There are key players in your child’s educational experience. The teacher, the principal, and you all have clearly defined roles in your child’s emotional, cognitive, and physical growth. There is, however, an often under-used player in schools across America; someone who is ready and willing to help. Each school has a guidance counselor, an important figure in the school but one that is often overlooked. The guidance counselor has a variety of “hats” to wear and can assist you and your child in many ways.

Scheduling
High school guidance counselors often aid in the creation of class schedules. Your child may want to meet with his guidance counselor to discuss his schedule for next year. Although most core classes are pre-determined based on state graduation requirements, your child may have elective classes to choose from and having the guidance counselor discuss his options helps him choose the right one.

School-wide campaigns
Schools have begun adapting specific curriculum or programs targeting bullying, drug or alcohol use, and healthy lifestyles among children. The guidance counselor is often the point person implementing these programs and training other school personnel to respond to situations regarding these issues. Reach out to the counselor for more information or for pointers on how to discuss these important topics with your children. Should your child be affected by any of these issues, you can use the counselor as a mediator or support for your family.

Individual counseling
Guidance counselors are often wearing their “other hats” so don’t forget their area of expertise. Your child may be having a hard time transitioning to a new school, establishing a positive relationship with a new teacher, or navigating a difficult friendship. Each of these situations may warrant a chat with the school counselor. Introduce yourself and your child to the counselor at the beginning of the school year so you have an established relationship.

References
School guidance counselors often have experience beyond the school and a network of professionals to reach out to. If you feel your child needs help beyond the parameters of school, ask for a reference from the guidance counselor. Your child may need to speak with a professional whose experience is in a specific area, such as childhood depression or eating disorders. You may also feel your child may need more extensive counseling that will require time beyond the school day.

These are just some ways the school guidance counselor can help your child. Don’t be afraid to reach out to the counselor and ask for assistance in other areas or ask her to direct you to the appropriate person. With all their roles in school, counselors are exceptional resources for you and your family.

Jennifer Cerbasi teaches at a public school for children on the autism spectrum in New Jersey. As a coordinator of Applied Behavioral Analysis programs in the home, she works with parents to create and implement behavioral plans for their children in an environment that fosters both academic and social growth. In addition to her work both in the classroom and at home, she is also a member of the National Association of Special Education Teachers and the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.

Teachers, like most people, have a reputation in your community. This teacher is “the nice one” and that teacher is “the structured one.” Depending on your child’s personality, talents and challenges, you decide that your child absolutely must have “this teacher” in order to be successful.  When your child gets assigned to “that teacher’s” class, you fret and worry about how he or she will ever survive the year. Parent-teacher conferences role around at the end of October, and you are now sitting face to face with the person who will lead your child on this leg of her educational marathon. 

The most important thing to remember when going into your child’s conference is to suspend your preconceived notions and go to the meeting with an open mind. You may see a different side to the teacher or find that he or she is not  “the mean one” after all.  Listen to what she has to say and be receptive to her educational opinion on your child’s class work.

In addition to coming into the meeting with an open mind, here are some other tips for having a productive parent teacher conference this fall.

Prepare questions
Come prepared with specific questions. Make a list and leave space to take notes on the teacher’s response.  Keep in mind that most conferences have a time limit- typically about ten minutes- so narrow down your list to the most important three or four questions. It is better to spend time discussing three or four questions in depth than to rush through ten questions.

Stay on topic
The upcoming 3rd grade holiday party may pop into your head while speaking with the teacher but this is not the time to talk about it. Make a column on your notes for “Questions for Tomorrow.” Write a note or an email to the teacher with that list of questions the next day. Start the email thanking her for the conference and let her know you didn’t want to waste valuable conference time on “housekeeping” issues.

Only talk about your child
Now is not the time to clear the air about playground quarrels or disagreements between the class mothers. It is simply inappropriate to discuss your child’s classmates with the teacher.  The teacher does not want to referee or be involved in any way with these types of discussions. Putting her in that position will leave her feeling uncomfortable and the more you bash others when speaking with the teacher, the less she will want to communicate with you.

Ask for homework
Ask the teacher for one or two things that you can spend time working on at home.  Every student has a skill or an area that could use some extra reinforcement.  Teaches know that you don’t have a degree in education so be comfortable asking for specific ways you can support your child at home. Ask for strategies or techniques to use and follow up in a few weeks to let her know how it’s going.

Save your marital problems for a counselor
Do not let your personal relationship issues rear their ugly head during the conference.  It is not uncommon for spouses to disagree on parenting techniques, but now is not the time to discuss your differences. Be careful not to let “I agree with you but he doesn’t think so” slip out either. You must maintain your composure during conferences, even if you and your spouse are in the midst of an argument. Many teachers have been put in the middle of disagreements between spouses and it makes for an awkward situation. Remember, this is your child’s teacher and she has no place mediating for you and your spouse.

Parents are usually eager to have the teacher’s attention during conferences and teachers look forward to the opportunity to keep parents informed about their child’s progress. If you feel your conversation needs to go beyond the brief conference, ask the teacher for a follow up meeting or phone conference later in the week.

