Dear Yvonne,
Do you have any recommendations for people who want to wait a while before having sex or who, for moral/religious reasons, want to wait until they are married? Does this limit intimacy? Does this mean you have to date only other people who abstain?
—Heather

Dear Heather,
Outercourse is a term used for pleasuring possibilities that don’t involve vaginal-penile or anal intercourse. Depending on a couple’s definition of abstinence, these behaviors may include:

• Sensual massage
• Mutual masturbation
• Erotic talk, for example, via phone or e-mail
• Strip-teases
• Kissing
• Showering or bathing together
• Sharing sexy fantasies
• Engaging in role plays that don’t involve intercourse
• Dry sex (also known as “dry humping”) 

As far as if these options limit intimacy, it can be argued that in some ways, in a physical sense, yes, they do. But these experiences can be intense, if not orgasmic. As far as true intimacy goes, abstaining does not limit intimacy.  Being intimate with another goes far beyond being physically intertwined. True intimacy is about feeling a deep connection with someone’s heart and soul, and that energy coming back at you. Physical interactions only enhance the feelings of closeness that comes with knowing someone’s private nature. Sex, when it happens, only gets more amazing with it.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,
How important is foreplay for women? Is it something that’s overblown because women, like my lady, want more attention from their guy?
-Unsigned

Dear Unsigned,
How important is foreplay? How high is the sky!?  Foreplay is VERY important for both sexes, but often emphasized among women due to the physiological fact that orgasmic response tends to function on a slower course for gals than guys. Plus, given that the brain is our most powerful sex organ, using a blend of flirtation and suggestion to prep a lady makes an excellent foundation for one’s foreplay efforts. Women can help their partners by thinking sexy thoughts in advance of sensual liaisons to “warm the engine,” especially in instances where heated, lusty quickie sex is indicated. A woman whose body and mind have not been adequately prepped for penetration and release can wind up dry, sore both inside and out, bitter and resentful. 

Honoring a female’s sexual response is vital to a healthy and fulfilling sex life!  That said, there are times when women can go 0-60 in seconds from some titillating material (read: high octane foreplay). This will vary greatly from woman to woman, just as with men, and is worth taking the time to communicate about fantasy and hot topics so you will have adequate tools in your arsenal to turn her on. Lastly, don’t forget to communicate effectively to understand what feels good, what sounds good, and what tastes good to your lady friend, as this will go a long way to a satisfied coupling and your success in the sac.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear  Yvonne,
Occasionally, my lover and I will have an entire hour or two for sex. We don’t feel like making love, though, we feel as if we’re on ‘autopilot.’ How can we keep things spicy and stay connected without feeling robotic or just going through the moves?
- Jude

Dear Jude,
What I’d recommend is taking a couples’ yoga class together as a form of foreplay. This provides a different way of becoming intimate and getting to know your partner’s body. Adjusting each other’s bodies, getting pressed together at times, and seeing each other in a new light, while helping your bodies to unwind and feel good, can heighten the desire to make love.  Exercise is often considered an aphrodisiac.

If this can’t happen in an hour, you can practice your own yoga moves at home as a warm up to greater (spiritual) union. Such an interaction also helps to expand the idea of what sex is about and helps to make it an entire body experience instead of one with a “going through the moves” genital-focus. 

Dr. Yvonne Kristin Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

FOX Sexpert Dr. Yvonne Fulbright maps out the biggest mistakes men make in the sack.  

Whether it’s titillation tactics, misjudging erogenous zones or misguided notions as to what women want, men need to avoid the following bedroom blunders if they want to become great lovers:

1. Thinking that foreplay starts in the sack. The timer for enticing does not start once you hit the sheets. Your pre-game show is best approached as an all day affair. Women love to be wooed. Sex is a head game — in more ways than one — and women want to know you can’t get them out of your mind. We love knowing that we are desired.

To read all 10 mistakes click here.