What is it about the length of time between sexual encounters for men that makes their orgasm more powerful or not?

—Gabe

Whether they’ve had one or many orgasms during sex, men require a refractory period after sex prior to becoming aroused again. This down time is vital to him being able to, sooner or later, experience arousal, erection and climax all over again.

For many men, the longer it has been since the last time they had an orgasm, the more powerful the orgasm during their next sex session. Their emission is likelier to come faster as well. Possible reasons for this reaction include the release of pent-up sexual tension, the fact that he has been more easily stimulated since it has been a while, and his body’s eagerness to ejaculate since it’s had plenty of time to replenish his semen load.  

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,
I heard it’s possible for a woman to have an orgasm while giving birth. Is this fact or fiction?
-Anna Maria

Dear Anna Maria, 
Yes, females can indeed experience climax during natural childbirth, a reaction Dr. Danielle Harel coined an “unexpected birthgasm.” In researching this phenomenon, Harel learned some women have experienced a rather surprising orgasm at the moment of birth without sexual stimulation or fantasy. Understandably, given the circumstances, this response is not interpreted by these women as sexual. It has been speculated that one of the reasons for this reaction is due to the baby’s head putting pressure on the pelvic and hypogastric nerve system as it descends, inducing orgasm.

In learning about birthgasms, couples have actively sought to have a woman experience such a “passionate birth.” Research indicates that the primary factors that allow for such are that:

- The woman has a good sex life and understands everything that birthing entails.
- A woman and her partner incorporate massage, kissing and masturbation as part of the birthing experience.
- The woman is not given anesthesia during childbirth and uses sexual stimulation to ease contractions.
- The woman is in a safe, private environment for the birth.
- The woman’s partner is supportive, for example, he or she holds her. 
 
For information on how a woman can have an orgasmic pregnancy, please check out my newly released book “Your Orgasmic Pregnancy: Little Sex Secrets Every Hot Mama Should Know.”

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,
I am a 35-year-old woman. When I was a teenager, I had gotten on top of my boyfriend during sex and was told I was a maniac. Twenty years later and I still won’t get on top. It has been so long now that I don’t know how to get past it in my head. I now want to perform, but my brain will not allow me to feel comfortable. What can I do?  I’m dying to get on top and climax!!
                      – Lizzie

Dear Lizzie,
You should get on top!! Don’t let some comment from a bonehead teen boy deter you from realizing your pleasure potential! Chances are, he meant it as a compliment. Being a maniac in bed is usually construed as a good thing from the male perspective. It means that you’re active, into the moment, enjoying yourself, letting go of your inhibitions and ‘going crazy!’ Wild abandon is a good bedroom addition from time to time, so leave your fears at the door, and saddle up!

Believe it or not, woman-on-top is one of the best positions for ladies. Female dominant sex puts us in charge of our pleasuring, ups the chances of orgasm(s), and makes us the star of the show. Many partners love seeing their lover riding high, and this position results in mutual climax more than any other. Sure, it can be intimidating to get on top, but don’t allow yourself to miss out on another minute of hot girl in charge sex play!

Just be sure to let your partner know how you feel, and ask for your lover’s encouragement and support during your ride. A good lover will be there for you, letting you know that everything is great, everything feels good, and you are all s/he’ll need when you’re in that position. I’m quite certain your high school sweetheart is probably, to this day, drooling over the thought of his hot little temptress, not cowering in disdain. So, get on top – you owe it to yourself!

Dr. Yvonne Kristin Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Dr. Yvonne,
Sometimes when I’m doing random, nonsexual things like watching the news, I’ll have a feeling in my groin that’s like having an orgasm, even though I’m not touching myself or doing anything to get turned on. What’s this about?
Tonya

Spontaneous orgasm is when a person has an unanticipated climactic response without genital contact, or at least any that she is consciously aware of. Such an effortless indulgence of genital sensations may be a physical response to things like the fabric from wedgy-style, tight shorts rubbing up against your genitals, or rocking movements (maybe as you’re watching an exciting football game on television) that tease the groin, or the unconscious tightening and releasing of your pelvic floor muscles.

Such orgasms for women in particular can catch them by surprise during activities involving pressure and/or vibrations against the vulva, like horseback riding or bike riding. Thigh pressure against a woman’s vulva, especially her clitoris, has been known to unexpectedly hurl her into orgasmic bliss. These extragenital responses occur because an orgasm is a reflexive release of sexual tension that can occur during any number of activities, e.g., sit-ups or deep breathing exercises.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”