FOX Health

Dr. Keith: When Cyberfiction Kills

On Monday, June 16, 49-year-old Lori Drew pled not guilty in Federal Court to one count of conspiracy and three counts of using a computer to inflict emotional distress (violations of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act).

Drew, of Dardenne Prairie, Mo., is accused of creating a phony MySpace account, which convinced her teenaged neighbor Megan Meier that a boy named Josh Evans (who never existed) had fallen in love with her, then suddenly came to despise her. In one message, “Evans” wrote Meier that the world would be better off without her. Brokenhearted, Meier hanged herself.

I met Megan’s mother Tina, a courageous woman who has become a national crusader against cyberbullying.

There is more at stake here, however, even than that noble goal. The Lori Drew case is another wake-up call that proves how our genuine and exquisite human emotions and vulnerabilities can be tapped and twisted by technologies like the Internet, which can “infect” us with toxic fictions that cause real-life injuries, even death.

This is a time when millions of Americans are using social networks to “connect” with one another without really knowing whether the “individuals” on the other side of those connections are speaking the truth and divulging real insights about themselves, or manufacturing “profiles” in order to manipulate and, ultimately, inflict harm on them. We are attaching ourselves to sometimes-contrived life stories that may have no roots in reality, thereby putting vulnerable individuals at the mercy of cyber-imposters who can emotionally assault from an infinite distance.

Too many of us are primed for these toxic and fictional relationships because the Web encourages them. The business plan of the reprehensible Second Life, for example, is to offer people the opportunity to live alternate existences unfettered by the real facts of their lives. 

Webkinz offers children the chance to care for cyberpets that are not real, yet attempt to elicit real emotional connections—like concern for whether the animals are having fun and enjoying their little, animated rooms. This bending of reality is not without consequences. One consequence is that we lose our ability to separate reality from fantasy and become permeable to interpersonal, Internet fraud.

This isn’t the fault of MySpace. It is a byproduct of the times and technology and of less socially responsible sites like the ones I have mentioned above.

One way (I hope) people can fight back, is by participating in communities that put truth-telling front and center as a goal. I’ve created one called Living the Truth. Although that network isn’t immune to manipulators, it is filled with thousands of members dedicated to honesty, and therefore, I hope it will be more likely to filter out imposters.

Here’s the best antidote, especially for our young people: We must tell them that nothing they experience in cyberspace is as trustworthy as what they see with their own eyes, can touch with their own hands and can feel with their own hearts. We must encourage them to speak openly with us—their parents—and with their siblings and their close friends about their true feelings. We should remind them, always, of the wisdom of the body, the value of physical fitness and of inhaling the real air available only in Nature, not on the Web. We should reaffirm our connection to other real, living beings, like our pets and the endangered species we seek to protect from harm.

The Internet can disconnect us from ourselves and make us vulnerable to others who are using wireless technology to float free of the responsibility for their very real anger and violence. We need to close some of the space that now separates us from one another and from reality. We can’t forget to join hands as we join social networks.

Dr. Keith Ablow is a psychiatry correspondent for FOX News Channel and a New York Times bestselling author. His newest book, “Living the Truth: Transform Your Life through the Power of Insight and Honesty” has launched a new self-help movement. Check out Dr. Ablow’s website at livingthetruth.com.

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3 Responses to “Dr. Keith: When Cyberfiction Kills”

Comment by ox

i cant believe this. maybe i not very sensitive. i do feel for the parents of the girl that killed herself. but how can this contry gotten to the point where makeing fun of someone is a crime. if that is the case u can take half my high school to jail for making fun of a kid i knew back then that killed himself. we all go thou it and weather its on the internet or not doesnt make any difference. most of us take the abuse we get when we are young. some of us fight back. but we all learn and grow from it. and there are a few that cant take it and decide suicide is there choice. maybe its the way i was raised but i feel like she took the easy way out. she didnt have the stubburness, the curage to play the game of life. coldheated uall might call me. but if this didnt happen she still might of did what she did from a different incident. this trial should be thrown out. if by anything from freedom of speech. if this girl was so depressed from the comments made to her, she should of shut off her computer and ingored it or fight back.

ox

 
Comment by Robyn

Ox – you should be ashamed of yourself! This case went far beyond “making fun of”. This child was harassed constantly after being lulled into a false sense of security, even told to kill herself. There is nothing right about that! I made fun of kids when I was in school and kids made fun of me, BUT I never advised someone to kill themseves! This entire event WAS PERPETRATED BY AN ADULT TO GET BACK AT A CHILD!! There is no defense for that kind of action. This was deliberate and malicious. This woman belongs in prison – plain and simple. Tis girl was set up from the get go. I hope Lori Drew lives with her entire life and I hope she never has a moments peace with what she did! Her “making fun of Megan Meier” destroyed a young girls entire family for spite and hate. The saddest part is this could of have been avoided.

 
Comment by Josh Resnek

Dr. Ablow is absolutely correct about the Internet’s ability to kill – and the case of what he wrote about on his blog – is was as much a facilitator in the death of this pathetic young woman as a gun shot to the head.
What is most disturbing about the Internet is its ability to cause most users to become addicted to it, with the addiction second only to the misuse by others intending to cause hurt on another human being.
The Internet, in many ways, is like talking to an empty room. What do I mean? True, there are millions upon millions on their computers and surfing, reading, adding information but there is nothing truly human about the Internet except the human energy that went into its invention.
The girl who killed herself would have likely killed herself over some other incident relating to her insecurity and longing for love and to be needed.
She was a girl destined to suffer many tough breaks in this world.
Nothing, however, is more depressing than the adult monster who led her on the Internet to the point where she tied a rope around her neck in her bedroom and hung herself.
I would suggest that this adult woman’s punishment should be for the parents of the girl to place a rope around HER neck in HER bedroom and to watch her hang until she is dead.
Then justice would truly be done – and the Internet would have been the mover for tragedy and then justice.

Julius Caesar

 

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