In the wake of Tuesday’s earthquake and subsequent tsunami that have wreaked havoc on the people of the Samoan islands, I ask Americans to remember those affected, and think about what you can do to help.

The devastation these people will feel in the coming weeks while they search desperately for their loved ones, and attempt to pick up the pieces of their broken lives is unimaginable. This is something that hits very close to home with me as I can remember my own devastation — as well as that of my entire family — after the tsunami that hit Phuket on December 26, 2004. Nine members of my family — spanning three generations — had set out to spend the holidays together in paradise, and were among the 230,000 lives lost in that horrible disaster. The search and recovery process was long and painful — and in the end, all but one of them was found and laid to rest. It’s a loss that you don’t ever fully heal from, and my heart aches just thinking of all the people faced with that same devastation today.

The relief effort is gearing up to bring aid to those affected by Tuesday’s tsunami, but relief groups like FEMA and the American Red Cross need help. From a health standpoint, immediate medical concerns may be cuts, lacerations and broken bones suffered by those who tried to escape danger. And as the weeks pass, aid workers will start to turn their efforts to providing people in these areas with food, water and shelter.

So please, keep them in your thoughts and prayers. And for more information on how you can help, click here.

Guilty coffee drinkers, take heart. It’s time to clear the fog about this remarkable beverage, and to straighten out misconceptions. Coffee is just plain good for you, and here you will find ammunition for that argument.

The Coffee Tree

The plant from which coffee derives is the coffee tree, an evergreen covered with fragrant white flowers and coffee cherries at the same time. Inside the bright red skin of the coffee cherry is a pair of beans. The beans are what all of coffee is about. The simple coffee bean bears the bracing stimulant caffeine, and also yields a satisfying flavor and aroma.

Mighty Caffeine

Whatever contains caffeine will be consumed widely. Why do we love and crave caffeine? Because it makes us feel good, by stimulating valuable physical and mental functions.

A caffeine user’s guide

- Brewed coffee  (5 ounces)  80 – 175 milligrams
- Percolated coffee (5 ounces)  40 – 170 milligrams
- Instant coffee  (5 ounces)  45 – 70 milligrams
- Cappuccino (6 ounces)  60 – 120 milligrams
- Hot cocoa  (6 ounces)  2 – 8 milligrams
- Tea, brewed  (7 ounces)  60 milligrams
- Iced tea (12 ounces)  70 milligrams
- Coca Cola (12 ounces)  45.6 milligrams

Can You Consume Too Much?

Yes you can. Side effects of over-consumption include nervousness, insomnia, and tremors. Excessive caffeine consumption can produce overly rapid heartbeat, mental stress, gastric discomfort and anxiety. The human lethal dose of caffeine is equal to approximately 66 five-ounce cups of coffee. Some people do not tolerate caffeine. If caffeine makes you jittery, sweaty, sick or uncomfortable, then it isn’t your drug.

Coffee and Your Brain

Coffee’s greatest effects are exerted upon the brain and mind, for coffee is the great, bold awakener. As a caffeinated beverage, coffee stimulates the brain, facilitating cognitive function overall. Coffee stimulates the flow of blood in the brain, and invigorates the mind. It enhances alertness and motivation, facilitates thought formation and concentration, and decreases mental fatigue. Coffee rouses the mental faculties as surely as streaming sunshine and hilarious birdsong awaken the sleeping.

Within a daily dosage range of 300 milligrams of caffeine per day, coffee improves negative moods which occur in the morning upon waking, dispelling the sullen and gloomy clouds which fog the mind upon rising. Coffee, as the most flavorful and potent caffeine-bearing beverage of all, increases general happiness and feelings of pleasure, and increases positive mood overall. Coffee promotes an upbeat positive sense of self, and an overall feeling of well being.

Coffee drinking even appears to reduce the risk of Parkinson’s Disease. Coffee drinkers have between 3 to 6 times lower risk of developing Parkinson’s as compared with non-coffee drinkers.

Coffee – Take Heart

Research into the natural chemical properties of coffee shows that the daily brew is a potent protective antioxidant potion.Coffee is especially high in one group of antioxidants called flavonoids. These compounds exhibit protective power against cardiovascular disease by reducing the oxidation of LDL cholesterol, thereby helping to protect against atherosclerosis, heart attack and stroke.

