FOX Health

Posts Tagged ‘Jon & Kate Plus 8’

Jon & Kate’s 8 Need Legal Guardians

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
ablow052710Jon and Kate Gosselin are splitting up — for real, as in, getting divorced.  Well, not exactly “for real.”  They’re divorcing one another in their hit reality TV series on the TLC network, parenting their eight kids separately from now on, while rotating in and out of their home (which also serves as the studio set for the show).
 
I think TLC airs some very good programming.  This show isn’t part of that lineup.
 
Jon and Kate’s troubles are entertaining, but hardly evocative.  I doubt that any psychologically healthy person in America is worrying a whole lot over whether Kate lands on her feet or Jon finds true love.  In this Truman Show version of life, there’s less chance of sparking real empathy than there is in a decent movie.  That’s because movies depict true-life scenarios without pretending to be true life. There isn’t a grand lie at the center of the creative enterprise, a false notion that the viewer is peeking through the window of a normal house into normal lives.
 
Without showcasing their relationship for profit, Jon and Kate might have been done with their marriage a long time ago.  Then again, without having caved into a desire for fame and fortune, at the expense of their genuine feelings, they might have celebrated a 25th wedding anniversary some day.  There’s just no way to edit out the presence of a camera and production crew chronicling your existence.  They inevitably turn your conflicts and joys into entertainment events designed in part for ratings.
 
That’s why Jon and Kate aren’t just a bad idea for one another, they also shouldn’t be raising children.  Hijacking your sons’ and daughters’ lives and casting them as a ready-for-TV versions of themselves while “playing” their parents is a new form of child neglect or abuse. It’s bad enough when stage mothers and fathers commandeer their kids’ existences to fulfill their own narcissistic desires to be stars.  Turning life into a stage is even worse. If nothing else, at least there’s a videotaped record of the psychological assault on these children for them to refer back to with their psychiatrists later in life.
 
Here’s the real reality:  The eight kids need a guardian ad litem — a substitute parent appointed by the courts — to assess them and protect them from psychological harm.  Now is the perfect moment for the state to insist on it, in the context of a divorce that won’t be simple and amicable, unless that kind of split seems like it would “rate” better than a knock-down, drag-out fight.
Dr. Keith Ablow is a psychiatry correspondent for FOX News Channel and a New York Times bestselling author. His newest book, “Living the Truth: Transform Your Life through the Power of Insight and Honesty” has launched a new self-help movement. Check out Dr. Ablow’s Web site at livingthetruth.com.
 

 

 

 

TheTrouble With Jon & Kate

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009

ablow052710Millions of Americans watch the hit reality TV series “Jon & Kate Plus 8” on TLC. 

They are now following Katie Irene Gosselin and Jonathan Keith Gosselin into a fifth season of parenting their eight children — fraternal twin girls and a set of fraternal sextuplets.

The show is taped in the Gosselin home — the “set” includes permanent light fixtures.

Lately, the drama has focused on whether Jon did or did not cheat on Kate with either of two women spotted with him over Memorial Day weekend and, more recently, at a mall.  He insists the women are the wife and daughter of plastic surgeon Dr. Larry Glassman who performed Kate’s tummy tuck surgery.

I don’t really care whether Jon has been faithful to Kate or not.  My question about him and his wife is about how they can justify turning  their kids’ lives into entertainment, with unknown, possibly severe, psychological fallout.

No one knows the precise psychological impact of having parents who are “acting” like parents for the cameras or having producers around who are hoping for high drama, but the impact could be significant and negative.  Life has to stay interesting to keep viewers around, after all. Decisions about how to handle family crises, including the question of whether to stay a couple at all, might well be colored by  worries about how it all will play out on TV.

Kate Gosselin recently went on a vacation with her eight kids to North Carolina. They were accompanied by body guards and camera crews.

This is like having a stage mother (and father) on steroids.  Because in this case, she’s on stage, too.  How does one of the children decide to drop out of the series?  If he or she did, would that child risk losing parental attention and love?  Who has the moral right to decide that another human being’s life story will be played for television audiences?

Movie stars and politicians often have enough good sense to understand — as good parents — that they need to protect their children from the glare of bright lights and media exposure.  They understand that their own notoriety shouldn’t be a ball-and-chain for their kids.  They don’t want their sons and daughters defined by them.  They want them to have their own lives — for real.

I hope that each and every one of the Gosselin children grows up to be happy and healthy. But if they should end up depressed or on drugs, I hope they find therapists who will explore whether part of their pain is a feeling that their lives were stolen from them, whether they were put on display like zoo animals under glass, all for fame and profit.

Dr. Keith Ablow is a psychiatry correspondent for FOX News Channel and a New York Times bestselling author. His newest book, “Living the Truth: Transform Your Life through the Power of Insight and Honesty” has launched a new self-help movement. Check out Dr. Ablow’s Web site at livingthetruth.com.

Close
E-mail It