When Drew Peterson was brought into court on charges that he murdered his third wife Kathleen Savio, he was in a good mood.  He yelled jokes to reporters about how “spiffy” his red prison jumpsuit was and called his shackles “bling.” 

Peterson is, of course, also a suspect in the 2007 disappearance of Stacy Peterson, his fourth wife.  He insists he is an innocent man.

Think of how you’d respond to being dragged into court on murder charges, especially if you were wrongly accused.  You might be terrified or confused or enraged at the injustice of your plight, but you wouldn’t be all smiles, spewing one-liners.

So how can Drew Peterson do it?

To have any hope of understanding Drew Peterson, one first has to understand human empathy.   Empathy is the ability to resonate with the feelings of others to such an extent that one actually experiences some of their joy or grief or anxiety.  It is a remarkable and inexplicable quality that we too often take for granted.  The fact that a friend can be brought to tears by a loss of yours, that you can intuit and share the worries or hopes or pride of your partner in life, or that the hunger of children thousands of miles away could spur you to action on their behalf is a tribute to this miraculous force.

Empathy does even more, though.  It helps us contain our anger and our destructive impulses, because we can imagine how it might feel to be the object of that rage.  It also helps us gauge what is appropriate language and behavior in various situations, again because we can imagine how others are likely to respond to us.  We can put ourselves in the shoes of our friends or neighbors or loved ones. 

I believe empathy is an essential ingredient in experiencing guilt, as well.  If you can’t imagine the injuries you may have done another person—can’t feel their pain in any measure—then you aren’t likely to worry over any harm you’ve done them.  The absence of empathy is the growing place for antisocial and narcissistic traits that set a person adrift from the interpersonal ties and sense of personal responsibility that bind the rest of us.

Drew Peterson may be largely devoid of empathy.  That’s why he just doesn’t get the fact that lobbing jokes to reporters while being dragged into court on charges he murdered a young woman is bizarre and macabre.  It’s why he believed he’d come across as credible on television during the media tour he orchestrated after the disappearance of Stacy Peterson.  It’s why he probably is confident a jury will acquit him (which, of course, it could).  Peterson may not be able to put himself in the place of others—at all.

One of the most toxic manifestations of having no empathy, of course, is that it leaves those without it free to inflict suffering on others.  There’s no wincing at causing them pain, even death.  In the forest of pure narcissistic and antisocial traits that grow in soil without roots of empathy, only self-preservation and one’s own needs matter.  No one and nothing else really does.

If Drew Peterson killed Kathleen Savio or is responsible for the disappearance of Stacy Peterson or both, he isn’t worried about any of that.  He’s busy with the opportunity to showcase what he believes is his extraordinary charm and intelligence and wit.  And he thinks you and I and every reporter and every judge and every juror will be mesmerized.

Dr. Keith Ablow is a psychiatry correspondent for FOX News Channel and a New York Times bestselling author. His newest book, “Living the Truth: Transform Your Life through the Power of Insight and Honesty” has launched a new self-help movement. Check out Dr. Ablow’s Web site at livingthetruth.com.

Are we done paying for Bernie Madoff’s crimes? Not any time soon. Bernie may get at least 20 years in prison, but it seems we’re going to have to be paying for his lifestyle — although more modest behind bars — for quite some time.

According to some estimates, Bernie is going to cost taxpayers an average of $29,000 a year — and that’s not including any extra perks that his lawyers may negotiate in court.

Things may have changed since the days of Michael Milken spending a few years in “Club Fed” only to be released to his $500 million dollar fortune, but the Bernie Madoff tab is still open.

At a time when 45 million Americans are living without the benefits of health insurance, and reform is the hot topic on everyone’s lips, it’s quite disheartening to know that the only people with a constitutional right to government-funded health care are convicts. And isn’t it ironic that in the midst of an economic crisis, where many Americans are struggling to get by, that we taxpayers are once again footing the bill for those same greedy crooks who got us into this mess?

So the question is: Should Bernie Madoff have to pay for his own imprisonment? And I think the answer is yes. Now I know many of you smart lawyers out there might tell me this is a ridiculous notion, but I can’t help but think ― if I was planning my retirement, what would I want?

Well, I think I would want secluded place to spend my time, three hot meals a day, 24/7 health benefits ― including dental and vision ― and visitors that would come and see me once in a while, but would never stay long enough for me to have to kick them out. Sounds an awful lot like Bernie’s new retirement plan, doesn’t it?

So I guess I better start saving now for my retirement at the age of 70. But I wonder if all the people that he stole from, whose lives he destroyed, are going to be able to see some the benefits that American taxpayers will provide good ol’ Bernie for the rest of his miserable existence.

