Say what you will.. all of these intimacy limiting activities are asking for trouble.. LOL!!! I’d venture to add that these “limiting” activities qualify as foreplay. Have to be one tough couple..

Am I the only person who finds this woman completely devoid of any moral character? What a legacy to leave behind. She is a glorified Howard Stern.

Emily – You should really come down off your high horse and get l**d.

And Yet, still you read and comment. What does that say about your moral character?// I think this is a good topic, and that there IS more to intimacy than just physical pleasure. I look for Spiritual(not religious), Emotional, Mental, and Physical connection and intimacy. Sometimes not all are satisfied, sometimes they are. Yes, it would take a “tough couple” to pull it off. I was with someone who abstained for “religious” reasons, and we still did some of those things. Its all on a case to case basis, if you can, do it. If you dont think you can do it without risking going farther than you want, dont. I believe it is good to build up before you have sex, jumping straight for dessert, takes emphasis off the main course…

Heather, waiting shouldn’t limit intimacy; it could very well make sex that much more enjoyable on the honeymoon. Kinda like the feelings two new partners get when they have sex for the first time. For me, sex defines the relationship. There are so many feelings that both partners feel before, during, and after sex that, in this day and age, I can’t imagine any relationship, let alone marriage, lasting without pre-marital sex. Dr. Yvonne’s advice can be useful; however, I agree with Bear in that all of these activities would qualify as foreplay – and, from experience, that can get a couple past the point of no return. Bottom line: people get together and, if the chemistry is right, they have sex. Do what is most comfortable for you, but enjoy life regardless.

Morals vary by society, Emily. I’m certain that your own personal actions or opinions, if made public, could be considered immoral to many.

dear emily,

Yes, you are the only person who feels that way. You probably shouldn’t read the articles if they offend you. You only add to the page views, and thus the advertising revenue generated by the article. By reading this you are contributing to it, by not reading you are detracting.

Also, you’re dumb and your morals are puritanical and outdated. If you MUST stick with them, please move to Saudi Arabia.

Emily no your the only one that reads and comments over and over about the same views on nobody should read this. Kinda like going to a satanic ritual every day and saying its bad and no one should be here but your still there and still listening. We all KNOW what YOUR views are now sit down shut up and let some people that have no where else to turn because of just your style of views in society make them wonder in secret. Be a help not a hinderance.

Wow, this statement right here made by Brian could be one of the most twisted things I have read.

“There are so many feelings that both partners feel before, during, and after sex that, in this day and age, I can’t imagine any relationship, let alone marriage, lasting without pre-marital sex.”

You are right that there are lots of feelings involved, that is the very reason that sex was meant to be enjoyed only in marriage between two people who love each and plan to be together for the rest of their lives. Not something you try with different people until you find the one it seems to work out best with. How about entering a relationship where you care for each other enough and respect them so much that you want to wait to till marriage to bring out all the feelings that sex and most of what is listed above will bring out so the two of you have something special to share together for years and years.

At the end of the day, each person makes their own decisions and has to live with those. I for one am getting married in few months to my beautiful fiancee. We have decided to wait and haven’t engaged in any of the above activities except of course some amazing kisses. We both look forward to an amazing wedding night and long thereafter of sharing wonderful experiences in the bedroom. Something sadly today few seem willing to wait for.

What I find interesting, if not maddening is the incredible bashing Emily is taking because she has set a higher moral standard than the rest of us. Shame on those who are so PC that they fail to realize the core of many of our social ills; immorality. 40% of births are now outside of marriage. Shame on all of us.
Although I am weak in the flesh, I respect Emily for standing up for, and pronouncing her strength in morality. A line must be drawn that we should never cross and it is the Emily’s of the world that will hold us accountable. I bet if Emily had come out in favor of homosexual, or even beastality behaviors all of you would be applauding her because that is what is expected of you, not because you have the strength in your TRUE beliefs. I guess the next socially acceptable behavior would be a man with a small child, because as society is now preaching to us, if that is the man’s normal drive why shouldn’t we accept it for what it is, “his normal”. Well, I say, “BS”.
Stop being PC and stand up for what is right, not what you think you are suppose to say.
Keep up your comments Emily.

Jon, how is my view any more twisted than yours? Just because sex is something I happen to enjoy (even though I’m not married), I don’t consider my view twisted…just as I don’t consider your view that waiting till marriage is twisted. As I am most likely more sexually experienced than yourself, I merely provided a comment to Heather’s question, which you didn’t really do. Additionally, I wouldn’t even consider marrying someone I haven’t had sex with, as it helps better define a relationship for both partners – which more than two decades of experience has taught me… Believe me, married life offers challenges that the feelings you will get by waiting till your wedding night won’t be able to handle… Unfortunately, folks of religion seem to like to attack others for having an opinion that goes against their school of thought. In the future, maybe you shouldn’t be so eager to cast the 1st stone… (John 8:7)? Cheers and enjoy life, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

Calling people names is not showing your strength in morality or character. If Emily disagrees with Dr. Fulbright’s advice, then maybe she could elaborate so the rest of us “heathens” could see where she’s coming from. Instead, she resorts to a two line insult that just makes her look close-minded and ignorant. Does she have a problem with Dr. Fulbright’s answer to this particular question or Dr. Fulbright’s column altogether? I’d like to know before toss Emily into the pile with the rest of the prudes.

Whereas Paul clearly and thoroughly explained his position and even though I take issue with some of the things he’s said at least I got to see his perspective. Thank you, Paul, for calling me a lemming. (sarcasm) I do agree with his frustration with the PC fad, but that’s because I’m tired of everyone getting offended about everything to the point that we won’t be able to greet each other on the street without a lawyer. Come on, people, life was so much more fun when we didn’t take ourselves sooooooo seriously.

