The key to balancing school and social life seems to be the Holy Grail of parenthood. Parents often cite a conflict between each. Put your child in too many activities, and see a decline in academic performance. Focus solely on academics, and you sacrifice a well-rounded child. With colleges looking at factors beyond a solid grade point average, parents have been working to support a child with a strong academic background as well as other skills and talents. Balancing school and a social life is one key to supporting such a child without having to forgo one for the other.

Sleep!
This is easier said than done. Keep in mind that you and your child can only accomplish so much in one day. Be proud of all that you did in a day and get your family to bed at an early time. You know how much sleep your child needs to operate at his best. Also remember that the more tired your child is, the harder it is for him to concentrate. Assignments will take longer to complete the later he stays up. It may be to his benefit to go to bed at his normal time and get up a few minutes early to complete his assignment. A good night’s sleep should never be sacrificed.

Stick to the routine…then change it
Many families establish routines in the beginning of the school year with the good intentions of maintaining them through June. The key to establishing successful routines is to recognize when your families’ needs have changed and when the routine needs to change. Stop banging your head against the wall if the schedule is not working. For example, Dad may have helped with homework but now is going to run the carpool to soccer because he gets home later from work. Changing your routine doesn’t mean you have failed- it means you are in tune with how best to manage your family. Make sure that you have a family meeting to notify everyone of the changes and to troubleshoot any possible conflicts. Also, be sure not to change routines too often. Your children will get confused with frequent changes, which defeats the purpose of having a routine.

First work, then play
Staying on top of long term projects and upcoming tests will help you and your child structure his time. Getting work done early allows free time at the end of the week. Sometimes doing work at the last minute makes us feel busier than we actually are. Working on a long-term assignment for even 10 minutes a day is better than leaving it until Sunday, when you should be spending quality time with your family. Set a goal for your child in regards to homework and studying. Tell him if he finished a certain percentage or piece of his assignment he can have a playdate or sleepover on the weekend. Help him make the correlation between “First work, then play.” This will benefit him now as a student and later as an adult.

Schedule unscheduled time!
Set aside time where you have absolutely nothing scheduled! This doesn’t mean you have to stay home. It could mean that you wake up every Sunday morning and see what your family is in the mood to do that day. Leaving free time is so important for your family- emotionally and physically. Children have lots of energy and you may worry about hearing “I’m bored” but everyone needs some time to just relax. This is very important as your child becomes more involved in extra-curricular activities and sports.

You may set boundaries for your family but other parents can ambush your plans. Most parents have been caught off guard when a child’s friend asks for a sleepover. Your child inevitably begs and pleads and promises to get up on time for softball practice the next day. Sometimes being proactive and setting an example will let people know what you are comfortable with. For example, if your child asks for a friend to come over for a playdate, approach the parent alone. Say “Kate is going to ask Danielle if she wants to come over tomorrow. I wanted to give you a heads up- I know I don’t like surprises!” If you are comfortable speaking directly to the parent, let them know that you would appreciate a call ahead of time so that you can check your schedule and work something out. It is also perfectly acceptable for your child to hear “No” sometimes so if you feel a sleepover will wreak havoc on your weekend plans, be confident in scheduling it for another time. Be prepared for the whining and protesting that may ensue and stick to your decision!

Don’t feel bad about saying “Next time” to friends and family. You know when your family has reached its max and absolutely cannot survive another birthday party, movie night, or barbeque.

Pay attention to your child’s signs of stress. Some children become withdrawn while others become irritable. Make sure you keep an eye for your child’s signs and act accordingly. You may need to cancel an event or just schedule a fun activity to balance out others. The key to balancing school and social life is being flexible and always keeping your child’s physical and emotional health as the top proiority.

Jennifer Cerbasi teaches at a public school for children on the autism spectrum in New Jersey. As a coordinator of Applied Behavioral Analysis programs in the home, she works with parents to create and implement behavioral plans for their children in an environment that fosters both academic and social growth. In addition to her work both in the classroom and at home, she is also a member of the National Association of Special Education Teachers and the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.

For many parents across the country, this fall will be their first time sending a child to school. Early childhood education has evolved, and educators and researchers are looking at this first introduction to formalized education as a crucial time for students.

