing but SATC has given my friends and I the confidence to be candid about sexuality and intimacy. We do in fact have conversations much like the ones portrayed in the series. Maybe your interviewees are just not honest with you Dr. Albow b/c you’re a man! We do in fact discuss the male anatomy over dinner! LOL!
I am 62 year old woman with close girlfriends of 40 years and when we get together we have always talked about the same things and been in some of the same situations as SATC women have.
I know some women you are talking about, that think that kind of conversation amongst women is not real and is sick, these women are not honest with themselves and are in denial and have so many issues. They turn their heads when there husbands have affairs or throw a fit about their boyfriends or husband when they happen to look at another woman. No wonder men don’t think a woman can run the oval office, bet me, Hillary can and do it with authority.
My husband of 23 years is going with me to see the movie, because he laughed his a– off watching the whole series when I purchased it from Amazon and believe me he is knows exactly who he is married to and loves it.
Dr. Ablow is out of touch. Women DO swap war stories about one-night stands and DO joke with one another over dinner about male anatomy and we DO talk openly about what they find most erotic! Who the hell did he interview?? The dialogue is not “out of this world,” but very true to life. I live in Manhattan and all the REAL women I know talk openly and candidly to their best friends. I have lived in other states in America and women were less open and outward than NYC women. Whoever Dr. Ablow interviewed either was lying or just boring women who aren’t real with themselves or their friends. They definitely aren’t having any fun!! LOL!
What an idiot. I watch the show in reruns on DVD constantly because the dialogue is accurate. HELLO, women really do say those kinds of things. The characters on the show are very true to life and you really ought to just admit as an aging Baby Boomer that you find that reality upsetting and unpleasant.