June 24th, 2009 12:23 PM Eastern
Jon & Kate’s 8 Need Legal Guardians
by Dr. Keith Ablow
Jon and Kate Gosselin are splitting up — for real, as in, getting divorced. Well, not exactly “for real.” They’re divorcing one another in their hit reality TV series on the TLC network, parenting their eight kids separately from now on, while rotating in and out of their home (which also serves as the studio set for the show).I think TLC airs some very good programming. This show isn’t part of that lineup.
Jon and Kate’s troubles are entertaining, but hardly evocative. I doubt that any psychologically healthy person in America is worrying a whole lot over whether Kate lands on her feet or Jon finds true love. In this Truman Show version of life, there’s less chance of sparking real empathy than there is in a decent movie. That’s because movies depict true-life scenarios without pretending to be true life. There isn’t a grand lie at the center of the creative enterprise, a false notion that the viewer is peeking through the window of a normal house into normal lives.
Without showcasing their relationship for profit, Jon and Kate might have been done with their marriage a long time ago. Then again, without having caved into a desire for fame and fortune, at the expense of their genuine feelings, they might have celebrated a 25th wedding anniversary some day. There’s just no way to edit out the presence of a camera and production crew chronicling your existence. They inevitably turn your conflicts and joys into entertainment events designed in part for ratings.
That’s why Jon and Kate aren’t just a bad idea for one another, they also shouldn’t be raising children. Hijacking your sons’ and daughters’ lives and casting them as a ready-for-TV versions of themselves while “playing” their parents is a new form of child neglect or abuse. It’s bad enough when stage mothers and fathers commandeer their kids’ existences to fulfill their own narcissistic desires to be stars. Turning life into a stage is even worse. If nothing else, at least there’s a videotaped record of the psychological assault on these children for them to refer back to with their psychiatrists later in life.
Here’s the real reality: The eight kids need a guardian ad litem — a substitute parent appointed by the courts — to assess them and protect them from psychological harm. Now is the perfect moment for the state to insist on it, in the context of a divorce that won’t be simple and amicable, unless that kind of split seems like it would “rate” better than a knock-down, drag-out fight.
Dr. Keith Ablow is a psychiatry correspondent for FOX News Channel and a New York Times bestselling author. His newest book, “Living the Truth: Transform Your Life through the Power of Insight and Honesty” has launched a new self-help movement. Check out Dr. Ablow’s Web site at livingthetruth.com.
Tags: divorce, Dr. Keith Ablow, Gosselin, Jon & Kate, Jon & Kate Plus 8, reality TV, sextuplets, TLC, twins
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I couldn’t agree with Dr. Ablow more. The State itself will be guilty of 8 cases of child abuse if they fail to agree to an ad litum after all the discussion publicly about these children. What a mess this has become.
I have to say that your take on the whole Jon and Kate situation seems highly unprofessional. For that matter, when did the media become so biased? We, as viewers, are only privy to the snippets we see in thirty-sixty minute episodes. We do not live in their household. I dare say most of us have no idea what its like to raise eight children. As someone who has been with them from the beginning, I am left wondering who among their critics has actually ever watched their program before this season. As someone who is writing on behalf of the Gossling children, have you considered the possibility that the media may be equally as damaging. Cara and Maddy can read and their siblings will soon follow. Please, by all means, keep casting stones. After all, who among us makes mistakes?
I think there’s no question that Dr. Ablow is absolutely right here.
I don’t even watch TV anymore due to the proliferation of “Reality” shows, but that’s neither here nor there…
The thing that stands out (so conspicuously, and so tragically) in this particular “Reality” show, is the unabashed willingness of these two parents to inflict their own dysfunction upon their eight (?!) children. In front of omnipresent camera crews. Essentially, in front of the whole world.
I’m not saying that it’s better to inflict one’s dysfunction upon one’s children in private…
Perhaps that’s the ironic beacon of light in this particular situation: The whole world IS watching, the abuse is not hidden, and therefore something can be done about it.
Let’s just hope something WILL be done about it!
Thank you Dr. Ablow!
Where do I go for help with my HMO’S many delaying tecniques ?
I live in N.J. & HAVE “AARP MEDICARE COMPETE from SECUREHORIZONS” My I.D. #928078601
Jon and Kate plus 8- televised, glorified child abuse. How many of us adults remember the stuff we did as kids? How many of us remember being naughty and difficult for our parents to deal with? And how many of us would have wanted our parents airing out all ourt wrongdoings, punishmemts and tantrums out for the whole world to see on TV? I for one would have said no. Was breaking up your family and making fools of yourselves worth the money you got, Mr and Mrs Goselin?
This mother saw an opportunity to take care of her children financially (maybe foreseeing that her husband was not capeable?) and took it. In this economy I don’t blame her. We are the ones who have exploited them and threw out the stories which caused a lot of this turmoil for these children. THE ONES WHO SUPPORT THESE TYPE SHOWS SHOULD STAND UP AND SAY GUILTY AS CHARGED FOR YOUR OWN PARTICIPATION!!!!! My parents spanked me and I have done just fine and do not have a warped mind as do anyone else I know who was spanked. A spanking is much better than supporing these children who are let go and wind up in jail or worse! Let these people alone and get on with their lives!!!!!!!!