Dear Yvonne,
I want to explore more of my sexuality and fulfill some fantasies, but I get nervous about it. How do you overcome that? 
                  —Donna

Dear Donna,
First, educate yourself. Knowledge is power and the more you know about what you plan to explore, the more confident you’ll feel. Books, videos, expert reassurances, and hearing other’s stories can also bolster your sense of assuredness in pursuing your passions.

Second, realize that you need to be patient with yourself. Your nervousness will subside with time, especially as you gain experience and feel savvier with what you’re doing.

Finally, make sure that, when necessary, you’re exploring your sexuality with a person(s) who provide you with physical and emotional safety. You don’t need anybody judging you or adding to the performance pressure you’re putting on yourself.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,
My wife admitted to making out with a girl in high school and she said it turned her on.  She also refuses to fondle herself because it makes her feel like a lesbian.  Am I married to a lesbian?
—Greg

Dear Greg,
Unless your wife is in the closet, you are not married to a lesbian. Many males and females experiment with members of the same sex in their youth because of sexual curiosities, opportunities and desires. It’s part of their sexual learning experience, and may be part of a questioning period for those sorting through their sexual orientation.

By sorting through the significance of this experience for your wife, you could ask her to share what it was about the experience turned her on. The taboo nature of the make out session may have been more of a turn on than the fact that it was with another female or a particular individual. Likewise, you can reassure her that pleasuring oneself doesn’t make you gay or lesbian. If she’s willing, explore why she holds this masturbation fear and what kind of messaging about sex from various sources may be holding her back from fully embracing her sexual nature.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”