David Carradine’s naked body was found hanging in a Bangkok, Thailand hotel room last Thursday morning, setting in motion a debate about whether the star of the feature film “Kill Bill” and the long-running television series “Kung Fu” (1972-1975) committed suicide, accidently died while attempting to stimulate himself through autoerotic asphyxia or was murdered.

While that debate rages on, a Thai newspaper called Thai Rath has published forensic photos of Carradine’s naked corpse.  His ex-wife Marina Anderson has also seen fit to tell the New York Post of Carradine’s “deviant sexual behavior.”

Here we are at the flipside of losing our inner selves to YouTube and Facebook and Twitter.  Too many of us suddenly all think we’re celebrities, but we also think that real celebrities are inhuman, celluloid creatures without the right to the privacy or decency befitting other human beings.  Some in society actually seem to think that the fact that actors make a living by … well … acting means that they have sold their souls to us and that we can devour them like movie popcorn.  That’s why the paparazzi thinks they have license to stalk stars as though they are alien creatures or zoo animals on the loose.  And it’s why we feel free to peek through windows into David Carradine’s most private acts and final moments. 

David Carradine was a person, before he was ever an actor.  What he signed up for was to share his gift and his craft with those who might enjoy it.  I’m one of those people.  Kung Fu was part of my childhood.  Something about Carradine’s quiet intensity, combined with the idea that he could not leave his training at the monastery until he could focus enough to snatch a pebble from his teacher’s open hand, got my attention and stayed with me all this time. 

But the fact that I was a young fan of Carradine doesn’t make me think I have the inherent right to look at naked photos of his dead body or get the inside scoop from his disgruntled ex-wife about what he liked to do in bed.  It would make me feel like a trespasser in his private life.  It would make me worry about doing harm to those who loved Carradine, in real life. 

That’s the trouble, though.  We don’t think of actors as real, anymore.  We don’t think of politicians as genuine, anymore.  We don’t think of sports stars as dedicated athletes, anymore.  We don’t think of the economy as a miraculous engine that runs only on the truth, anymore.  Because, in the end, too many of us don’t think enough of our real selves, anymore.

Dr. Keith Ablow is a psychiatry correspondent for FOX News Channel and a New York Times bestselling author. His newest book, “Living the Truth: Transform Your Life through the Power of Insight and Honesty” has launched a new self-help movement. Check out Dr. Ablow’s Web site at livingthetruth.com.

Dear Yvonne,
My wife admitted to making out with a girl in high school and she said it turned her on.  She also refuses to fondle herself because it makes her feel like a lesbian.  Am I married to a lesbian?
—Greg

Dear Greg,
Unless your wife is in the closet, you are not married to a lesbian. Many males and females experiment with members of the same sex in their youth because of sexual curiosities, opportunities and desires. It’s part of their sexual learning experience, and may be part of a questioning period for those sorting through their sexual orientation.

By sorting through the significance of this experience for your wife, you could ask her to share what it was about the experience turned her on. The taboo nature of the make out session may have been more of a turn on than the fact that it was with another female or a particular individual. Likewise, you can reassure her that pleasuring oneself doesn’t make you gay or lesbian. If she’s willing, explore why she holds this masturbation fear and what kind of messaging about sex from various sources may be holding her back from fully embracing her sexual nature.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,
I masturbate daily. Will this affect my sperm count in any way?
—Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,
Self-pleasuring to the point of emission on a daily basis does not reduce your sperm count. Research actually indicates that it may, in fact, increase a man’s virility. In producing ejaculation, a male’s testes produce and store sperm continuously from the time he hits puberty.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,
My wife has several sex toys, some of which we both enjoy. However, she does have a few in the phallus department that are somewhat large. I am concerned these will stretch her vagina out and her sensitivity to me will diminish. She says she will shrink back to a smaller size. What are your thoughts?
—Jeff

Dear Jeff,
Given that a female’s vaginal canal can stretch to handle a baby, you really don’t have much to worry about. Whether she’s planning to give birth or use a large object when self-pleasuring, a woman can maintain her pelvic musculature and sensitivity by practicing Kegel exercises. Learning to properly flex her pubbococcygeus (PC) muscle, a.k.a. pelvic floor muscles, a woman can have a “fit” vagina, which allows her to better grip phalluses of all sizes for more amazing sensations — for both of you!

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,
Do you have any recommendations for people who want to wait a while before having sex or who, for moral/religious reasons, want to wait until they are married? Does this limit intimacy? Does this mean you have to date only other people who abstain?
—Heather

Dear Heather,
Outercourse is a term used for pleasuring possibilities that don’t involve vaginal-penile or anal intercourse. Depending on a couple’s definition of abstinence, these behaviors may include:

• Sensual massage
• Mutual masturbation
• Erotic talk, for example, via phone or e-mail
• Strip-teases
• Kissing
• Showering or bathing together
• Sharing sexy fantasies
• Engaging in role plays that don’t involve intercourse
• Dry sex (also known as “dry humping”) 

As far as if these options limit intimacy, it can be argued that in some ways, in a physical sense, yes, they do. But these experiences can be intense, if not orgasmic. As far as true intimacy goes, abstaining does not limit intimacy.  Being intimate with another goes far beyond being physically intertwined. True intimacy is about feeling a deep connection with someone’s heart and soul, and that energy coming back at you. Physical interactions only enhance the feelings of closeness that comes with knowing someone’s private nature. Sex, when it happens, only gets more amazing with it.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,
What causes “blue balls”? And can it do any damage not to get sexual relief?
- Mathieu

Dear Mathieu, 
Both males and females experience “blue balls,” a more common term for vasocongestion. Vasocongestion is the accumulation of blood in the blood vessels of a region of the body, especially the genitals. While vasocongestion can be uncomfortable and frustrating if one does not experience sexual release when sexually aroused, it’s not going to harm anyone’s health. If sexually frustrated from “blue balls,” one can always take matters into their own hands (wink, wink).

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”