Coffee and Digestion

Coffee exerts well known effects upon the digestive system andstimulatesgastric secretion. For this reason a cup of coffee after lunch or dinner may be consumed to punctuate and help digest a meal. The morning cup of coffee not only awakens the body and mind, but stimulates bowel activity as well. A strong cup increases peristalsis, the wave-like motion of the intestines. This stimulates intestinal elimination. Many people rely on a morning coffee for thorough elimination. While coffee shouldn’t substitute for a good amount of fiber in a healthy diet, its contribution to proper intestinal elimination is beneficial.

Coffee not only offers welcome laxative activity, but also plays a role in preventing some digestive disorders. Drinking two to three cups of coffee daily can reduce the risk of developing gallstones by as much as 40 percent. Coffee consumption also shows a strong protective effect against cirrhosis of the liver. Daily intake of 3 to 4 cups of coffee can reduce thr risk of cirrhosis by as much as 80 percent. Even more impressively, coffee exhibits a protective effect against colon and rectal cancers, reducing the risk by as much as 24%. 

Coffee and Cancer

If you worry that drinking coffee is going to result in some form of cancer that will take you down, you can relax. For with regard to coffee and its association with other types of cancer, again the news is good news. Several major studies have failed to show any link between coffee consumption and prostate cancer, breast cancer or bladder cancer. Nor has any link been found between coffee consumption and fibrocystic breast disease. Coffee consumption is not known to increase the risk of any type of cancer.

What about coffee and bones? Caffeine has a negative effect on calcium metabolism. And one study has found that women who consume more than 817 milligrams of caffeine per day are at three times greater risk of hip fractures than women who consume no caffeine. But other studies show that moderate consumption of coffee is not associated with bone loss, increased risk of osteoporosis, or any higher rates of bone fractures.

Women have long felt concern over their consumption of coffee and its effects on fertility and pregnancy, and any possible increased risk of miscarriage or birth defects. Again the news appears to be good. Most studies do not show any link between coffeeand decreased or delayed fertility.

Athletes who eschew coffee may think again. A few studies have shown that caffeine enhances the body’s ability to utilize body fat for exercise, and increases the body’s ability to work out before fatigue. A cup of coffee before working out can do you good, enhancing both performance and endurance.

A simple pleasure – coffee provides a pleasant lift, and offers protective benefits to health. If you are going to drink coffee, do so happily, without guilt. After all, it’s good for you.

Chris Kilham is a medicine hunter who researches natural remedies all over the world, from the Amazon to Siberia. He teaches ethnobotany at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, where he is Explorer In Residence. Chris advises herbal, cosmetic and pharmaceutical companies and is a regular guest on radio and TV programs worldwide.  His field research is largely sponsored by Naturex of Avignon, France. Read more at www.MedicineHunter.com 

Actress MacKenzie Phillips has accused her deceased father John Phillips, famous as the lead singer of The Mamas and the Papas, of having a “consensual” sexual relationship with her.  She says it began when he raped her while she was semi-conscious and drugged at age 19 and continued for 10 years.  She also says she hopes her revelations will help other survivors of incest.
 
I applaud incest survivors and rape victims who come forward to share their stories because I believe that human empathy is the most powerful force in the universe.  The more that people disclose what they have suffered, the more chance there is that others will be relieved of the terrible psychological toll it is to keep their secrets underground, where they cause pathological guilt and depression and anxiety.
 
I’ve got several problems with MacKenzie Phillips’ allegations, however.  
 
First, I think it does no service to rape victims or victims of incest to suggest that father-daughter sex that begins at age 19 is “consensual.”  If Ms. Phillips is telling the truth (more about this later), then I would venture that the psychological gears behind her sexual relationship with her father began turning much earlier in her life, very likely when she was a young girl.  After all, Ms. Phillips also alleges that her father humiliated her in front of his famous friends by commenting on the way her body was changing during puberty.  No doubt, that was the tip of the iceberg.
 
Many of my patients who suffer greatly from sexual boundary violations by their parents, in fact, never slept with their fathers or mothers.  They were aware, however, that the potential for sexual contact was very real, as evidenced by inappropriate touching, joking or gazing.
 
My second problem with Ms. Phillips accusing her father of raping her and then having sex with her for a decade is that her father is dead.  He can’t refute the charges.  That seems awfully convenient.
 
