Sexpert Q&A: It’s Just a Little Crush . . . or Not
Dear Yvonne,
As a sophomore in college, I have a serious crush for the first time and I’m not sure if I like or dislike the sensations. What’s happening to me?
— Kaylie
Dear Kaylie,
As you become more infatuated with somebody, a lot of your time and energy goes to focusing on that individual and all of the events – or anything else – associated with that person. A person with a serious crush can seem almost obsessive with what’s called “intrusive thinking” – can’t get you out of my head. Some will feel awkward and nervous around a crush (with physical reactions to boot, for example, your heartbeat picks up), which isn’t always seen as a good thing. Away from a beloved or in processing a negative signal, you can feel depressed, full of despair or even listless. You may even experience “separation anxiety.” Perhaps the most frustrating thing is that one can’t really control these emotions unless they cut themselves off from the source entirely.
At the same time, if your crush experience is turning out to be positive, and your love object is returning your affections, all of the above will become addictive like a drug. So many would say that these things aren’t necessarily bad. Many thrive off of these roller coaster reactions. Either way, know that what you’re experiencing is perfectly normal!
Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”
Tags: addiction, crush, love, nervous, roller coaster, sex, signals, yvonne fulbright
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Kaylie, if you like the person you are having a crush on, talk to them, and just go with the great feelings that come with crushes and everything that follows. Have fun and enjoy life. Best of luck to you.
I just got a crush too, I told them though and got back a “thats good for you” so either they weren’t listening or I just got blown off (I am going for the first one)
Dear Dr. Fulbright:
This is regarding your “How To Be A Dominatrix” column. With all due respect – I don’t feel you took the time to correspond with very many of us before taking the liberty of describing our actions. Much of what you wrote is spot-on as regards the psychological aspects of being a prodomme, but much is woefully limited. Someone reading your article might believe that what you write is true across the board for all prodommes as is most certainly not the fact.
We don’t all work for the public dungeons; those who do tend actually to often make more money than we independents because they don’t have overhead and will provide sexual favors for tips. We don’t run around in lingerie and high heels; personally, anything over a 3″ heel is reserved for seated shoe/boot worship and my clients are well aware that they will never see nor touch me between my knees and shoulders. You don’t mention any of the separate genres – SM, toilet, financial, crossdressing, pony – all of which require very different personal abilities and equipment.
Lastly; your well intended article is about ten years out of date. Most of the well established prodommes I know have retired because our client bases were extinguished along with business travel. There are women looking at this as a quick buck now more than ever, but I’m afraid they’ll have more luck as escorts. I’ve been a prodomme for fifteen years and have never seen business this dismal.
Regards,
Ms. Susanne D’Arcy
All you need to do is look up the definition of “SMITTEN”
Kaylie, You need to go look up the word “SMITTEN” as that explains it all.
Ms Susanne D”arcy: I can see why your business is declining, you are responding to last weeks discussion. To be successful in business you have to address curent events.
Yvonne: Have a good week !
bob
Masturbation good or bad in men and women please help me?
Dear Kian,
If you have ever done that you would know that it can be good.