Dear Yvonne,

Does having sex at a higher altitude impact it in any way?

– Alec

Dear Alec,
While little research has been done in this area, high-altitude sex can impact pleasuring. There’s less oxygen in the air the higher you get above sea level. At 8,000 feet, you have much less oxygen to work with. For some people, this can make for a more intense orgasm. Sex in a new place or being on vacation or in the ‘great outdoors’ can also enhance the sexual experience, as is often the case with those finding themselves in high altitudes.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,

You often go after stress in your articles in achieving better sex.

What do you do personally to reduce stress? What’s your biggest professional recommendation in having lovers reduce their stress levels?

– Petra

Dear Petra,
Personally… To stay sane and keep stress under control, I go for a swim every weekday that I can, hit the gym on weekends, plus try to catch a session of yoga weekly in addition to my own practice. I try to eat healthy foods – lots of fruits and few carbs. Allowing some downtime every now and then is important, with friends and family or by myself.

I also think that a person’s body performs best when it has a routine – for example, having a regular bedtime, regular workout schedule and eating regularly scheduled meals. So I strive for that. I know that this is so hard to do for a lot of people, but it really helps. Also, doing things to avoid crowds can really help you to get things done faster, more efficiently, and with much less stress – for example, going grocery shopping early in the morning.

Professionally… I would push the power of touch more than anything. People need to be touched; people need affection on a regular basis. This could be something as simple as a hug to a roll in the hay with a special honey to an all out date with yourself. Touch not only provides pleasure, but comfort, reassurance, and support as well.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,
How is it that men with jelly roll stomachs and hairy backs don’t act the slightest bit self-conscious in bed?
— Alicia

Dear Alicia,
Despite not being rock-hard, waxed models (which most men aren’t), some of these men are confident about themselves in other ways — for example, they make a lot of money or are in powerful positions. In some cases, women go for them for socioeconomic reasons, so they don’t have to put as much care into bodily maintenance. Or, it’s simply that they are not concerned about such matters.

For some men, it’s a matter of what is culturally acceptable (body hair isn’t a problem in many parts of the world). Lastly, there are lots of men who are concerned about being overweight or body hair removal, but they are smart enough not to draw attention to these things the way some women do. Furthermore, they’ve got the media on their side. Men with jelly roll stomachs aren’t ridiculed the same way women are — for some reason it’s not considered as unsightly. We regularly see them featured in popular television shows, so they’re more accepted and feel pretty OK about themselves.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,

I want to tell my girlfriend that I love her, and I am debating if I should do so for the first time during love-making.  Bad idea?

–Tim

Dear Tim,
While saying “I love you” in bed is super romantic, don’t do it for the first time during sex or after for that matter. Your girlfriend may have trouble hearing you or may wonder if it was the sex that made you say it. She may also be too caught up in her sexual response to enjoy it – satiate it – as much.

If anything, let your “I love you” be the aphrodisiac to initiate foreplay and love-making some time special.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,
Is it true that a person’s mood can influence their attraction to somebody?

– Conal

Dear Conal,
Our mood can influence our romantic attraction. Feelings like being calm, tense, content, or anxious, as well as body states like pain or pleasure, contribute to our mood and influence our romantic feelings for someone, despite the fact that we’re not always aware of this backdrop of emotions and motivations for love. Being happy, excited, curious, or satisfied is going to make us show more interest in and be friendlier with others than if we are sad or depressed.

Furthermore, people respond positively to everyone and everything that makes them feel good. Through conditioning, we connect an individual with a good feeling, which continues to generate the same emotion in us. For example, a person is likelier to like a stranger who is around when receiving good news. A connection is made between the good news and the stranger, even if the person is not responsible for the good news or mood it creates. Good music and movies have also been found to influence how attractive we find others.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,
I’ve got a special someone who wants me to take her home for Christmas this year. I’m excited by the suggestion, but already stressing since it’s tradition for me to spend Christmas Eve with my friends – and I kinda don’t want her to crash on the little time I have with them. How should I handle not inviting her if that’s what I end up doing?

– Mike

Dear Mike,
This is tricky territory and how it’s received (rationally) is very dependent upon how far along the relationship has developed. If things have reached a level that she should be invited, but you don’t want her there, then you need to re-evaluate the relationship, examining issues like fears you may have about being in such an intimate union. 

If you tell her that you want to spend time with her, but aren’t quite ready to spend Christmas Eve with her, she can’t fault you for your honesty, even if she doesn’t like it. Your one out may be that your friends are your family and the family has decided this year that other people’s partners aren’t invited. She may not take it as personally, but don’t count on it. 

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,

I’m about to try online dating. Any tips for a killer seductrix profile??

– Kristin

Dear Kristin,
Your first impression is going to come down to a grabbing username and headline. So get creative and, if you’re not, recruit your friends for something inviting and noticeable that captures what you’re about. When drafting your profile, use colorful words to describe yourself, saying that you’re “vivacious” instead of “nice” or “driven” instead of “goal-oriented.” Strive for a well-rounded picture that includes activities, interests, hopes, and passions. At the same time, keep things brief in a way that a browser will want to learn more.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,
Are men’s nipples really that sensitive? I wouldn’t think so. What would make them so?
—Brad

Dear Brad,
In both men and women, the nipples are surrounded by the areola and consist of smooth muscle fibers that cause them to become erect, (like when cold or sexually excited). During sexual stimulation, the nipples fill with blood, becoming more sensitive to the touch in some individuals; male or female.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,
What makes people attracted to one another?
—Tommy

Dear Tommy,
Studies over the years have consistently found that we tend to be attracted to people who are similar to us in socio-economic status, intelligence, background (ie., ethnicity), values (ie., religion), attractiveness, expectations, and attitudes. Even if “opposites” have an intense, initial attraction, they tend not to stay together in the long-term since people prefer and find comfort in sameness. It also makes the relationship a lot easier, for example, less conflict.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Dr. Fulbright,
How can I break out of the “Good girls don’t do that” trap and realize that if you never push your boundaries, you’ll keep having the same old sex forever?
— Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,
Most people grow up with a lot of negative messages about sex, for example, they’re told whom to have sex with and under what circumstances. Anything outside of that recipe can be scary, guilt-ridden and wrong. At the same time, it’s titillating because we’re suddenly “bad” if we deviate.

When it comes to sex, the “good girl” versus “bad girl” labels are just that — societal labels. They’re just a negative way of capturing different degrees of one’s willingness to experiment sexually or push the sexual relations envelope. What works for one isn’t going to work for another, and what’s pleasurable for one is going to be a turn off for the next.

So it’s important to realize that we’re all sexually unique and into different things, and it is such a disservice to yourself (and your relationship) to not be at least somewhat open-minded to trying different things or find out what’s best for you. It’s perfectly healthy for people to test their boundaries with different types of sex play and adventures – and to discover what is most sexually gratifying for them. What other people put on you, like the “good girl” message, is a mere reflection of their own issues, attitudes, and discomforts with sexuality. It is not your burden to bear.

Realize, too, that avoiding the sexual rut helps people to experience new sensations, new forms of pleasure, and helps them to maintain monogamy.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”