Furthermore, you couples who play with porn play with fire. Scientific research has shown that viewing pornography can erode satisfaction with one’s spouse, sexually/physically/emotionally, over time.

Call me uptight or whatever, it bothers me not as I have based my convictions on observations made of couples, single men, single women, society in general over a span of 35 years. As well as my spiritual convictions which have protected me from a great many troubles that I’ve seen others get neck-deep in and change their lives in a detrimental way that they can’t go back and fix.

If you, man – woman – couples, choose to participate in porn in any such way, that’s your choice. But just because you think it’s okay doesn’t make it okay.

As for viewers of porn being lumped together with serial killers, rapists, and other criminals and mentally ill folks who started out using porn, don’t think these “baddies” are in the minority. All around us are sexual deviants who keep their secrets hidden in the dark at home. There’s more of you, yes you, than you think there are. You just put yourself on the end of the sex-sicko scale that makes you comfortable so you don’t have to feel guilty or bad about yourself. You may think you don’t have a problem, and maybe you don’t – but as long as you buy the scum off the shelves and order it in nondescript brown wrapping paper for your mailbox – you continue to support the growing network of “baddies” who will be addicted to and possibly act out in society (maybe on your own children!) in a criminal, sexual way.

So even if you aren’t addicted, you are an enabler of those who you don’t know who may have a problem. I just hope they don’t come after your children or your loved ones. If they do, I hope you feel immense guilt and change your convictions.

SO many of you claim to have awesome sex lives because of porn’s presence in your own home, but if you were inclined to have good sex, why do you need the mess? I think it says a lot about your desensitivity to plain, pure sex without the porn. . . or perhaps you just really lack imagination in intimacy? So brag all you want, ladies who give the okay to your husbands, say you have amazing sex – but really, you have no clue what goes on inside the mind of your husband. I s’pose he is respectful enough, sort of anyways, not to tell you how sick he really is and that he doesn’t think you’re all that hot compared to the airbrushed naked bimbo he got aroused by while sitting on the commode in your bathroom. **What a great catch you have married?!?!?!** (sarcasm, indeed)

I must be ultra-naive because I don’t know a single woman or man who has been ultimately happy or secure in a relationship where the other partner went off to topless bars or strip joints with the buds (men or women) or in a relationship where the other partner had that philosophy of “boys will be boys” or loved to sit and devour the trashy novels or other sexualized media.

But if you say you are. . . fine. As for me, I found a wonderful man who doesn’t do these things. Granted, he may have inner battles as we all do – we’re human and my sins/battles aren’t any more golden. But we’re happy together and find satisfaction in respecting one another’s feelings and putting one another first before self.

Some people are under the pretense that it’s “normal” and all men/women look at porn. But I’m here to inform you that there are men and women out there who DON’T go after that sort of thing. Maybe you’ve just accepted your lot in life because you didn’t think you could do better or find better. . .

If you had to advise a child, say your little girl when she grows up and wants to be married, about whether to marry a man who likes a little porn or not, what would you do? Sure, it’s personal, but really, what would you tell her to do? Don’t you think she deserves better?

So many of you missed the mark of this column. You were so affronted by the insinuation that men had the problems instead of seeing that porn can be and is addictive. Geez.

The fact is that this is written by a woman who is operating on a simple personal dislike for porn. This, like alot of other things, is not really relevant to morality or any such clear cut standard. Men sometimes like it, their respective partners sometimes dislike this fact. Why is one preference more acceptable than the other?

It may be cheap, plastic, ultimately unfulfilling, and mostly unnecessary if you have a healthy sexual relationship, but why can’t a man (or woman for that matter) have a satisfying and honest relationship with their partner and still utilize porn? I do.

Can anyone provide justification that doesn’t relate to something about solid Christian morality or otherwise pure personal distaste for the stuff?

1) Most of these warning signs would also accompany an addiction to tv football. They are not sex-specific problems for a relationship.

2) One big difference between watching porn and having an affair is that the porn star is not touching or even paying attention to the watcher. So, the watcher is not getting anything like he/she gets in an affair. So, there is no interested person drawing away the partner, no person to be jealous of.

Porn (from the Greek word ‘Porne” = whore or prostitute) is not the norm. For some it is a distraction, for many it is an obsession. Speaking for myself, the moment I start thinking about the size of a woman’s anatomical features as portrayed in a magazine, web photo, or summer frock on the boardwalk, I have conceived a destructive slope of lust and desire that has only one of two results…. Lust or Trust.

Since I have a pedigree that assures me that I am not a member of the lower order of animals, I choose to flesh out the higher virtue of delayed gratification, proper expression of my sexuality, and the joys of 26 years of marriage. The trust of my wife is more valuable to me than a fantasy life centered on pornography. Anything less than that is wrong. I make no excuses for myself. Period.

I am a married woman. I am 5′8, 135lbs, after two kids and I look great. I don’t get insults from people. My husband enjoys porn, and I know that is not fed by my lack of self pampering. I enjoy porn. And as earlier stated, I live next to Fort Benning as well so there is all sorts of recources to feed our curiosities. We have starship and numberous strips clubs. Just enough to feed the more than normal sexual appetite. But the key thing is, despite this, we love and respect each other and that is what it is all about.

Porn is a fantasy and it is a way to physically view your fantasies. Heck, they got something for everyone. You want geriatric women spanking spanish guys? Look it up online. You want 7 girls on a guy and a sheep ? Go to the internet. You want nurses dress like smurfs chasing diaper wearing biker gangs? Look it up online. I can almost guarantee you will find this stuff, and it’s out there because more than one person has an interest. I mean heck, human sexuality in its own has been a big part of human beings dating back to ancient times. When did it become so wrong to explore that animalistic side?

Us guys want our woman to genuinely WANT us. Porn is fantasy….sure no arguement there, but the fantasy that us men see in porn is a woman that intensely desires a man. Oh the porn star might be a little hottie, but we know she’s nothing but trouble. We just want our wives to want us like that, the worst thing you can do is say, “ok here it is, have your fun”. And we will, but we know that your heart is not in it, so the experience rings hollow for us.

The more interested my wife is in me, the more concerned she is about me and my needs, the less interested I am in porn PERIOD! And, the more I become interested in meeting her needs.

So if you catch your man with porn, don’t freak out, just seduce him back, accept the challenge, how can a computer or a magazine compete with your flesh and blood (and perfume). Don’t fight his biology (you can’t change it anyway) just use it to secure your relationship with him, (BTW he’ll feel stupid about his porn if you approach it this way). And don’t worry if you think you’re chubby or saggy your probably a lot hotter than you realize!!!

Sadie is right, we men are simple, maybe so simple you women are still in disbelieve! Q. “Are they really that simple???” A. “Sorry honey….but…Yes they are.”