My third problem with Ms. Phillips labeling her father a sexual predator is that she offers no corroborating evidence.  None.  There are no psychiatry records noted to support her claim.  She doesn’t come armed with three polygraphs that, flawed as they are, suggest she is telling the truth.  There are no ER records showing vaginal trauma from her “rape.”  There’s no one else on the face of the planet yet to come forward and confirm that John Phillips was a monster.
 
My fourth problem with Ms. Phillips is that she has lied to the media before—to get on television and become more famous.  Years ago, she told Geraldo Rivera she had quit drugs so she could tout her sobriety to the nation.  She was still using.  
 
My fifth problem with Ms. Phillips is that she was hooked on heroin and cocaine and other drugs, to begin with.  While I understand that drug abuse and dependence is an illness, I also know from treating over a thousand patients with the disorder that those with a predisposition to drug dependence are also predisposed to make up stories for their own benefit—in this case money and fame.  They aren’t reliable witnesses in court cases and they shouldn’t be seen as reliable reporters of fact in any venue.
 
That brings up my sixth problem with Ms. Phillips.  Her claims are neatly timed to sell books.  She found herself on Oprah making her allegations, not in an auditorium talking to survivors of sexual assault.  Millions of dollars may flow her way because she says she slept with her father for a decade.

So, we’ve got a drug addict who has lied to the media before, who now says that she’s telling an incredibly gripping tale, who also stands to make a fortune from it.  You add up the numbers.
 
Bottom line: When people paint their parents as monsters, they ought to have the strength of character to do it when their parents are on the planet to respond.  

I wouldn’t suggest anyone with real and genuine trauma spend a lot of time pondering MacKenzie Phillips’ packaged, media-friendly, mass market, convenient, dramatic, televised, titillating version.

Dr. Keith Ablow is a psychiatry correspondent for FOX News Channel and a New York Times bestselling author. His book, “Living the Truth: Transform Your Life through the Power of Insight and Honesty” has launched a new self-help movement including www.livingthetruth.com. Dr. Ablow can be emailed at info@keithablow.com.

Dear Yvonne,
Are green M&M’s an aphrodisiac?

— J.P.

Dear J.P.,
The only way green M&M’s will turn you on is if you truly believe that they will. Your mind is your biggest sex organ, so you have the power to make anything in this universe a turn on, including candy.

 With chocolate in general, research has found that consumption doesn’t create an arousal response. The sweet candy can, however, put you in the mood to invite such more readily. This is due to key ingredients which awaken you, boost endorphin production for a high, and that act as a natural amphetamine and antidepressant.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Vegetable Risotto

Whether it is made with chicken, seafood or vegetables it’s hard to resist a creamy rich bowl of risotto. The only drawback is that essentially no matter what the topping risotto is basically a big bowl of rice with lots of empty calories. So instead of the usual Arborio rice, this risotto uses pearl barley for a dish as creamy as traditional risotto, but with a bigger nutritional payoff—fewer calories and more fiber!

Ingredients:

• 8 cups canned low- sodium chicken broth

• 1 tablespoon olive oil

• 1 small onion, finely chopped

• 10 ounces white mushrooms, finely chopped

• 2 garlic cloves minced

• 1 cup pearl barley

• 2/3 cup dry white wine

• 3/4 cup frozen peas, thawed

• 2 cups cooked asparagus, cut into 1 inch pieces (discard tough ends)

• 1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese

• Salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

1. Bring the broth to a simmer in a heavy medium saucepan. Keep the broth over very low heat.

2. Add olive oil to a heavy sauce pan and add onion until tender, about 5 minutes.

3. Add the white mushrooms and garlic, sauté until the mushrooms are tender and juices evaporate, about 5 minutes.

4. Stir in the barley and let it toast for a few minutes.

5. Add the wine, cook until liquid is absorbed, stirring often, about 2 minutes.

6. Add one cup of hot broth; simmer over medium- low heat until the liquid is absorbed, stirring often, about 3 minutes.

7. Continue to cook until the barley is just tender and the mixture is creamy, adding more broth by cupfuls and stirring often, about 20 minutes.

8. Stir in the peas and asparagus and mix in the parmesan cheese.

9. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Serves 6

Nutritional information, per serving: 277 calories, 6g fat, 37g carbohydrate, 8g fiber, 15g protein, 1048mg sodium.

Tanya Zuckerbrot, MS, RD is a nutritionist and founder of www.Skinnyandthecity.com. She is also the creator of The F-Factor Diet™, an innovative nutritional program she has used for more than ten years to provide hundreds of her clients with all the tools they need to achieve easy weight loss and maintenance, improved health and well-being. For more information log onto www.FFactorDiet.com.

