Kip: ‘Tis very true! If you spend too much time together one or both lovers will tire of each other. I don’t think it’s selfish to want (or have) activities separate from your significant other, rather, I think it makes sense. One of my past girlfriends was like “white on rice” when it came to us being together. She wanted to do everything together, even to the point of not including friends, or even family, for some activities where it may have been fun (wine tasting). She got resentful or even jealous when I suggested we both do some things separately (for instance, I’m a golfer…not really a good one…but she hated it). She then attempted to control my activities. I put her to the curb. Gents (and ladies) have a life other than your life together. If you are in a controlling relationship, get out. Your life will be better for it.

Recently I terminated my relationship with a lady simply because she unknowingly tried to take control of our sex activities. She wanted to have sex every nite!! It was like going to work every day of the week. She wanted to do everything togetther and I was suffocating. I wanted time on my own and she would say “I don’t love her enough to do things together”
Anyway after three months she’s no longer with me.
Your partner MUST remember every person need short moments away you/time out which in fact recharge/rekindle your “wanting” of her/him when you come together.

There are three lives in the apt/home – his, her’s and their’s. Each life needs nurturing and each needs attention. We are (physiacally and emotionally) separate people who converge – at times – to do things together and at times to do things separately. It’s imature and stifling to be attached 24/7 to the other one. Dependecy is parasitic and destroys. A lasting relationship requires two mature independent individuals, who bring their own individual experiences to the table – to share and to prosper.

My second marriage of 35 years before cancer took my wife was spectacular because of 24/7. I was an environmental engineer and loved my work. My wife asked me to quit my life’s work and join her in the interior design industry. I agreed and embarked on a splendid twenty seven year journey traveling around the world and doing everything together. We lived in the mountains and lived aboard a yacht for six years. The one thing and the most important is to dump the EGO. Ego destroys more relationships than money. Without ego everything is possible including a magnificient sex life. Add respect kindness and compassionate love and you will find a relationship beyond your wildest dreams. My wife’s cancer doctor wrote the forward to my book and a part of her message was in regard to our personal relationship …”a level of intimacy that most couples cannot even fathom”…. This was a most beautiful passage as it confirms that 24/7 can be the best. You must give from the heart to receive from the heart.

I love the comment from Mr. Buettgen. He is not a selfish person. My husband and I have been married for 32 years. My heart breaks for Philip, and I wish him the best life has for anyone who has lost their friend and lover. My husband and I are best friends. He has interests outside the home (lodge mostly), and it does not bother me one bit. Because I know something that every lover should know without any doubt – my husband comes home to ME! Both people in a relationship should LIKE each other before they get into the LOVE part. If you don’t like a person, don’t stay with them. Relationships are give as well as take…that’s for both women and men. Grow up before you take on a relationship. Good luck Philip and take care of yourself. You are a good egg!

Dear Dr.Fulbright,
In the past couple of years there has been a deluge of ad’s on TV for male “extender ” products. This so – called enhancement to the male anatomy must be selling like hot cakes for about 6 out of every 10 commercials on late night TV advertise some form or another of the product.
Question: Why hasn’t any one from the bona fide medical establishment taken these product producers to task and exposed them as major frauds ?
As a somewhat average male I’m very much taken aback by the rampant male vanity being displayed in America by the “real men” in our society. Oh well! they deserve what they get. By the way , are these products sold by the pound or the inch ?

If there were more men out there like Philip, this world would be a better place. I was married for 26 years and we were best friends and great lovers. We both had intrests away from each other, but we also shared alot of our time togethor. I have tried to find someone like that again and it seems to be that most of the guys I meet are intrested in only one thing,and its not a relationship. Theres alot of men and women who really need to grow up and stop playing all the games.

People are individuals. Find someone who has the traits you value most and accept the other traits. Some people want to be together all of the time and thrive on it. Some people want to be apart most of the time and just see each other to meet needs. You need to pray a lot if one of you wants to be together all the time and the other just wants needs met; This is a situation requiring divine intervention for a successful relationship.

To Donna Ray and Chere’

Thank you for your kind words. They reinforce my belief that the “bubba syndrome” is old world. My next book will take up the Discipline of our children or lack thereof and why our society is in such a state of decline.

By the way I will be eighty years old/young in December and I am now in a beautiful relationship with a brilliant engineer. I continue to live my life without the anchor of EGO. She is just fifty two and I consider myself as middle age. It does not get any better than this. I have been and continue to be blessed. Life is beautiful. You just have to embrace it.

Chere’: I’m one of those guys you are referring to…I’m only interested in one thing, and it is not a relationship. You wanna know why there aren’t more guys like Phillip? It’s because many guys (not all, but many) get burned every day by women, and we don’t need the drama that most women (not all, but most now-a-days) bring to the table. On top of that, the current divorce laws, particularly in California, are unfairly geared towards the benefit of women – regardless if a kid is brought into the picture. As it is now, without a prenup or pre-relationship agreement, there is no benefit for any man, young or old, to be in a committed relationship or married. I’m not saying guys should end their relationships, particularly if they are happy. But if they are in a committed relationship or married (or thinking of getting married), they should make sure they take care of themselves because their women will definitely take them to the cleaners if the relationship/marriage goes south. Don’t think the vast majority of women don’t play games to get what they want because they do even if they love you. Even though I am only interested in one thing, I treat the women I am with very well and we have a great time. Just remember to play it safe!

I love that example.. Iam at a horserace and shes drinking at a sex toy party… I dont know if i should laugh or go wow thats great advice

With all due respect to Dr. Yvonne, I don’t think her answer is the answer for all relationships; however, that being said, her advice is sound to me. My wife and I have only been married for about 6 years. She’s the type that is very controlling, and sometimes it has spilled over into areas of my life that used to be “mine.” I’ve become increasingly aware of this as we’ve gone along, and it has presented problems in the way that I feel for her at times. I can’t help but feel like she thinks she has to be a part of every aspect of my life because she lacks the will power to find her own separate activities. Wish us luck, because at this point in our relatively immature relationship, 20+ years seems a like a very, very long time.

Joseph: Word of advice…let your wife know how you feel. Even if she is controlling, maybe the light will click on. If that doesn’t work, try counseling. Even though I don’t put up with that type of behaviour, once you’ve gotten married, you should try to work out differences. I’ve found that most controlling people don’t realize that they are like this to others and need to be educated. One way I have found effective in dealing with controlling people is to ignore them (similar to how you would handle a spoiled child), and do what you are planning to do. (This does not apply to work place environments…) Yes, tempers flare but it is a real eye opener to them when they figure out why you are acting like you are. Or you can do the easy part and simply put them to the curb and move on. I would try working it out first though, divorce is expensive. Best of luck to you and your wife, and enjoy life!

I love my wife very much. I want to ensure she receives pleasure every time we make love. However, now at the age of 41, my stamina has seemed to diminish. How do I last longer for her?

dear
i am naresh from india. firstly i ask you that i do sex 2-3 times daily even till i am 24 yrs guy & unmarried now. this sex will creates weakness in body which evenly produces pain in my anal sometimes. but i tried all the experiments but in vain. so hopefully i take a chance to ask you the whole problem & you will be guided me surely. i have great hope with you. please help me in saving my life.
thanks for reply

how can i stop doing sex even i am a young & unmarried guy. i do sex usually 2-3 times in daily routine that creates problems in my body & anal also. please help me to prevent these things till my marriage bcoz i want to stop all these & tried all levels but at last fails. also suggest me that how can i make power into my body all these things make me totaly empty from inside.