Comments on: Sexpert Q&A: Anaphrodisiacs

By: broken

broken — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 15:04:55 +0000

@Amazed

You assume for is credible in the first place.

By: Mike

Mike — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 05:12:31 +0000

Your question didn’t state how long you have been in the relationship, how quickly attraction turned to sex, what other interests you have in common, or if you are living together. These factors might be very relevant to the advice given.

Religious beliefs aside, think of the challenge given to you by your church as a brief opportunity (an eternity at the time) to evaluate how much of your relationship is based on sex, how much is based on other things, and what those things are. Sex is the lubricant of a good marriage, not the foundation or the cement that holds it together.

By: Amazed

Amazed — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 01:43:43 +0000

Andrew, I totally agree with you. Why is this column still up? I reply in an awesome manner by lifting up the name of Jesus Christ and you guys can’t publish it on here. What gives? This column needs to be removed and replaced with something more credible.

By: BR

BR — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 22:07:04 +0000

Andrew-

We choose whether or not to share our bodies. Our bodies never ‘belong’ to anyone but ourselves.

You dance around the core issue citing faith, but there is no getting around the physiological fact that suppressing biological urges is what is being asked of Neil and his fiancé. We can dress it up in religious euphemisms but the tangible, corporeal fact is that they will be attempting to stem a biological/biochemical urge.

One can choose to dedicate that act of will however one wishes, but if Neil chooses to follow through with the edict then the accomplishment is his. If his faith is such that he feels it honors God to do so, then it is his to offer.

By: Nathaniel

Nathaniel — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 21:12:45 +0000

My wife and Iagreed to abstain from sex for 4 months before we were married. It was very difficult, but was defenitly worth it in the long run. Abstaining for that amount of time made our relationship stronger. We got to know each other better in that amount of time (and the wedding night sex was amazing).

By: bike bubba

bike bubba — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 20:56:16 +0000

The young lady should take her church’s advice seriously. The best way to have sex, and a lot of it, is to reserve it for marriage–and this according to many studies that, AHEM, any “sexpert” ought to be familiar with. Those who do not arrive at the altar with their virginity are at least well counseled to abstain for a time before wedlock to show their respect for God’s plan here.

By: Andrew

Andrew — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 20:45:54 +0000

Its not about suppressing your sexual appetite. Its about listening to what His church is challenging Him on. Its about worshiping God…period. Our bodies do not belong to the other spouse until we are married. I suggest that you look in to honoring God and not trying to suppress the temptations. He will reward your faithfulness if you use this time as worship to Him and obeying Him with abstaining from the desires of the flesh.

You may say this is so hard to do things this way but ask God for His help…He will meet you with only an honest and true heart that wants to seek Him. There will be desires emotional/spiritual in marriage that your wife will never be able to satisfy but God will….He is enough.

you all have a great opportunity here to really shift your entire perspective on satisfying one another and flipping that around to honoring God and having that benefit your marriage for years to come.

By: BR

BR — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 20:32:41 +0000

I love Dr. Fulbright’s response!! But I just wonder what a church that would push the abstinence angle in the first place would think about it. It isn’t natural, or healthy for that matter, for a human to attempt to set aside those urges in the first place. I genuinely doubt whether it has EVER been done 100%…eunichs notwithstanding.

By: Doug in San Francisco

Doug in San Francisco — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 20:24:19 +0000

It sounds as though Neil’s sexual appetite is quite strong and he might “disappear” for for a few days while trying to quench it. Perhaps he should consider non-sexual activities when the urge strikes, such as grabbing a paint brush, cook book, or garden hose. In addition to prettying-up their home prior to their marriage, these activities would allow Neil and his fiancé to spend precious and productive time together. Best wishes for a long and happy life!

By: Bubba

Bubba — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 19:04:59 +0000

Whoa – back-up the Bible Bus a moment: they’ve been sexually active for a while, and the church “challenges” them to “practice abstinence” for two months (and the “advice” is masturbation?). Is it just me, or does this situation reek of hypocrisy? It’s like this guy at work: he lived with his girlfriend for seven years, then got married at city hall a few months ago, had a “honeymoon”, and now is going to have a church wedding. These aren’t churches, they’re social clubs!