Dear Yvonne,
My wife admitted to making out with a girl in high school and she said it turned her on.  She also refuses to fondle herself because it makes her feel like a lesbian.  Am I married to a lesbian?
—Greg

Dear Greg,
Unless your wife is in the closet, you are not married to a lesbian. Many males and females experiment with members of the same sex in their youth because of sexual curiosities, opportunities and desires. It’s part of their sexual learning experience, and may be part of a questioning period for those sorting through their sexual orientation.

By sorting through the significance of this experience for your wife, you could ask her to share what it was about the experience turned her on. The taboo nature of the make out session may have been more of a turn on than the fact that it was with another female or a particular individual. Likewise, you can reassure her that pleasuring oneself doesn’t make you gay or lesbian. If she’s willing, explore why she holds this masturbation fear and what kind of messaging about sex from various sources may be holding her back from fully embracing her sexual nature.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,
My partner is very active in local gay and lesbian advocacy groups, and it makes me uncomfortable since I’m trying to keep my sexual orientation on the down-low for various reasons. How can I deal with my feelings without trying to force my lover to give up his activities?
—Cain

Dear Cain,
This is something you need to work out on your own. Your partner shouldn’t be forced to give up any activities, and shouldn’t be made to feel responsible for your feelings — which include decisions you have already made for yourself because of your own comfort level.

To get to a better place emotionally, seek out holistic activities that allow you to get in touch with yourself, like yoga and meditation. Pursue outlets to express yourself and get to the heart of matter — maybe try writing in a journal. If necessary, consider talking to a counselor about why you’re having problems coming out, and what you can do to get to a better, more accepting place. This discomfort is your problem, and one only you can address with yourself.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Guadalupe Benitez claims that after being treated with fertility drugs for nearly a year, her Christian doctors refused to inseminate her because she is a lesbian.

She sued and a San Diego County trial judge sided with her. But an appeals court reversed the ruling, and her lawsuit is scheduled to be heard by the California Supreme Court this week.

The case is closely being watched by civil rights and physician groups who think it could have consequences for other medical procedures, including abortion and end-of-life decisions.