Another issue related to care giving is that studies have shown that care giving can put a lot of stress on the caregiver that can actually shorten the caregiver’s life. You can tend to put your own life on hold, just doing what has to be done until you are totally worn out without maybe even totally realizing how it is affecting you. I know I partly did but didn’t realize how worn down I was until I was no longer the primary caregiver.

But I also know of 2 cases where one person was caring for another terminally ill person and then it was discovered the caregiver had cancer but it was likely advanced by the time found and the caregiver ended up dying not long after the original caregiver.

And I know that you can only do so much, so there were times that I ignored symptoms I was having because I needed to be taking my Dad to one or more drs appts. And some time amidst all the other things he had a stroke or series of them that was later discovered by a catscan. And it had been overlooked. We don’t even know when it happened. You can just get so tired that you overlook stuff. And that could happen with either caring for a cancer patient or an autistic child. With both the likelihood of wearing out and not being able to cope greatly increased.

I talked to a dr friend how much training they get in med school on dealing with caregivers. Not much. THAT NEEDS TO CHANGE. It has been studied. Apply the theory so caregivers are supported.

I’ve read about how your dr is supposed to be your partner in treatment but the reality is often something different. What did the dr’s do to determine whether the mother understood and was capable of carrying out what was needed? She faces charges, but where were they when she missed the appts?

Some care providers may be very insensitive to the needs and challenges of their patients. Several yrs ago I was going away for a few days and my niece was coming to care for her grandfather during that time. So I took him in to the dr’s on Fri before I left on Wed, to get checked before hand to avoid her having to deal with stuff that could have been prevented.

I forgot at first to ask that he be checked for a UTI. But I did before I left, thinking they could just give him a cup for a sample. No, he has something different, at the lab for male patients. Turns out it was a 24 hr test which would not have given results before I left and would have been virtually impossible for him to do with his incontinence without a catheter. So he ignored the whole purpose of the visit which was to make sure he didn’t have anything pressing until I got back–not do some other stuff that could wait and wouldn’t work anyway. And required a trip to the lab.