All parents are looking for ways to maximize their children’s educational experience. As a parent of a child with special needs, you are likely focused on more than academics. You have probably met with speech, occupational, and physical therapists, classroom teachers, and behavior specialists. They have given you advice on how to work with your child and areas you can target at home. All this advice is great but can be overwhelming. Now your child’s teacher tells you she will be attending a mainstream class with 25 peers and you’re not sure where to shift your focus. These tips will help you support your child at home as she begins her new experience at school.

Academics
Read, read, and read some more! Reading is the most important area you can work on because your child needs to read in a number of situations. Speak with your child’s teacher about his reading level and materials and strategies you can use at home. He may be working on a specific book or program. He may use a shield so he can focus on one line at a time. Make sure you know what he has done at school to avoid confusion. Many parents find it difficult to maintain their child’s focus because reading is a challenging area but it is crucial to make reading fun. Words are everywhere! Have your child read signs and posters when out in the community. Take turns reading every other page in a book before bed. Ask him to read labels on snacks. When he reads, praise him! Offer a special reward for reading, something he only gets after reading with you. Motivation is important to keep him working on an area that can be very frustrating.

Organization
Organizing herself and her belongings is an important piece of attending a mainstream class. Your child needs to organize her materials in her backpack and desk, on top of her desk while she works, and while moving throughout the hallway and class. The pace of a mainstream class is fast and being prepared will help your child maintain the pace with her peers. Have her carry items in the grocery store and help her organize them in her arms so she doesn’t drop them. Help her organize her backpack before school and adjust items so they all fit. When doing homework, make sure she folds her notebook back and exposes only the page she is writing on. Being able to organize her items will allow her to focus on the lesson and social interactions in class.

Independence
The less your child needs an adult to prompt him, the more seamless his experience will be in the mainstream. Start fostering independence in activities such as packing up his backpack, self-care skills, and eating. Make sure he can open his own juice box, snack bags, and lunch box. Make sure he retrieves and cleans up all materials during meal time and work time. The less he needs an adult to help him, the easier it will be for him to participate in class activities.

Socialization
Borrow siblings, neighbors, and friends’ children! Practice playing games, taking turns, and sharing toys and materials.  You may want to explain to the peer models you are using that your child is still learning how to do each of these things. Tell them “Everyone has things they are good at and things they are still learning how to do. Henry knows a lot about animals and he is learning how to make friends.” They don’t need any more information that that and sometimes acknowledging your child needs help will help them understand their role.

Preparing your child for an experience in the mainstream class can seem overwhelming; there are so many nuances that can’t be taught. Following these guidelines will give your child more than academic skills- it will make them a more confident, independent learner. The less your child has to worry about the “small stuff” the more time she has for academic instruction and establishing connections in the mainstream setting.

Continue to communicate with the classroom teacher regarding her progress in the mainstream setting. Let the teacher know you would like to reinforce skills taught at school in the home. As always, open and continuous communication will ultimately benefit your child, especially as she takes this big leap into a new setting.

Jennifer Cerbasi teaches at a public school for children on the autism spectrum in New Jersey. As a coordinator of Applied Behavioral Analysis programs in the home, she works with parents to create and implement behavioral plans for their children in an environment that fosters both academic and social growth. In addition to her work both in the classroom and at home, she is also a member of the National Association of Special Education Teachers and the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.

There are several reasons why I believe that most doctors are unhappy with the direction that health insurance reform is taking. I address several of these reasons in my oped in today’s NY Post (September 23rd, 2009). I will also outline them here. Suffice it to say that adding more patients to the health care turnstiles and promising them access to quality physicians when there is a growing doctor (and nurses) shortage and a growing doctor (and nurse) discontentment is problematic at best. The blanket of health insurance that Congress and the president envision is not long enough to cover the body of health care. If we pull it down to cover the toes, the head will be exposed. If we stretch it to cover the uninsured without dealing with cost or the doctor shortage, we will end up taking care away from those who currently have it and need it (the elderly and the disabled to name two groups who are endangered). Remember, physicians who aren’t functioning well have a negative impact on health care.