Dear Mr. Brown:
We have never met.  I don’t presume to know your life story.  If the allegations against you are true, however, and you did brutalize your girlfriend, I do know something very important about you. 

First, you should know a little about me.  I am a forensic psychiatrist who has treated violent men and women and testified as an expert in state and federal courts in cases involving rape, assault and murder.  On more than one occasion, I have testified about the underlying psychological dynamics that resulted in men killing women.  I also wrote the New York Times bestseller Inside the Mind of Scott Peterson.  You would have been just 16 when Peterson was sentenced to death for the murder of his wife Laci and unborn son Conner.  I tell you all this to increase the chances you might actually take what I have to say to heart before you ruin your life and destroy someone else’s. 

Here’s what I know about you, if you are guilty of the charges against you:  You are different from the vast majority of men.  You have been emotionally and physically violent toward a woman, and I believe you’ve done it before.  Men who find themselves in court for assaulting females rarely have the good fortune to be caught—and, hopefully, get help—the first time. 

Psychologically speaking, what you are up against is like psychological cancer—a malignancy that is life threatening and hard to treat.  Just when you think you’ve overcome it, it can overtake you.  It is deep in the marrow of your mind or brain or both.  I don’t like your odds against it—even a little bit.  Defeating it will take an act of will greater than any you have summoned before.

For one reason or another, you lack the empathy or impulse control that would have allowed you to restrain yourself from lashing out when anger surged inside you.  This is no small matter.  Empathy is a miraculous human quality that allows one human being to imagine the suffering of another and seek to minimize it whenever possible (not inflict it).  Impulse control is closely linked to having empathy, but can also depend on parts of the brain—especially the frontal lobes—functioning appropriately.  Impulse control also depends on being sober.  Alcohol or an illicit drug is often the culprit when violence erupts.

If you lack empathy, your character is badly damaged, and it is essential that you figure out how that occurred.  You need to examine which events in your life were so painful that you stopped feeling your own sadness and hurt and tried to keep everything buried inside you.   That doesn’t work.  The things you bury never go away, they get more intense, then spill out of you in ways you can’t predict or control.   Only a skilled therapist can help you look at yourself in the way you need to now, to unearth the emotions you’ll need to in order to have any hope of remaking yourself into the kind of man you deserve to be—a man of character who can form loving relationships, not abusive ones.  And only a psychiatrist can prescribe whatever medicine might be needed in the short or longer-term to help you keep your demons from getting the upper hand again while you wrestle with them.

Character pathology often goes hand-in-hand with alcohol and drug problems.  That’s because alcohol and drugs are another way people try not to feel the turmoil inside them.  But, trust me, it’s a sucker’s game.   Ultimately, booze or coke or heroin only fuel the ugly things inside a person.   If you’re using and think you can stop on your own, think again.  You’re in a war, and you’re losing.  Check yourself into a rehab, if you have to.  Get to AA or NA, if you have to.  Do more than you think you need to.  You’ll underestimate your enemy.  Every alcohol or drug abuser does.

Go see a neurologist, for good measure.  Tell him or her that you need to know if there’s any damage to your brain—maybe from prior head trauma—that could leave you without normal neurological defenses against your underlying anger. 

You’ll mount a vigorous defense in court, of course.   Nobody wants to go to jail.  But don’t defend against the truth you know in your heart of hearts.  Whatever unresolved rage is inside you isn’t under your control, and you’d better get the upper hand over it—and soon.  Someone could end up dead.  You could end up living a life behind bars.  You weren’t born for either tragedy.  You can do better.

One last thing:  Think about your children.  I know you don’t have any today, but you might some day.  Think about the fact that they’ll see your girlfriend’s battered face on the Internet years from now.  They’ll know what people said about you.  Let yourself feel some shame over that.  You’ll want to be able to tell them how much you’ve changed, how it wasn’t easy (because it won’t be), but how they, too, can defeat any ugliness they find inside them, if they don’t try to run away from it.

Turn and face the truth about yourself.  One day, with a lot of hard work, a lot of help and some luck, you could be proud of what you see.   It’s a noble goal—maybe the most noble of all.  Now is the time to embrace it.
 
-Keith Ablow, MD

Dr. Keith Ablow is a psychiatry correspondent for FOX News Channel and a New York Times bestselling author. His newest book, “Living the Truth: Transform Your Life through the Power of Insight and Honesty” has launched a new self-help movement. Check out Dr. Ablow’s website at livingthetruth.com or e-mail him at info@keithablow.com.