Dear Yvonne,
What makes people attracted to one another?
—Tommy

Dear Tommy,
Studies over the years have consistently found that we tend to be attracted to people who are similar to us in socio-economic status, intelligence, background (ie., ethnicity), values (ie., religion), attractiveness, expectations, and attitudes. Even if “opposites” have an intense, initial attraction, they tend not to stay together in the long-term since people prefer and find comfort in sameness. It also makes the relationship a lot easier, for example, less conflict.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Dr. Fulbright,
How can I break out of the “Good girls don’t do that” trap and realize that if you never push your boundaries, you’ll keep having the same old sex forever?
— Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,
Most people grow up with a lot of negative messages about sex, for example, they’re told whom to have sex with and under what circumstances. Anything outside of that recipe can be scary, guilt-ridden and wrong. At the same time, it’s titillating because we’re suddenly “bad” if we deviate.

When it comes to sex, the “good girl” versus “bad girl” labels are just that — societal labels. They’re just a negative way of capturing different degrees of one’s willingness to experiment sexually or push the sexual relations envelope. What works for one isn’t going to work for another, and what’s pleasurable for one is going to be a turn off for the next.

So it’s important to realize that we’re all sexually unique and into different things, and it is such a disservice to yourself (and your relationship) to not be at least somewhat open-minded to trying different things or find out what’s best for you. It’s perfectly healthy for people to test their boundaries with different types of sex play and adventures – and to discover what is most sexually gratifying for them. What other people put on you, like the “good girl” message, is a mere reflection of their own issues, attitudes, and discomforts with sexuality. It is not your burden to bear.

Realize, too, that avoiding the sexual rut helps people to experience new sensations, new forms of pleasure, and helps them to maintain monogamy.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,
Economic studies show that since 1965, Americans have gained, not lost, leisure time—anywhere from 5 to 10 hours per week. So the excuse of not having enough time for sex isn’t really valid. Is there a way any of us can get in the mood, even when you have no motivation?
—No Name

Dear No Name,
One of the best ways to have more sex is to actually have sex. This is because sex boosts testosterone in the body, which revs up our sex drive. People have lots of excuses, many which are quite valid, for not having sex, among them: Childrearing obligations, stress, time, fatigue, etc … But at the end of the day, these excuses get abused.

People need to make lovemaking as much of a priority as anything else in their lives. They also have to be mindful of not taking their lover for granted. We need to continually woo and entice our lovers, especially in keeping things hot, desirable, and fueled. Passion can be maintained throughout a romance, no matter how little time you have. But people need to understand that this takes work.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,
Would you agree that it’s important for women not to worry about the way they look during sex? After all, research shows that a woman’s partner is likely paying attention to her face and body and looking for clues that she’s feeling really good, which makes him feel good, right?
— Charlie

Dear Charlie,
It’s hard for a man to gauge a woman’s sexual responsiveness. So he’s looking to her face for cues that she’s aroused, plus he’s titillating himself in seeing her “sex face” come to life. His ego goes into full gear in loving that he’s helping to make that happen for her — and he thinks it’s one of the hottest looks around. Even if a woman feels silly or is self-conscious about the way she looks, she should rest assured that he thinks she’s super sexy in that state.

Dear Yvonne,
Are men more interested in sex than women?
—Manny

Dear Manny,
Though this is the general thought, it’s not the general rule, as many women would contest. The idea that men have a stronger sex drive and more sexual interest than women is largely due to society traditionally having been more permission-giving with the male libido and pursuits. The true difference lies in when the sexes are interested in sex.

A woman’s sex drive is related to her menstrual cycle. For many women, it’s heightened during ovulation whereas for others it’s the week she’s menstruating. For males, his sex drive varies more daily versus monthly, and is dependent upon testosterone levels. A male’s testosterone levels tend to be highest in the morning.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,
Are green M&M’s an aphrodisiac?

— J.P.

Dear J.P.,
The only way green M&M’s will turn you on is if you truly believe that they will. Your mind is your biggest sex organ, so you have the power to make anything in this universe a turn on, including candy.

 With chocolate in general, research has found that consumption doesn’t create an arousal response. The sweet candy can, however, put you in the mood to invite such more readily. This is due to key ingredients which awaken you, boost endorphin production for a high, and that act as a natural amphetamine and antidepressant.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Hi Dr. Yvonne,
Does water act like a spermicide if you have sex in it?
Stevie

Water is not a spermicide. While chlorine makes for a hostile environment for sperm (and latex), it will not kill sperm right away. While men who spend a lot of time in hot tubs tend to have lower sperm counts, the hot water cannot be relied upon as birth control. The general rule is – in or out of water – anytime semen is emitted in the vagina or on the vulva, there is the chance of pregnancy.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Dr. Fulbright,
If a man has hang-ups about his body or is nervous to be nude in front of his partner, how can this negatively affect his sex life? My husband has put on weight and seems more sexually self-conscious because of it.
—Meg

Like females, when a guy has body image hang ups, he’s going to be self-conscious during sex. He’s going to be more in his head, worrying about what his lover thinks and how he looks versus losing himself in the moment. He will also not be in the mood for sex as much, or seek it out as often. He may also be more inhibited when he does have sex, for example, lights off or sex in certain positions where she’s less likely to see him.

For both sexes, in feeling out of shape, a person doesn’t feel as sexy. It’s also harder to move — a person is going to feel more sluggish, far from peak performance. People report more vibrant sex lives when they’re in shape and exercising.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Doc,
When we hear about people being attracted to another’s feet, for example, the foot fetish, it always seems to be men who are into them. Do women, in general, find men’s feet sexually attractive?
—Bill

Dear Bill,
In general, there’s the stereotype that men’s feet aren’t attractive, especially if he’s past a certain age, and that men’s feet smell in large part because of a lack of attention. While your average female is not expecting him to become a metrosexual with the regular pedicure, or to have attractive feet per se, her biggest expectation/hope is that he will keep them clean. She wants him to wash them with warm soap and water, to trim his toenails and clean under them, and to make efforts to reduce dirt and the chance of fungal infections.

That said, women do notice men’s feet, but are usually more caught up in gauging his facial expressions and other body language when it comes to reading his potential attraction/feelings for her. Unkempt feet aren’t a dealbreaker for most, as she’ll excuse that he’s “just being a guy,” and add it to her mental checklist of things to touch up about him as they get more serious.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dr. Fulbright,
Are there any health risks or hazards associated the oral consumption of semen? Thank you so much and I hope that you have a wonderful day.
Sincerely,
—Zach

Dear Zach,
This is often a matter of debate for lovers, especially since oral sex has been misrepresented as a low risk form of sex. Anytime semen is deposited into the mouth, there is a risk of getting a sexually transmitted infection. Possible infections include gonorrhea, syphilis, HIV, herpes, hepatitis B, human papilloma virus (HPV), and CMV. To reduce the risk of infection, a latex condom should be worn over the penis.

Do you have a question about sex? If so, foxnewshealth.com wants to hear from you! E-mail your questions to drmanny@foxnews.com

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”