I pray that God will show you the truth of His love. Stop this madness. Sex is sex and you are twisting things trying to make it okay to do this outercourse. It’s still sex and YOU’RE WRONG.

Why can’t you see this? Why are you so blind? At least remove this column and this person who claims to be a doctor. I’m sorry but she is off on so many ways it’s so so sad. Can someone at Fox contact me and tell me what it will take to remove this column please? Whoever approved this should be counseled.

Emily,

I couldn’t agree more. I also agree with Bear- if you are going to do all these things together that she mentions that aren’t actually intercourse-you aren’t going to make it. And if you are not having sex before marriage for religious or moral reasons, chances are, your morals or religious reasons are going to keep you from masturbating, dry-sex, etc. as well.

Someones beliefs are just that, their beliefs. If two people want to have sex, it is noone elses place to tell them otherwise, regardless of either parties religion etc. It doesnt matter about having kids out of wedlock to some people. It does bother some people. Whatever, its their choice. What is moral to one person isnt to the next. If Someone wants to have premarital sex, that doesnt make them a bad person, whether you think so or not. To them maybe your views are medievil and archaic. Live your life, believe what YOU believe and truly follow it, thats all that can be asked. Dont interfere with others and their beliefs. And F*ck being PC. PC is BS

Emily isn’t the only one. There are many who are rightly choosing to remain pure. The answer to the question posed here is pitiful. Being a virgin isn’t only about not having intercourse. It is about not making relationships about physical pleasure and keeping oneself pure. Oral sex and other forms of sexual play that end in orgasm are no better than having intercourse. If you don’t want to have sex before marriage, be wise and don’t even participate in heavy making out. Many are even saving the first kiss for marriage.
So, no, not everyone is doing it. And kudos to those who aren’t. Sex outside of marriage is a sin regardless of what the majority says or what is popular. Fornicators have no part in the kingdom of God. Time to wise up, people, and learn to restrain yourself.

GOD bless you Emily..Good comment..GOD bless you too Paul..Kip,People like you are bringing our society down..I bet you are one of those idiot liberals..May GOD bless your soul..if you have one

We abstained for 2 years….1st year DIFFICULT…2nd, just numb. Married now for 17 years, 2 kids…best friends….it is wonderful and will teach same to children…SAVE YOURSELF …..

Eagle

Abstained for 2 years…1st year, VERY DIFFICULT….2nd year, just numb but fun getting to know my future wife….married now for 17 years….2 kids….it’s all good…..

I have a question. when did this become about any form of moral obligation? someone asked a question, the question got answered correctly, and that should be the end of it. The question was NOT whether or not it was moral to engage in these activities but if it was possible to not have sex and still enjoy the intimacy that is associated with sex. All you people that are arguing must have missed that, either that or you think it is fine to push your beliefs and standards on other people, which it is not. get a life, or go get some, either way it will calm you down and keep you off these pages.

well if sex outside of marriage is a sin then why did the early catholic church have brothals? morals change in time or location, get over it, we are animals, nothing more. you people that feel the need to force your BELIEFS on everyone else make me sick. Yes it is good to wait, it offers something to your partner that nothing else can match, but it isnt the end of the world if you dont, get over it and get over yourselves.

Where are our “morals” a few on here ask? Why where are yours? Coming from something the “good” book taught ya, or that special on Tv, or maybe what your parents taught ya? Well kinda seems to me that morals is each and owns personal way to feel right from wrong. Some condone teen dating some dont, some like Obama as president some dont, some see a socialist gov as giving everyone an equal “chance” others see it as control..but thats the key aspect CONTROL, whats on tv, whats in the movies, the best selling books, the advice guides, the news, it is all controlled to market something or other. A person labeled a freak is really just part of a minority of society that the majority dont understand. Just because the volume of people in one place think something doesnt make it right. The roman catholics used to have the bishops sell passes to heavan on the church steps (dont belive me look it up) everyone can argue whether this column helps people or gives people lower morals, whether it is sick and dirty or a valuable place for infomation but all in all it doesnt matter. Its just funny that all these religous people have so many values but did have to click the link did have to read the ? and the advice click the comments and add something that detracts from the original topic. To yall keep it up it makes me laugh at the amount of belief in something while going against it at the same time with just “beating” down on your fellow man. Prouder to be a freak than fake.

Doc is not here to force her morals on anyone, wish the same could be said about all you “Holier-than-thou” types who think you are better than everyone else. Too bad none of you has any proof as to being better than those who believe different than you.

People must be aware that unsafe sex can cause various Sexually Transmitted Diseases including Gonorrhea.

Find all about Gonorrhea information and treatment on my blog

Speaking for the moral/religious side of things:

If you/your partner wish to abstain for moral or reilgious reasons, most of what Dr. Fulbright mentioned would still be immoral or against your religion.

I am not trying to assume what religion you are, but the Catholic Church has a very active group called the Couple to Couple’s league that produces Natural Family Planning Literature that includes brochures entitled “Creative Abstinence.”

This type of literature encourages activities that take you out of the bedroom for romantic nights on the town or picnics in the park, etc. These types of activities allow you to focus on the intimate side of getting to know each other at a deeper level.

I truly believe that you can be intimate with another person without touching. Getting to know someone better than you know anyone else can be quite a turn on, especially when you finally do get married and have the rest of your life to figure out what turns them on between the sheets.

My advice, take it slow at the beginning. You can always go faster, but once you have crossed a certain point, you can never go back.