Dear Yvonne,
My wife has several sex toys, some of which we both enjoy. However, she does have a few in the phallus department that are somewhat large. I am concerned these will stretch her vagina out and her sensitivity to me will diminish. She says she will shrink back to a smaller size. What are your thoughts?
—Jeff

Dear Jeff,
Given that a female’s vaginal canal can stretch to handle a baby, you really don’t have much to worry about. Whether she’s planning to give birth or use a large object when self-pleasuring, a woman can maintain her pelvic musculature and sensitivity by practicing Kegel exercises. Learning to properly flex her pubbococcygeus (PC) muscle, a.k.a. pelvic floor muscles, a woman can have a “fit” vagina, which allows her to better grip phalluses of all sizes for more amazing sensations — for both of you!

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Dear Dr. Yvonne,
Sometimes when I’m doing random, nonsexual things like watching the news, I’ll have a feeling in my groin that’s like having an orgasm, even though I’m not touching myself or doing anything to get turned on. What’s this about?
Tonya

Spontaneous orgasm is when a person has an unanticipated climactic response without genital contact, or at least any that she is consciously aware of. Such an effortless indulgence of genital sensations may be a physical response to things like the fabric from wedgy-style, tight shorts rubbing up against your genitals, or rocking movements (maybe as you’re watching an exciting football game on television) that tease the groin, or the unconscious tightening and releasing of your pelvic floor muscles.

Such orgasms for women in particular can catch them by surprise during activities involving pressure and/or vibrations against the vulva, like horseback riding or bike riding. Thigh pressure against a woman’s vulva, especially her clitoris, has been known to unexpectedly hurl her into orgasmic bliss. These extragenital responses occur because an orgasm is a reflexive release of sexual tension that can occur during any number of activities, e.g., sit-ups or deep breathing exercises.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”