There is more direct instruction in math, reading and writing, with schools utilizing a detailed curriculum to address skills. Story time now accompanies formal reading instruction. In some schools, play time may now even accompany formal social skills lessons. Although September seems far away, now is the time to start preparing your child for his or her first school experience.

Here are some simple and fun ways to get your child ready for preschool and kindergarten:

Preschool

Reading
Read to your child every day. Exposing your child to a variety of age-appropriate books will foster a natural love of reading and curiosity about words. Don’t worry about teaching phonics or decoding skills — the ABC song will suffice for now. Children will often ask what a word or sentence says. Feel free to tell him, but do not press him to repeat or try to sound out words. Keep in mind that at this age your child should have a natural excitement about words and should not feel he is being “tested’ when enjoying a good book!  

Teach your child to recognize her name. You can make a special sign for her bedroom door or write her name in the cover of her books. Learning names and common words (such as store names) is a first step in recognizing and pronouncing letters and sounds.

Math
Count objects while playing with your child. Use his blocks, books, or other toys and model one-to-one correspondence. Counting “one, two, three blocks!” naturally introduces this important math skill to your child.

Expose your child to basic shapes. When reading or watching a TV show, point out circles, squares, or triangles. Many TV shows targeting the preschool-age child highlight these shapes as well as rectangles, hearts, and diamonds. It is very easy to find these shapes in the environment and you can create a scavenger hunt with your child to locate these common shapes in the environment.

Social Skills
Schedule play dates or spend time playing at the park. Sharing, turn-taking, and waiting are all skills your child will need to enjoy a positive social experience in preschool and may be practiced when engaging with peers.

Develop a daily schedule and stick with it. Keep in mind your soon-to-be preschooler likely needs 10-12 hours of sleep a night, so get him to bed on time at night. Wake him in the morning, have breakfast, and get dressed even if you are not planning to leave the house right away. These morning activities are clear ways to signify the start of the day for your child.

Check with your child’s preschool in regards to its rules on potty training Many schools require children to be potty-trained before starting in September. If your child is not yet fully trained, you have plenty of time this summer to work on it!

Kindergarten

Reading
Help your child practice writing his name, especially if he has shown an interest in it. Have him write the first letter then you can write the other letters. You can also write his name first then have him trace it. Keep in mind constant practice or repetitions may discourage your child and frustrate him, ultimately delaying his acquisition of this skill. Make it fun and only practice if your child shows interest.

Point out words that start with the letter of her first name. Although she may not be aware of it, she knows the sound that letter makes and it will be easier for her to associate items with a sound she already knows. Say “Grace, do you want grapes for snack? Grapes sounds like Grace!” See if your child can think of another word that starts with the same sound. If she has trouble, provide an example so she does not get discouraged and the game continues to be fun!

Math
Ask your child to retrieve various quantities of items for you. Have him help you set the table for dinner and ask “Please get four napkins.” This is a fun and easy way to practice counting, a skill that will be targeted throughout Kindergarten.

Model sorting items for your child then ask her to practice. While playing, say “I’m putting all the cows over here and the pigs over here.” Then ask your child to put all the chickens together, and so on. Grouping or sorting is an important pre-math skill for your child to attain.

Social Skills
Maintain a schedule. If your child just finished preschool, he is likely used to a routine that involves getting up in the morning and getting ready for school. Maintain a similar schedule this summer so back-to-school time doesn’t involve early morning chaos!

Give your child orally-presented directions. For example, tell your child “Get the blue block and give it to Daddy.” Having your child follow one and two step directions prepares her to process language as well as comply with known instructions, skills necessary for kindergarten.

When playing with peers or siblings, ensure your child is taking turns with toys and games. Your child could be in a class of 20 children come September and will have to take turns with materials and toys every day. Preparing him to wait will make it easier for him in his class in the fall.

The most important thing you can do to prepare your child for school is to make learning a fun and natural family activity. Drills and repetitious practice of skills at this age may develop stress and fear of school in your child. Introducing simple math, reading, and social skills to your child will get him started on the path to success!

Jennifer Cerbasi teaches at a public school for children on the autism spectrum in New Jersey. As a coordinator of Applied Behavioral Analysis programs in the home, she works with parents to create and implement behavioral plans for their children in an environment that fosters both academic and social growth. In addition to her work both in the classroom and at home, she is also a member of the National Association of Special Education Teachers and the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.