Remember to keep an open mind when meeting your child’s teacher. Some of the most amazing educators feel a lot of pressure during conferences and therefore have trouble sharing their knowledge and insight with parents in this format. Do not interrupt the teacher or finish her thoughts. Let her get her point across and then respond.

Always thank the teacher for her time and her work, even if you disagree with her opinions or techniques. “Thank you for your time” shows that you respect her position and are willing to have a positive relationship that will ultimately benefit your child.

Jennifer Cerbasi teaches at a public school for children on the autism spectrum in New Jersey. As a coordinator of Applied Behavioral Analysis programs in the home, she works with parents to create and implement behavioral plans for their children in an environment that fosters both academic and social growth. In addition to her work both in the classroom and at home, she is also a member of the National Association of Special Education Teachers and the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.

Most adults remember being bullied or witnessing bullying during their school days. Most current students cite the same experience, but how bullying is being handled has changed.

Bullying has become a top priority for schools across the country, and many are working hard to prevent it. Bullying is the repeated imposition of power from one child to another and can include verbal threats or insults, physical threats or abuse, or non-verbal threats or abuse, such as spreading rumors about another child. It’s important to know that this can take place in person or via the internet, such as through social networking sites. 

Boys and girls typically bully differently. Boys typically resort to more physical methods, while girls typically utilize verbal strategies, although it is not uncommon for each group to use other approaches. Signs your child is being bullied include becoming quiet or withdrawn, frequent trips to the nurse’s office, refusal to go to school, and withdrawal from previously enjoyed activities, such as teams or social groups. Acting out is not typically associated with children who are being bullied. As a parent, knowing your child is being targeted is one of the most painful and difficult things you can encounter.

Here are some tips to help guide your child through this complicated time:

Be supportive.
Listen to your child as he shares his experience and feelings about being bullied. Praise him for speaking about the situation, especially if he was brave enough to approach you without prompting. Children who are bullied are often afraid to report their situations for fear of retribution for “tattling.” By opening up, he has begun the process of ending the bullying and should be reinforced for doing so.

Build confidence.
Find activities that build your child’s confidence and occupy her time. Individual sports, such as karate or swimming, may be best to start with as your child may worry about becoming a part of a team and opening herself to more uncomfortable social situations.

Contact your child’s school.
Even if the bullying has not taken place on school grounds, it is important that staff is aware of the relationship between your child and the person or people who are intimidating him. Many schools have videos or books on bullying that they can share with you and your child. You can also establish a safe place for your child to go if he feels he is being threatened, such as the principal’s office or the guidance counselor’s office.

Use the buddy system.
Encourage your child to seek one or two safe friends at school and stick with them, especially during times bullying is most likely to occur, such as recess and traveling to and from school. Establish relationships with the parents of your child’s friends and make them aware of the situation.  If bullying typically occurs during the trips to and from school, drive your child or ask a neighbor or friend to do so. Although this step alone may not end the bullying, it provides your child with a bit more security and safety.

Stay involved.
Have access to your children’s email and social networking accounts so you can monitor their activity. Your child could be bullied while sitting right in your living room. Knowing your child’s circle of friends will also help you monitor appropriate or inappropriate relationships, and will help you keep track of friendships that are deteriorating. You can broach the subject by saying “I notice you are not hanging out with (name) much anymore. Why is that?”  If your child does not give you a direct reason, there may be more to the story.

Many professionals frown upon advising children to ignore the bullying, as it sends the message that adults will ignore it too. If you are still unsure of what to say to your child and feel you need more extensive support, seek the help of a health care professional, such as a psychologist or social worker.

Bullying is not just “kids being kids.” It is hurtful, unhealthy, and has the potential to cause long-term emotional and physical damage. Being informed and involved may save your child from this painful situation.

Jennifer Cerbasi teaches at a public school for children on the autism spectrum in New Jersey. As a coordinator of Applied Behavioral Analysis programs in the home, she works with parents to create and implement behavioral plans for their children in an environment that fosters both academic and social growth. In addition to her work both in the classroom and at home, she is also a member of the National Association of Special Education Teachers and the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.

Many parents across the country are looking to support their child’s educational experience in any way they can. Often times, this means hiring a tutor to work one-on-one with your child. There are many reasons for seeking educational support outside the regular school day. Your child may be having a difficult time in one subject area or he could be struggling in all subject areas across the board. Your child may learn best from a specialized means of instruction, such as Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) therapy. Many parents hire tutors to maintain their child’s academic skills over the summer, or to have a leg up on the upcoming school year. These tips can be used to choose a tutor for a child with any academic or social needs.

Click here to watch a video on ABA therapy.

• Ask your child’s principal to recommend someone on staff. This ensures that the person has a valid state teaching certification and classroom experience. The principal also has a good feel for his or her staff’s personalities and may recommend someone who he or she thinks is a good match for your child.
• Check the potential tutor’s credentials. Ask for a resume, even if you know he/she is a classroom teacher. You should look to see if he/she has spent a long time at one school, which signifies he/she has developed good working relationships with staff and students.
• Ask for references. Anyone who is confident in his/her skills and has had positive relationships with other families will be more than happy to have you speak with past clients.
• Set up an interview, even if you only have one candidate. You want someone who is articulate and communicates well. He or she will be helping your child with a subject that is challenging — so you want him or her to communicate effectively. There are many bright people with great credentials who have difficulty explaining their area of expertise.
• Once you’ve chosen someone, have them work in a common space in your home. Listen to how he or she works with your child. Listen to his/her tone — see if he or she gets frustrated when your child has a difficult time. Staying close-by gives you an opportunity to observe without being intrusive.

