For months, Becca Beushausen, a 26-year-old woman from Mokena, Ill., was known on her blog only as “B” or “April’s Mom.”  She had become the darling of those who defend the unborn’s right to life by blogging about her commitment to give birth to a child with a rare disorder called holoprosencephaly, a condition that would cause her baby girl to be born with malformations of her brain and face that would ultimately prove fatal. 

Beushausen talked about her Christian faith and devotion to God.  She posted photographs of herself and described her agony and resolve in great detail. 

She hit a nerve.  There was an outpouring of empathy for her.  Hundreds of thousands of readers logged on to her site, many offering the prayers she requested, then sending gifts and donations to the address she posted.

The trouble started when Beushausen posted a photo of the ill-fated baby, which turned out to be a doll made by Reborn Dolls.  That’s when her story started to unravel.  The entire tale, it seemed, was untrue — a terrible hoax that had played upon the sympathies and generosity of spirit of others.  There was no Baby April.  There was no holoprosencephaly.  There was no commitment to bring a damaged child into the world.

Some would say that there is nothing to Becca Beushausen, in fact, other than greed and a failure to recognize the pain people experience when their feelings are manipulated.  Yet I promise you that, with all the lies she has told, there’s still truth in Becca’s blog.

As a psychiatrist, here’s what I read:  A young woman feels disconnected from many things in her life, but not entirely from her suffering, which is very real and which she has little insight into.  Her suffering probably includes having been told some big lies herself, which makes her vulnerable to playing very loose with facts.  It probably also includes traumas that would be hard to look at—as hard as, say, a baby’s malformed face.   These are traumas that call for extraordinary empathy from others.  The evidence of that empathy are not only the prayers offered by strangers, but the gifts sent by them.  Accepting these gifts may seem to be petty theft, but they are the young woman’s way of trying to balance the books on the poverty she feels in her soul and pay herself restitution for things stolen from her as a girl—unspeakable things lost when she was as defenseless as a baby besieged by an all-powerful disease.

The way I read it and see it and will write it here is that Becca Beushausen is herself the ailing, struggling baby she named April.  A disorder that won’t show up on a CT scan or MRI has hold of her, and it has deprived her of breathing easy in life, of living an existence based in truth, of respecting herself and others. 

Becca is due all the empathy that were bestowed upon her and April (but, of course, none of the material gifts).

If you doubt me, just listen to Becca herself, in a recent posting:

“The #1 question I have been asked in the last few days is what would I tell people online who followed my story, who are now upset to find it is not true – The simplest and most honest way that I can answer why I started lying (even prior to opening my blog) and started my blog is that I am struggling with my life.  I have been dealing with unresolved pain that weighs heavy on my heart and which I have been unable to handle alone.”

Send Becca your prayers.  I’m sure she needs them more than ever.  Her website is: http://littleoneapril.blogspot.com/

Dr. Keith Ablow is a psychiatry correspondent for FOX News Channel and a New York Times bestselling author. His newest book, “Living the Truth: Transform Your Life through the Power of Insight and Honesty” has launched a new self-help movement. Check out Dr. Ablow’s Web site at livingthetruth.com.

The holiday season is a stressful time of year, and this year many families are feeling the crunch, making it even harder for those who are limited in their resources for giving gifts to their loved ones. In an attempt to help ease the stress, many writers and bloggers have published articles aimed at helping people by giving them suggestions on everything from books to make-it-yourself holiday baskets.

Yes, I know that gifts are optional. But let’s be real, it doesn’t matter who you are, Christmas means presents — especially for kids. Now most families will try to make sure that they have something for their little ones, but parents will also feel the guilt of not being able to give something to each other.

Now, I thought about this scenario for a while and then told my wife I did not want any presents. Not because of the money, but because I am so sad about some of the current problems we are all facing.

I sat there and reflected on the sad state of affairs this holiday season, when just like in the movie, Moonstruck, she hit me on the side of my head and said, “Snap out of it!”

So then I began to think about the perfect gift for me this Christmas. And that’s when it came to me…the perfect gift for me would be something that would bring me joy, make me feel young, and last for a long, long time. Now I know what you’re thinking — but that’s not exactly what I had in mind. My perfect gift this year would be to reconnect with a long lost friend.

I told my wife that if she wanted to give me a great gift this year, it would be to find my best friend from high school. Now this guy was my buddy, who for all four years was always at my side, and with whom many of my fondest high school memories were shared. But somehow college, medical school, residencies and life in general had separated Joe and me for almost 30 years. Let’s face it — I had forgotten about Joe. But this Christmas season, while thinking about my perfect gift, I remembered him.

Three days later, my wife called me up and said, “I found him and it only cost me $9.95.” She had gone on the Internet and tracked him down through one of the many Web sites, that for a small fee, offer a lifetime of priceless memories. So she got his number and left a message, and for the next few hours, all of my kids waited around with me to see when Joe would call.

Later that evening, Joe called me back and for those 15 minutes of conversation with my old friend, I felt like I was in high school again.

Memories are good, but when you can make those memories a reality, they make you feel the way all holidays should make us feel: Great.

              Dear Yvonne,
Given the state of the economy, I’m already planning ahead for Valentine’s Day, and I want to take advantage of the after-Thanksgiving sales. I was wondering what I could get my girlfriend without breaking the bank. Any ideas would be really appreciated.
                                      -Lance

Dear Lance,
While many advertisements would have you think that expensive gifts, like jewelry, are going to make you her prince for the day, lots of ladies are a bit easier – and easier on your wallet – to please. “Think of me” gifts, with a sexy/romantic note, are one way to win her over without putting yourself in debt. For example, get her a pretty sun catcher to hang in her window with a note stating that you hope she’ll think of you every time she sees it. This will let her know that you want to be on her mind. Framing a picture of the two of you will give her a warm glow in reinforcing her confidence in the relationship. Get something that compliments what you love about her most. For example, if she has amazing locks, get her a pretty clip to pull up her hair, with presentation key, for example, let her know it has greater appeal in allowing you to better nibble on her neck. 

If you want to go for something traditional, give the tried and true gifts, only with a spin. A bouquet of flowers can be professionally preserved so that she’ll always have them around. Chocolates that are homemade from a gourmet store are going to be more appealing than ones from traditional candy makers. 

Remember packaging is a way to make a so-so gift much more special. Just the right wrapping paper and bow – basically presentation – will go a long way and shows that you’ve put a lot of thought into the gift. That’s what’s going to be priceless come V-day. And if a woman ends up giving a guy a hard time because something isn’t expensive or lavish enough, then you may want to rethink why you’re involved with her. Nobody should have to be that hard to please.
Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”