If there was a conspiracy and the young Russian woman was, in fact, killed, well, that is entirely another matter.

Even then, what Ablow has written remains relevant.

If, in fact, the Russian girl’s death was homicide – well – then it is up to whomever wrote that message to report that to the police as the message writer seemed to imply knowing even more than what she wrote.

Either way, Dr. Ablow’s advice is sage.

Dr. Ablow’s advice is always sage.

Her close friends, current boyfriend, family and those who met her during the last days of her life say she was happy and that she loved her work, and that she loved life. She had made plans for her birthday (July2), and she had made plans to go see her best friend that same evening as it was HER birthday that day.

There was no suicide note. This was a girl who apparently loved and needed to express herself. She was very close to her mother, and partially supported her. She would have left her a letter.

This is a girl who wrote some sad poetic blogs when she was breaking up with someone. How unusual for a 20-year-old girl! I am sure there are TONS of happy blogs on these sites, written by her. Blogs that we will never read, since the sad parts were conveniently singled out for the purpose of rushing to judgment and label it a suicide, despite the fact that the evidence is clearly missing.

If you take blogs written months and weeks earlier out of context you will not have a true and complete picture of this person’s current state of mind. I think the whole thing is pretty outrageous.

The protective netting enclosing her balcony had been very neatly cut along the lines of the balcony. Who bothers to cut a very neat and huge whole, carefully cutting exactly along the lines of the railing, when they intend to kill themselves?

This opening was clearly made either by someone else who had malicious intent, or by someone who wanted to get air and light into her converted studio apartment. There is the clear possibility of an accident. Freak accidents happen every day.

A sloppily cut, smaller hole fits the suicide scenario much better. If she was organized and rational enough to cut that kind of difficult opening she would have written a letter as well. This story just doesn’t add up. Besides, this type of suicide is rarely chosen by women.

There was a rush to judgment. To take a few melancholic blogs on a networking page as evidence of her state of mind on that day is preposterous. All the evidence here seems to point in the opposite direction.

She was generally happy during this period. She had just come home from Paris and had made plans to go to Milan. Her best friend spoke with her the day before, and she says she was happy and loved life, and they talked all the gossip. She was an open and expressive girl. People would have noticed any serious clinical depression.

Her mother will now have to live with the fact that her child’s death is labeled a suicide by lazy authorities and sensationalistic media. They showed a shocking lack of respect for her. They didn’t even wait for the toxicology report. I think the whole thing is a scandal.

Very timely post. I had not heard of the death of Dr. Douglas Meyer. Another very sad example of your points. I agree with the reasons you highlight for why people don’t see what’s happening, or if they do, feel able to intervene.

I would add the point that many of us percieve people who are successful, or rich, or beautiful as somehow different than us, or above having problems. This is tied to the idea a lot of us have that if WE were richer or better looking, then we would be happier, have better relationships.

These tragedies can help us understand that the differences between people are largely superficial, and that none of us are beyond the struggles life brings.

Hopefully, people will take note of your ideas for how to intervene with people who may be having trouble.

Dr. Barry

http://dharmashrink.wordpress.com/