Tutors can be expensive. Check with local colleges to see if they offer free or low-cost tutoring given by students in the education program. Many education programs require students to practice the instructional strategies taught in class. This type of tutoring is beneficial because education students are typically very eager to apply these strategies correctly and gain hands-on experience. Professors may observe the tutoring sessions and give the education student feedback on how to improve their work with your child. It’s like having two tutors for the price of one!

Before your child begins working with his new tutor, ask his classroom teacher for specific topics the tutor should cover. Teachers are often grateful to have support reviewing topics at home because of the time constraints in school.

Once the tutoring has begun, check in with the tutor after each session. Ask specific questions, like “What did she have the most trouble with?” or “Is there something I can review with her during the week?” This gives the tutor an opportunity to discuss your child’s progress and feel like a part of her educational team.

Give the tutor and your child time to establish a relationship. Keep in mind, this person may be new to your child and it may take time for him to feel comfortable. By the third or fourth session, they should be settling into a routine and working well together. Also remember, this person is working on subjects that are challenging for your child. Your child may not jump for joy when it’s tutoring time, but he should sit down willingly.

Finding someone to work with your child at home may feel challenging, but using these tips will speed up the process and ensure you find a good match for your child’s needs.

Jennifer Cerbasi teaches at a public school for children on the autism spectrum in New Jersey. As a coordinator of Applied Behavioral Analysis programs in the home, she works with parents to create and implement behavioral plans for their children in an environment that fosters both academic and social growth. In addition to her work both in the classroom and at home, she is also a member of the National Association of Special Education Teachers and the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.

As cases of swine flu are reported each day, the realization that your community could be affected begins to set in. While government officials make it clear there is no need for panic, it does not hurt to err on the side of caution and consider the possible repercussions of this illness hitting home. The solutions for dealing with school-based clusters of swine flu seem simple: Close the school for proper cleaning, make sure ill students are evaluated and treated, then, re-open the school.

Approximately 400 schools in the United States have closed due to outbreaks in their districts. As every parent and educator knows, any time spent away from the classroom is time lost. In the spirit of being prepared, here are some tips for continuing your child’s education at home should schools in your community close for any length of time.

• Keep a consistent schedule for your child. Have him wake up as if it were a typical school day and structure the day with a variety of activities. Have work sessions before and after lunch. Make sure bedtime remains consistent as well. Keeping a routine will make sliding back into a normal school week much easier.
• Read every day. Your child can read aloud to you or a sibling or she can read silently. Students who are not reading independently can have books read to them by family members. Students in grades K-3 should read for 20 minutes each day, students in grades 4-8 should read for 30 minutes, and high school students should read for 30-45 minutes. Consider other opportunities for reading, such as reading the local newspaper and having a family discussion on local and national events.
• Utilize the same online worksheet generators teacher use! Finding age-appropriate worksheets is only a click away. Type the content area keywords, such as third grade fractions worksheets, into any search engine and choose worksheets from the many options that pop up. Be aware that many websites are free, but some charge a small fee. There are plenty that are available free of charge so there is no need for you to spend your money on a service that could potentially only be needed for a few days.
• For a science activity, make a chart to monitor the weather each day. Your child can watch the news or search on-line to get the local forecast. Record daily temperature, humidity, precipitation, and pollen count. Your child can print out pictures of rain, sun, and clouds and glue them to each day’s report.
• Bring gym class to your backyard. Play a game of basketball, walk around the block or have family relay races. If you’re stuck with a rainy day, pop in a workout DVD. Make exercising a family affair and you could develop a new healthy habit!

Remember to speak to your child about proper hygiene. Health experts suggest covering your nose and mouth with a tissue when you sneeze or cough, washing your hands and using alcohol-based hand sanitizers. These are all good habits to continue regardless of the type of illness spreading around.

Talk to your children about the realities of the flu. Most people, if treated timely and appropriately, recover with no complications. Setting the tone for a calm reaction to a potentially scary situation will help your child understand how the swine flu is affecting people all over the world.

Many school administrators are being proactive in sending letters home and posting information on their Web sites. Since the school nurse and principal are likely inundated with questions and concerns, take an informal poll of the parents in your child’s class and submit a list of questions from the class. Acting as a spokesperson will help continue the flow of information between state officials, schools and parents.

Whether or not swine flu affects your community, consider this an opportunity to be prepared!

Jennifer Cerbasi teaches at a public school for children on the autism spectrum in New Jersey. As a coordinator of Applied Behavioral Analysis programs in the home, she works with parents to create and implement behavioral plans for their children in an environment that fosters both academic and social growth. In addition to her work both in the classroom and at home, she is also a member of the National Association of Special Education Teachers and the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.