Comments on: Sexpert Q&A: Getting a Little Too Comfortable?

By: Big V

Big V — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 12:19:29 +0000

I’ve noticed that Yvonne doesn’t seem to like to badmouth her own gender (or anyone for that matter), so I’ll answer JK truthfully.

Yes, your wife no longer cares. This happens all the time. Many women flat-out do not care once they get married. My wife used to dress sexy, act seductive, wear sexy lingerie, etc before we got married. Now, she no longer does any of that or even cares, and we hardly are ever intimate any more.

By: Chris

Chris — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 19:03:17 +0000

Also to “Conerned”:

You’re just silly. I hope you were just trying to be funny, ’cause that was ridiculous.

On the issue:

I couldn’t agree more with “Not Convinced”. Communication is the number one thing in any relationship. I mean, that’s something EVERYONE has heard, and only because it’s so very true. Why are people so intent on jumping the gun and accusing a wife of not respecting their husband enough to stay skinny? It’s that kind of mentality that keeps anorexic supermodels on TV, making sure that the youth “knows” how inadequate they are.

Is an ultimatum really necessary?

By: not impressed

not impressed — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 18:50:24 +0000

In regard to the person who says she prays for you. I too find that some of your articles are totally void of value, but some are. You address things that might help couples improve their relationship. I don’t see a lot of articles encouraging “free love” or anything, but having multiple partners isn’t exactly frowned on either. Sex between a married couple is a wonderful thing and if it can be even more wonderful, that is a good thing. I would agree that Christians don’t talk enough about sex, but the world is so overobssessed with it that is just sickening. It is hard to please everyone. Also, Dr. F. is not a pastor…she isn’t giving spiritual advise, although promoting sex outside of marriage to a Christian IS sin and can be seen as promoting sin, so don’t judge the person who wrote in too quickly- they just don’t want to see sex outside marriage promoted. It does hurt a lot of people – girls get used and then feel terrible or even worse when they have an abortion or give a child away for adoption (which I believe in), or women who get hooked on drugs and use sex to get it, or women who get hooked on the attention of weirdos then flaunt their beauty in topless or nude bars, or women who use sex to just get the fleeting attention of some guy due to psychological problems…and I am not even touching on STDs or how men are hurt. So, understand the reader has good intentions and, if married, isn’t cellibate. I am a practicing Christian…wish I had more space…./

By: Not Convinced

Not Convinced — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 15:11:07 +0000

To Conerned (Concerned???):

You state that the Mission Position is the only one recognized by certain (S)states and I beg you to please inform the commentators on this forum as to which those are, as I cannot find one State that identifies the “Missionary” position in any of their Statutes.

Further, this is the United States where freedom still rings, and that means that we still have the freedom to discuss items of interest in an open forum. And you have the freedom to not visit or contribute if the matter at hand is revolting to you.

To Others:

Generally, people that become “comfortable” with any situation, have a tendency to relax their habits and eating is one of the favorites, in my opinion. I have a similar, but opposite situation where my wife was the “right” size when we were married but she started losing weight through dieting and I finally became a little insistent that she maintain her “proper” weight and forget about the dieting. She took the hint and I wouldn’t trade her in for anything other than what she is. All it takes is concerned communication.

By: Brook

Brook — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 14:53:50 +0000

Sheesh, don’t be so harsh, everyone! This does NOT mean that she does not respect her husband…it only means that she does not know this is a big deal to him. Some people actually love each other for what is INSIDE…and she may not care at all if he were to gain a lot of weight. And to most women, LOVE is a turn on, not appearance. So she just may not be aware of the impact her weight is having.

If she does know that it really bothers him, and continues to gain weight, it is most likely because she is using food as an emotional substitute. Maybe hubby is not fulfilling her needs?

Sex is important in a marriage, of course, but it’s not everything. The most important thing is to be with someone you love and stick with them and help them with their problems. Just leaving to have a “trophy” spouse will not make you a happy person in the end.