Reasons for doctor discontentment:

• No meaningful tort reform is included in any of the current bills under consideration in Congress. No shared liability with insurances or the government, no caps on pain and suffering, no review boards to limit nuisance suits, no “loser pays” allowance, despite the fact that physicians win the vast majority of suits.
• No significant subsidies to primary care education, despite the fact that there has been a decline in those choosing primary care of over 50% over the past decade.
• Big cuts to Medicare and Medicaid payments to doctors and hospitals of hundreds of billions of dollars in the bills, despite the fact that doctors are already cut to the bone in terms of increasing expenses and decreasing reimbursements.
• Cuts in payments for procedures and mechanical devices will put more pressure on doctors as patients express their (deserved) discontent, and there is nothing a doctor can do.

Dr. Marc Siegel is an internist and associate professor of medicine at the NYU School of Medicine. He is a FOX News medical contributor and writes a health column for the LA Times, where he examines TV and movies for medical accuracy. Dr. Siegel’s new Ebook: Swine Flu; the New Pandemic, will be published in early October. Dr. Siegel is also the author of “False Alarm: The Truth About the Epidemic of Fear“ and “Bird Flu: Everything You Need to Know About the Next Pandemic.” Read more at www.doctorsiegel.com

What is this mysterious plant, whose pods yield fire, and whose use has spread like licking flames through the culinary world? The chile plant is any of five domesticated species of Capsicumpeppers. All chiles may have originated from a single source, which some experts believe lies in central Bolivia. The fruits of the chile plant concern us most. As a rule mature chiles are red, orange, or yellow. The shape of chiles varies greatly. And there can be tremendous varieties of heat among peppers of the very same species.  

The Blazing Capsaicinoids

The substances that make chiles hot, and provide pleasure to chileeaters, are a group of natural oleoresins called capsaicinoids.  These substances account for between 0.1 percent - 1 percent of the total composition of a chile pepper. Of these compounds the hottest is capsaicin. A single drop of pure capsaicin will burn a hole right through healthy tissue. The sensation of burning produced by the capsaicinoids is physiologically similar to the sensation of burning caused by heat or fire. Imagine the surprise of the very first person who ever bit into a hot chile pepper!

Scoville, Measurer of Fire

In 1912, Wilbur Scoville, a chemist working for the Parke Davis pharmaceutical company established a method for measuring the heat level chili peppers. As a result of all these tests, various varieties of chile peppers can be ranked according to their heat or “pungency” level. The following scale comes originally from Doctor Ben Villalon of the Texas Agricultural Experiment Station. He conducted this survey of chiles and their heat, and his findings have been reprinted and reproduced thousands of times. Those of us in the chile world remain in Doctor Villalon’s debt for clearly delineating the heat levels of various chiles.

        0 -100 Scoville Units – Bell/sweet pepper varieties.
        500 -1000 Scoville Units – Big Jim, Anaheim peppers.
        1,000 -1,500 Scoville Units – Ancho, Pasilla peppers.
        1,500 -2,500 Scoville Units – Sandia, Cascabel, Rocotillo peppers.
        2,500 -5,000 Scoville Units – Jalapeno & Mirasol peppers.
        5,000 -15,000 Scoville Units – Yellow Wax, Serrano peppers.
        15,000 -30,000 Scoville Units – de Arbol peppers.
        30,000 -50,000 Scoville Units – Piquin, Cayenne & Tabasco peppers.
        50,000 -100,000 Scoville Units – Chiltepin, Thai, Santaka peppers
        100,000 -300,000 Scoville Units – Scotch Bonnet & Habanero peppers.
        575,000 Scoville Units – Red Savina Habanero peppers.
        855,000 Scoville Units – Naga Jolokia peppers (Professional pepper. Do not eat this at home) .
        16,000,000 Scoville Units – Pure Capsaicin (Don’t even think about it.) 

Chiles and Health

From arthritis to asthma, colds to constipation, hemorrhoids to high blood pressure, lethargy to lumbago, and tonsillitis to toothache, chiles have played prominently in the formulas and practice of herbal medicine. Chiles have been made into decoctions, compresses, tinctures and ointments.

As researchers delve into chiles and their heat components the capsaicinoids, their studies show that many of the traditional folk uses of chiles as medicines can be understood by modern scientific means.

Take chiles to heart – Chiles perform a number of functions which enhance heart health. They reduce platelet aggregation, the process by which disk-shaped structures in the blood accumulate and clog vessels. Chiles are vasodilators. They open up blood vessels, thereby stimulating blood circulation and warming the body. Chiles help to reduce oxidation of LDL cholesterol, a primary risk factor in heart attack and stroke. Chiles also reduce triglycerides, stored fats in blood cells. All around, chiles are very good for cardiovascular health.

