One of the fortunate—and sometimes unfortunate—aspects of human biology is that we contain within us the physiology for extraordinary pleasures.  When we are psychologically in balance, our capacity to derive enjoyment from our senses and our bodies, whether through eating or exercise or sex, enriches our lives immeasurably.  But when we face underlying turmoil or pain or unhappiness, we can use our inborn capacities for pleasure as shields against thinking and feeling our emotions—literally harnessing our brain chemical messengers and neurotransmitters like infusions of drugs.
 
Sexual addiction is one of the dark roads men and women travel in order to avoid their feelings and the complexities of their life stories.  They turn to sex to “drug” themselves and relieve deeper feelings of anxiety or depression or boredom or loneliness.  In doing so they not only deprive themselves of journeying toward a true understanding of the roots of their negative feelings, they cause a lot of collateral damage.  That damage can include shattered families, a loss of respect in the community, legal problems, financial problems and health problems.
 
Sexual addiction is also unique in that it can now be “fed” 24/7 through the Internet, which provides countless graphic images and videos that are the equivalent of a constant infusion of alcohol or heroin.  Gambling addicts at least have the rate-limiting step of their own finances as a potential brake on their dependency.  Drug addicts have to procure their substances.  But sex addicts can mainline their drug through magazines, the Web, escort services and relationships built only around physical satisfaction.
 
For these reasons, it can take a long time for sex addicts to come to terms with the fact that their addiction is harming them or others.  Most sex addicts aren’t arrested with prostitutes in hotel rooms; they’re wasting good years in one emotionally anonymous relationship after another, or wasting hours and hours on the Internet, or wasting the potential for true closeness with their children because they are driven to divorce by their needs or distracted by recruiting their next lover.  What are the signs and symptoms of sexual addiction?  Here are some to consider:

– Underlying anxiety or depression when the activity related to sex is resisted.

– A need for exposure to sexually stimulating material or relationships that overshadows the need for real emotional, interpersonal connections. A need for exposure to sexually stimulating material or relationships that overshadows the need for real emotional, interpersonal connections.

– A preoccupation with sexual fulfillment or fantasies that interferes with daily life, one’s employment or one’s marriage.

If you or someone you love has any of these symptoms, a psychiatrist or psychologist is a good place to turn for help. Remember, the fact that we have the anatomy and physiology for pleasure of many kinds means that we are, as human beings, also at risk for redirecting those healthy pleasures into pathology.

Dr. Keith Ablow is a psychiatry correspondent for FOX News Channel and a New York Times bestselling author. His book, “Living the Truth: Transform Your Life through the Power of Insight and Honesty” has launched a new self-help movement including www.livingthetruth.com. Dr. Ablow can be emailed at info@keithablow.com.

Today I read an incredibly tragic story about a 2-month-old baby in Pennsylvania who died of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) because her parents were allegedly too drunk and high on cocaine to notice.

The parents, Jennifer Nicole Gaster and Daniel Keith Martin II, both 30, stood trial Monday on child endangerment charges alleging that after a night spent snorting cocaine and drinking beer and vodka, the couple was too incapacitated to notice their baby was dying.

This is not the first time we have seen a parents with a history of drug and/or alcohol abuse lose a child to SIDS. In February of 2007, a Michigan woman pleaded guilty to charges that claimed high levels of cocaine in her breast milk had killed her 5-month-old daughter. Although the cause of death was originally thought to be SIDS at the time the baby died, further testing proved otherwise, and at the trial, the mother admitted to using cocaine two or three times the day before the baby died.

Traces of cocaine can remain in breast milk for more than 48 hours after a woman uses it — and the transmission from mother to infant has been linked to respiratory failure, seizures, increased cardiovascular risk, central nervous system damage, irritability and addiction — just to name a few.

Babies are at high risk for SIDS if they:

o          Are born to mothers who smoke or use drugs

o          Have low birth weight or premature infants

o          Are exposed to environmental tobacco smoke

o          Sleep in a crib packed with soft objects and loose bedding

o          Are placed to sleep on their stomachs

o          Are between the ages of 1 and 6 months

Please be advised that most drugs are transmitted through breast milk. If you are abusing any kind of drug – especially cocaine – the effects can be deadly.

Dear  Yvonne,
As a sophomore in college, I have a serious crush for the first time and I’m not sure if I like or dislike the sensations. What’s happening to me?
— Kaylie

Dear Kaylie,
As you become more infatuated with somebody, a lot of your time and energy goes to focusing on that individual and all of the events – or anything else – associated with that person. A person with a serious crush can seem almost obsessive with what’s called “intrusive thinking” – can’t get you out of my head. Some will feel awkward and nervous around a crush (with physical reactions to boot, for example, your heartbeat picks up), which isn’t always seen as a good thing. Away from a beloved or in processing a negative signal, you can feel depressed, full of despair or even listless. You may even experience “separation anxiety.” Perhaps the most frustrating thing is that one can’t really control these emotions unless they cut themselves off from the source entirely.

At the same time, if your crush experience is turning out to be positive, and your love object is returning your affections, all of the above will become addictive like a drug. So many would say that these things aren’t necessarily bad. Many thrive off of these roller coaster reactions. Either way, know that what you’re experiencing is perfectly normal!

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”