By: Wigz

Wigz — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 14:45:14 +0000

To Charles,
Your lack of respect for religion in this matter is just as sophmoric if not even more so then “concerned”’s post. In irony to your first statement “Grow Up” your sterotyping and name-calling makes your sound like an un-educated 6 year-old having a tempertantrum.Although we all agree “concerned”’s brash statment is indeed overly pious and ridiculous This forum is in no need of your immaturity and insensativity to religion in this matter. Next time you proceed to post comments use your intelligence and logic not your emotions because frankly you sound utterly stupid.Pertaining to the religous affiliation to this conversation god created sex as a “gift” to marriage although being 16 I frankly struggle with marital sex in exclusivness to be holy i do believe god created sex and meant it to be the most supreme bond between men and women, not something to be looked down on or shamed.

By: Charles

Charles — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 14:09:04 +0000

To Conerend, or Concerned, GROW UP. Religous crap has no business in sexual problems, or who people see on these problems. First off, look at all the God fearing preachers on TV preaching how Holier than thou they are and taking Stupid peoples money( That would be You! ) and getting into all kinds of sexual exploits. Oh, don’t want to talk about that right, be a good little Christian and it will go away bt praying. NOT!!
Dr.s are trained in diffrent fields of expertise dummy!! What do you want these people to do with these questions? Go to an Ear, Nose & Throat Dr. ? Guess what STUPID!! He’s going to send them to a SEX THERAPIST!!! You think GOD is going to help them? Last I heard anyone saying GOD tpold them something or talked to them was Locked up in a Mental Institution, or a deranged killer! You need to sit back and get a grip on your life, it seems you need help real BAD!! And, if you don’t like what’s on this site, take advice from those above who commented as I have. DON”T CLICK ON IT STUPID!!!!

By: M2Infinity

M2Infinity — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 00:46:13 +0000

@Ben: Committing to someone who does any sort of bait-and-switch on you rarely ends well. If they cannot be honest with you about such a fundamental (and ultimately unavoidable) aspect of their default selves, how can they be expected to be honest about much else? Any sort of committment that is based upon intentional deceit is best ended, the sooner the better.

That being said, Dr. Yvonne’s approach was based on the not-unreasonable assumtion that JK wanted to stay with his partner and find a solution to the problem. With that in mind, she offered a variety of helpful information and advice, though I too felt she should also have explored the obvious option of leaving. It is rather simplistic of you to suggest that lack of respect is the only possible reason for her weight gain. By that logic, if she ever manages to hook up with someone she does respect, she will never be fat again.

@ “Conerned”: That was somewhat funny, in that sad, there-but-for-the-lack-of-even-a-basic-education-go-I sort of way. I noticed your use of ‘We’ in your post. Is this what your congregation does now instead of Prayer Meeting? Prowl the Web trying to root out the pornographers? There is stuff out there that is much more engaging than the idea of a 1-hour orgasm, so keep looking. Happy Reader has your number (liked the comment about sex having been created to perpetuate life. Great!).

@ Brian F.: I’m pretty sure I have enjoyed your posts in other forums. Thanks again, and keep up the good work!

By: Ben

Ben — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 23:44:25 +0000

Dear JK,

Do not listen to Yvonne’s politically correct BS. Your partner gaining weight so fast by overeating only means one thing – she does not respect you. She believes that she does not need to please you now that she’s got you. She’s going to get bigger, fatter and honestly – is that really what you want in your life? I think you know the answer… you need to dump her.

How much do you want to bet that once you dump her she’ll go back to dieting, eating less to lose weight and find herself another man?

By: Mike

Mike — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 22:45:55 +0000

Concerned……

People like you actually exist? I really thought that people who acted like this were only in the movies. I actually accused them of being anti-religious in their portrails of religious people being as ridiculous as you are in real life, guess they were really onto something. Thanks for living up to the stereotype. I imagine you have a good smack coming from the lord when you get there for your refusal to enjoy what he gave you for enjoyment.

Fool