Being a single parent presents the same challenges all parents face but you have two less hands to help. When you are raising a family by yourself you are the one getting lunches ready, giving baths, and driving to and from football practice. You can’t use the good cop/bad cop routine. You don’t ever get a break.  Many single parents work long hours or even work two jobs. You are faced with the financial and time constraints of a two-parent household with one income. Luckily, there are a few simple changes you can make that will help you support your child without adding stress to your already busy life.

Create a “home base”
For your “home base” you will need a calendar, a basket for incoming schoolwork, a spot for backpacks, and space to write. Your home base can be a corner of your kitchen, a side table in your living room, or an office. Announce this spot to your children as the hub of your home and remind them to use it as such. Use a different color pencil for each child’s activities to keep your children’s schedules straight. Encourage your children to keep track of their own activities. Designate a basket where your children can put notices that you need to see and forms you need to sign. Keeping all the forms in one place ensures you don’t miss important information. Keep pencils and pens next to the basket so you can fill out forms immediately and put them right back into your child’s backpack. Your time is valuable, and having a home base keeps you from wasting time searching all over the house for forms, notices, and assignments that need to get sent to school.

Ask for help…and return the favor
Don’t be afraid to ask a neighbor or friend for help. Most moms know that no matter what the circumstance, being a parent requires lots of juggling. Asking a neighbor to drive your child to school in the morning is fine, but be sure to return the favor and drive the kids to the school dance over the weekend. Remember- a simple thank you goes a long way. A bouquet of flowers, a gift card for a coffee shop, or a batch of cookies are inexpensive ways to show you appreciate the support you get and it has not gone unnoticed. A handwritten note to say thanks for the help does the trick, too.

Communicate with the teacher
Let her know what days or times are best for you to meet or to speak on the phone. Give her a time frame in which you intend to return her calls or notes. If you know you work late and don’t always get to her notes right away, let her know she can expect to hear from you within 48 hours. If you have a day off during the week, ask for her consideration when scheduling meetings. Being clear about communication with your child’s school leads to consistent and open interactions.

Prioritize
You can’t be in three places at once so choose the meetings, school events, and games that mean the most to you and your children. Include your children in the process by letting them choose an event they want you to attend. Be honest with your children about why you can’t be at all their events but don’t dwell on it. Refrain from constantly reminding them that you are the only parent helping out- they know this and you should vent to your friends, not your children. When they get home ask specific questions about what happened in the big game or the school play. If you want to volunteer at your child’s school but can’t be there all the time, ask if you can help stuff envelopes or make phone calls and do some of the behind-the-scenes work for events.

Remember that you are one person taking on a huge job and can only do your best each day. Pat yourself on the back for maintaining your children’s safety and security.  Give yourself credit for taking care of all the day-to-day responsibilities by yourself. Enjoy the time you get to spend with your children and stay positive- your children will model your attitude and you can be a happy and productive family together.

Jennifer Cerbasi teaches at a public school for children on the autism spectrum in New Jersey. As a coordinator of Applied Behavioral Analysis programs in the home, she works with parents to create and implement behavioral plans for their children in an environment that fosters both academic and social growth. In addition to her work both in the classroom and at home, she is also a member of the National Association of Special Education Teachers and the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.

With more and more women starting families later in life, and the use of fertility treatments becoming more common, the rate of multiples has risen in the last 20 years. As these pregnancies become more commonplace, doctors, parents, and educators continue to learn more about the health and development of these children.

I had the unique experience of babysitting male triplets from the time they were 5 years old. They are now 16, and still a part of  my life — though I no longer have the task of supervising them. As they grow into young men, they continue to teach me the joys — and stresses — of raising multiples. In addition, I have two friends who had the pleasure of giving birth to triplets. Using my interaction with all three families as a source for inspiration, the tired and proud parents and I created these tips for parents of multiples.

Establish routines.
This is your number one stress-minimizing strategy, and should remain a priority throughout your multiples’ lives. Establishing a routine means you must be prepared. This comes in many forms: Having clothing, bottles and diapers always available is a necessity. Establishing feeding, bedtime and daily routines creates a sense of structure and security for your children, as well as allowing you time to get things done around the house. Without structure, you will quickly feel you are either bathing or feeding your children 24 hours a day.

Ask a friend or family member to document important events.
When you are caring for multiples, your main concern is the children’s primary needs such as food, clothing and sleep. You are less likely to worry about taking pictures of them coming home and documenting all the important “firsts” that parents like to record. Asking a close friend or family member to keep baby books or photo albums will help take the stress off you to organize those cherished memories. When asked if she thought this was a good tip, one mother of multiples said “I wish I thought of that! I barely have any pictures of their early years!”

Bond with each of your children.
This may be tricky, considering you are still working on establishing a routine. Use feeding and bath time as a good opportunity to connect with your children individually. They will no doubt feel a close connection to each other as multiples, but establishing individuality and unique bonds with you and your spouse is equally as important.