Burn calories! –Eating chiles actually helps you to burn calories, and shed pounds. Research conducted at Oxford Polytechnic Institute shows that eating chiles increases thermogenesis, the body’s caloric burn rate. If you eat chiles or chile sauce with a meal, your body will burn calories at an increased rate of about 25%. This translates into maybe 45 calories more burned per 700 calorie meal. That’s pretty good.

Cancer prevention – Capsaicin in chiles fights cancer by preventing carcinogens from binding to DNA. This does not mean that chiles are a cancer treatment, but it does mean that eating chiles can help to reduce the risk of certain typers of cancer. As part of your dietary intake on a regular basis, chiles provide some measure of cancer protection.

Headache? – Chiles provide relief for some types of headaches, especially painful cluster headaches.  It may be that in the instance of cluster headaches, consumption of chiles wears out the mechanism by which pain is transmitted. Some people take cayenne capsules for relief. These are found at health food stores under several brands. But you can also pour some hot sauce on food, or eat a chili-laden soup.

General pain – Hot chiles provide pretty good relief for pain. Chiles contain pain-alleviating salicylates. Aspirin itself is a salicylate-based drug, acetyl-salicylic acid. Remember, when you eat chiles, you also get a pleasant endorphin buzz going, which also helps to reduce pain. Instead of reaching for the Tylenol, try a habanero instead.

Open that stuffy nose – If you have a cold or allergy accompanied by clogged sinuses, there’s nothing quite like a steaming bowl of soup just loaded with fiery hot sauce to blast open your airways. Your nose will run like a river for a while, but then you’ll be able to breathe.

Sluggish digestion, constipation – Chiles get your digestive juices going. So if your digestion is slow or weak, a good dash of hot sauce in your food will prove useful. If your bowels are clogged and you wish otherwise, sprinkle chile flakes (crushed red pepper), seeds and all, on your food. The chile will act like a blasting cap, helping to eliminate backed up waste. It may burn a bit, but you’ll have a good bowel movement.

Live forever- In your longevity plan, factor is a steady flow of hot chile peppers, and you’ll gain a host of powerful benefits.

Chris Kilham is a medicine hunter, and researches natural remedies all over the world, from the Amazon to Siberia. Chris teaches ethnobotany at U Mass Amherst where he is Explorer In Residence. He advises herbal, cosmetic and pharmaceutical companies , and is a regular guest on radio and TV programs worldwide. His field research is largely sponsored by Naturex of Avignon, France. Visit  his web site at www.MedicineHunter.com

The recent murder cases of Annie Le at Yale, possibly by 24-year-old Yale lab technician Raymond Clark, and of Trisha Leffler by accused Craigslist killer Philip Markoff obviously took the lives of two young women and shattered the lives of their families.  I have treated parents of murdered children, as well as their siblings, and know that the surface scars may fade over time, but that the internal emotional bleeding—the complicated grief—never seems to end. 
 
Less attention is paid to the other victims of such horrific crimes—the families, girlfriends and friends of the killers.  Both Raymond Clark and Philip Markoff were not only the sons of mothers and fathers, but both men were engaged to be married.  In both cases, if convictions are obtained, their fiancés are left to pick up the pieces of their psyches, battered by the knowledge that they had loved and committed themselves to men who were pathologically violent.
 
When one’s son or daughter, husband or wife, or fiancé turns out to be a stranger full of darkness, it is a reckoning with reality like few others.  I have counseled such individuals and seen the tears in their eyes and the stress in their faces as they tried to make sense of how someone seemingly so close to them could have been, in fact, infinitely far removed. If people who profess their love can keep their darkest truths under wraps, who and what can be trusted in the world?
 
Many, many people know something about the challenges that face the “survivors” of intimate connections with murderers.  After all, my practice has long been populated by those who were injured by assailants who played the role of parents, teachers and mentors. Their ability to trust is often long in being reborn, relying not a little bit on how trustworthy and reliable I can be as a clinician.  Such is the miracle of human empathy:  the example of a decent, caring relationship can mend some of the damage done by a harmful one, even a predatory one.
 
