Dear Dr. Yvonne,
I like nothing more than a domineering woman in the bedroom. Why is this such a turn-on for me? (Note: I’m not complaining!)
Iain

Dear Iain,
Whether practicing bondage and discipline or S&M (sado-masochism), many individuals and couples thrive off of the power dynamic certain forms of sex play offer. With one partner in charge and the other submissive, acts can involve binding, spanking, pinching, and verbal humiliation, among other activities. Some people like this because they experience sexual gratification from being dominated, from calling the shots, or from inflicting and experiencing pain.

When it comes to your pleasure with your partner(s), it’s likely that you relish the freedom that comes with being told what to do in bed and being rendered powerless. It may also be that you love not taking responsibility for the erotic escape. For many people, being dominated is one way they experience guilt-free sex. By this, I mean that some people who feel negative or apprehensive about being sexually intimate may welcome having someone to “blame” for being “commanded” to engage in sex play.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”