Take care of yourself.
A recent study in the April issue of Pediatrics showed that women who give birth to multiples are 43 percent more likely to suffer from postpartum depression than women who give birth to a single child. Talk with your spouse about how you can both stay healthy before and after the babies are born. A friend of mine who has 16-year-old triplets says a woman stopped her in the hallway at her last doctor’s visit before the boys were born. She said “Always feed yourself first.” She went on to explain this meant physically, emotionally and spiritually. “Feeding” yourself is necessary in order to provide for the other members of your family.

Ask for help.
It may mean asking for help establishing breastfeeding routines in the early days or asking family members or friends to help with rides to soccer practice when they are eight. You are going to need help with multiples! Do not be ashamed to say you need a helping hand — your family and friends will most likely understand and be willing to switch your laundry, drop off a meal or listen to your concerns in order to be there for you and your children.

Preparing for and raising multiples is a unique experience, one that only another parent of multiples can truly understand. Look online for local support groups to find guidance from those who have been through this experience before or are living it now. These parents may be able to tell you where the best playgrounds for multiples are in your area. (As one parent of multiple describes: The best playgrounds for multiples are ones that are completely fenced in!) You may establish close friendships with other parents that last a lifetime!

Finding a babysitter or caregiver for multiples can be challenging. If you don’t have family or friends that can help out, you will need to look for someone who is energetic and organized — the two main features of a successful caregiver to multiples. This is also where a support group comes in handy — references are a must!

Your pediatrician or neonatal specialist will be an important source of information and guidance for you. Multiples may have specific health care needs that singletons don’t. Make a list of questions prior to appointments so you don’t forget what you wanted to ask. You may need to bring along an extra friend or family member to document the doctor’s responses, as you will surely have a lot on  your plate, and may not be able to remember everything he or she says.

But the most important thing to remember when raising multiples: You are multiply blessed!

Jennifer Cerbasi teaches at a public school for children on the autism spectrum in New Jersey. As a coordinator of Applied Behavioral Analysis programs in the home, she works with parents to create and implement behavioral plans for their children in an environment that fosters both academic and social growth. In addition to her work both in the classroom and at home, she is also a member of the National Association of Special Education Teachers and the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.

The holidays are a time of “lots.”   Lots of parties, lots of drinking and lots of eating!  On average, people gain around 9 and 11 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Years.  Which makes sense that for many of us, losing weight is on the top of our New Year’s resolution list.

Here are some tips to help you lose that extra poundage and get your body back in shape.

1.  Eat every 3-4 hours.  Eating small portions regularly will help to keep your hunger at bay and your calories in check so you don’t end up overeating. When your blood sugar drops, you end up overeating to compensate for it. Fiber and protein are the two nutrients with the lowest caloric density so you fill up without filling out. Some excellent snacks to keep at the office include fiber-rich crackers with peanut butter, pistachios with dried fruit, string cheese and an apple.

2. Add more fiber to your diet.  Cut out the refined carbs, which have no fiber. Carbs get converted into glucose which gets filled with water – if you’re storing carbs, you’re storing water. High-fiber carbs give you the carb fix without the bloat — added bonus: WEIGHT LOSS. Fiber-rich foods fill you up on just a few calories leading to weight loss without hunger!  Swap out all white flour refined products from your diet and replace them with high-fiber foods such as whole wheat cereals and breads, and rice.

3. Include more fruits and vegetables.  High- fiber options are low in calories and high in antioxidants. Fiber acts as a natural detox. Soup is a great way to fill up on high fiber veggies in the winter. Nothing is more filling and satisfying then a hearty bowl of soup, on your lunch break, or a big salad. Try eating an apple, pear or berries to once again see your hard rock abs. 

4. Add more protein to your diet. Lean proteins such as fish, chicken, and lean cuts of beef, lamb, veal and pork contain 35-55 calories an ounce. Fill your plate with at least 3-5 ounces of protein at lunch and dinner with a side of fiber-rich vegetables.  Who wouldn’t want to sit down to a succulent steak??

5. Eat foods that boost metabolism.  Many foods help increase metabolism, so make sure to incorporate them into your diet. The best metabolism-boosting foods include low-fat dairy, berries, high-fiber cereals, green tea, hot peppers, soy beans, citrus fruits, cold-water fish like salmon, tuna and sardines. Spicy foods are also a great way to add flavor to your foods without adding salt. By increasing your body temperature and heart rate, the amount of calories your body is burning will be instantly increased. Ask your wife to add extra spice to your favorite homemade dishes!

6. Drink eight glasses of water.  People often mistake thirst for hunger. Water fills you up so you tend to eat less. When you don’t drink enough water, your body gets dehydrated. Not only does water help to flush out the toxins in your body, but drinking water hydrates you, preventing your skin from drying out. 

7. Exercise.  Muscle burns more calories than fat.  Added muscle can help to burn that eggnog belly you earned celebrating the holiday season.  Try increasing the pounds you lift and/or increasing your reps, to see results.
 
Tanya Zuckerbrot, MS, RD is a nutritionist and founder of Skinnyandthecity.com.    She is also the creator of The F-Factor Diet™, an innovative nutritional program she has used for more than ten years to provide hundreds of her clients with all the tools they need to achieve easy weight loss and maintenance, improved health and well-being.  For more information log onto www.FFactorDiet.com.