Sexpert Q&A: Picking a Mate
Dear Yvonne,
What do men find sexy in a woman? Is there any statistical evidence — for example, is it something like 20 percent of sexiness is down to looks, 10 percent is a sense of humor and 5 percent is confidence?
—Raegan
We as humans believe that others will have a higher opinion of us if we have a good-looking partner. While it’s harsh, in the dating game, this is more so in the case of a female’s “worth.” People tend to want the pretty or handsome partner because we’re aware of the high value society places on physical attractiveness, and we are motivated by this social concern.
From an evolutionary perspective, good-looking equals “good breeding,” thus humans are motivated to find a mate with good genes. Genetic desirability is most often indicated in the forms of youth, good health, and symmetry. While the weight of different desirability traits vary per survey, men desire a lot of the same qualities in a mate that women do ― smarts, a sense of humor, and personality. They generally like femininity, preferring partners who are younger, of average intelligence, and with longer versus short hair. In general, though, men are a little more lax than ladies when it comes to finding a mate.
Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”
Tags: attractive, breeding, Dr. Yvonne Fulbright, gender, genes, handsome, love, mate, sex, sexy, society
Share
Hmmm…That leaves me asking the inverse question: What do women find attractive in men? It seems that being tall and having a square jaw appears to be part of it, as far as physical attributes are concerned (which, alas, neither of which I have). As far as what men find physically attractive in women, I know this fellow seconds the long hair remark…
“In general, though, men are a little more lax than ladies when it comes to finding a mate.” I’m still trying to understand that one.
hello dr
“In general, though, men are a little more lax than ladies when it comes to finding a mate.” I’m still trying to understand that one.
Lance-
She means that we are less picky about “who we’d do”.
She also says we like women of “average intelligence”…another slam.
Women love to blame their relationship failures on how smart they are.
All a man needs to be happy is access to food, sleep, and sex without drama.
For some reason, there are women with genius level IQs that can’t figure this out. Instead they read books written by women about what men want.
Women: Try saying to your S.O. “Honey, why don’t I make you a sandwich while you take a nap.”
Or reverse the order and add sex. Then tell him what the three things are that you must have. Be clear. He can’t read your freaking mind. And remember…you are a woman. You will never, ever be satisfied. Get over it and stop blaming men.
I disagree completely. Its not about genetics and not to be a pig but its about the feeling. You want someone whos gonna look good feel good smell good. As a guy if a girl is not attractive then im not sexually attraced. if im not sexually attracted then its hard to begin a relationship.
I disagree completely. Its not about genetics and not to be a pig but its about the feeling. You want someone whos gonna look good feel good smell good. As a guy if a girl is not attractive then im not sexually attraced. if im not sexually attracted then its hard to begin a relationship.
Yvonne, I’m back.
Ma’am, my girl is schizophrenic, autistic, bipolar, ADD, OCD, GAO, and Schizoid. Her drug co-pays are $670.00 per month and I pay them as barter for gratification. However, the first time we exchanged affection, she demanded I message her body with a warm, buttery ear of corn. Hence, my question: Is the ear of corn a phallic symbol she uses as a substitute for my privy membe.? Is messaging her body with an ea r of corn worth $670../month?
Tell me the next time you’ll be in Bloomington, In-you know-the AKSRI.