Yet to have lived with or loved a killer is a special case.  The journey back from that kind of terror and self-doubt has several ingredients.  First, it has to be said that there are among us men (and women) who can indeed wear what the great psychiatrist Hervey Cleckley called a mask of sanity.  Having buried their destructiveness and rage deep inside them (until it explodes) they become people imitating people, doing those things that seem kind and respectful, without feeling kind or respectful.  They are playacting, and they can be better at it than the best actor in any movie.  Scott Peterson, who killed his wife Laci and their unborn son Conner, was such a man—likeable, with good manners, able to win women over with one-liners harvested from movies and chilled champagne tucked in a backpack for a romantic hike.
 
So those who share their lives with killers can take some solace in the fact that many pass themselves off as normal, even to law enforcement officials and psychiatrists. That’s the easy part.
 
The harder part is understanding that there can be a reason why those who turn out to have loved killers find themselves in that rare psychological territory.  And often that relates to their own willingness to distance themselves from core feelings of anger and anxiety and accept the surface of things. Very often the lovers and best friends and even parents of killers have had traumatic life experiences that paved the way for them turning a blind eye to their emotions and instincts, making them the ideal partners for predators. 
 
Predators can sense when they are in the presence of others who will take them at their word. 
 
Like most of our emotional challenges in life, the biggest hurdle to healing for those with a killer in the family is looking inside themselves, at the very things they have tried to avoid seeing.
 
Dr. Keith Ablow is a psychiatry correspondent for FOX News Channel and a New York Times bestselling author. His book, “Living the Truth: Transform Your Life through the Power of Insight and Honesty” has launched a new self-help movement including www.livingthetruth.com. Dr. Ablow can be emailed at info@keithablow.com.

Recently, I attended a fundraiser for Sophie’s Voice Foundation, a charitable organization founded by actors Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker in honor of their daughter, Sophie, who was diagnosed with spina bifida at birth. Spina Bifida is a neural tube defect that affects the development of the spinal cord in unborn infants. Each year, about 3,000 pregnancies are affected by these birth defects, and these children suffer from medical problems, psychosocial issues, learning disabilities, and multiple personal concerns including mobility, bowel and bladder control.

There is a silver lining here, however, with regards to nutrition intervention and prevention. Research has shown that the risk of having a baby with spina bifida can be reduced by up to 70 percent with 400 mcg of folic acid taken daily three months prior to conception and in the first three months of pregnancy. Click here for more research. 

Folic acid is a B vitamin, which our bodies need to make new cells and therefore, is especially important in vitro. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends that all women of childbearing age who are capable of becoming pregnant get enough of this essential B vitamin daily. Pregnancy isn’t always planned or controlled and therefore, if you are a woman in that age bracket, it is important to heed this advice.

Once pregnant, the FDA recommends you boost your intake to 600 mcg/day and although there’s no toxic level, the FDA advises you keep folic acid consumption to 1000 mcg/day. Here are three ways to ensure you are getting enough in your diet:

1. Have a bowl of folic acid-fortified cereal every morning. The FDA requires that folic acid be added to specific flours, breads and other grains.  Check the label to make sure it is fortified. It might be listed as folate, the natural form of this B vitamin but the amount, 400 mcg, which is usually added remains the same.

2. Take a vitamin. Most multivitamins sold in the United States contain the 400 mcg of folic acid recommended. If you are pregnant, your doctor should prescribe a prenatal vitamin, which also contains at least this amount.

3. Eat a diet rich in folate. In addition to the above, eating a diet rich in folate is not only beneficial for your unborn child but includes foods for overall heart health and disease prevention!

Food Source                                      Folate (mcg)*
Chickpeas, ½ cup                           141
Spinach – cooked, ½ cup              131
Kidney beans, ½ cup                      115
Orange juice, 1 cup                           74
Broccoli – cooked, ½ cup                 84
Green peas, ½ cup                            50
Orange, medium                                39
Strawberries, 1 cup                            35
Romaine lettuce, ½ cup                     32

*Source: USDA National Nutrient Database for Standard Reference

Check out the Sophie’s Voice Foundation Web site for more information on spina bifida, family outreach programs, prenatal education, surgical options, and how you can get involved!

Tanya Zuckerbrot, MS, RD is a nutritionist and founder of www.Skinnyandthecity.com.  She is also the creator of The F-Factor Diet™, an innovative nutritional program she has used for more than ten years to provide hundreds of her clients with all the tools they need to achieve easy weight loss and maintenance, improved health and well-being.  For more information log onto www.FFactorDiet.com.