Dear Yvonne,
I’m living with a boyfriend for the first time and we’re into dividing chores equally. I was wondering if you think that sorting dirty laundry with a significant other can begin to breakdown passionate feelings of excitement? Would you suggest keeping your intimate items like dirty underwear from the other to help prevent that?
—Cherlynn

Dear Cherlynn,
Seeing the other’s unsightly laundry is going to happen at some point. In the past, it has typically been the woman who has had to deal with dirty laundry, killing her passion first. One way to look at this: Gender equality. So increasing other efforts to maintain eroticism can be more of a team effort. Also, some people can actually get aroused by washing the sheets, for example, finding stains from the last time they had sex, or still being able to smell the other’s scent on their clothes. Plus, doing things together builds bonding.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Yvonne,
I am a newlywed of four months. My problem: Before my husband and I got married, we had sex all the time! But since we got married, it hasn’t been the same. I still feel sexually attracted to him. We’re both 21, and before we got married, it was hard for us to see each other because our families didn’t approve of the relationship. Has the sex changed because there’s no longer the excitement of getting caught? 
— Alyyah 

Dear Alyyah,
What you are describing is a classic “Romeo & Juliet” syndrome, where half of the excitement of being sexually intimate was the disapproval. Doing the forbidden things made the relationship more passionate since the need to overcome obstacles intensified your feelings. Lovers in these situations often have this mentality: “Don’t they realize that more obstacles make us all the more passionate?” As with any taboo sexual relationship, for example, an affair — the excitement wears off after a while.

Just because this type of passion is waning in your relationship, doesn’t mean the exciting phase of starting your lives together has to be passionless. Seek novel ways to have sex and to be intimate. Changing the focus of sex to one of being an entirely new adventure is sure to keep things heated.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”