Four times a year, parents across America get feedback on their child’s academic performance and it’s not always good news. Report cards can produce anxiety and stress for parents who want to help their children but aren’t sure how to do so. Keep in mind that a poor report card also produces anxiety and stress in your child, although these emotions may manifest differently in your child. A child who says he doesn’t care about his grades could be upset about doing poorly or lacking in self confidence. The same goes for children who act out when confronted about poor grades. No one wants to do poorly in school, but many are unsure of how to do well.

It is important to note that a bad report card can mean different things for different children. One child may maintain a certain average, then suddenly dip below that mark. Another child may earn grades that are low across the board. Whether this is your child’s first poor report card or fifth, you can do something about it and help your child take steps toward success.

If your child comes home with a poor report card, follow these three steps to getting him back on track and on his way to a more positive learning experience.

Stay calm
You’re obviously upset but bringing those feelings to the table will undoubtedly produce anxiety in your child. Your child knows his grades are poor so you don’t need to state the obvious. Taking the emotion out of your interaction provides a neutral platform for you and your child to discuss the changes that need to be made in order to improve her grades. Avoid phrases like “I’m disappointed in you,” “You need to try harder,” or accusatory statements like “How many tests did you fail?” These statements are sure to produce anxiety or anger in your child and will inhibit her ability to communicate with you. Say “Tell me about Math class” instead. Approach your child when you have time to sit down and talk. We are all cranky when we are hungry, thirsty, or tired so keep that in mind when choosing a time to talk. Inviting your child to share a cup of tea or a snack is a comfortable arena in which to address the report card. Maintain your cool throughout the conversation, even if your child raises her voice.

Speak to the teacher
Parent-teacher conferences are typically scheduled around the time report cards are handed out. If your child’s school isn’t offering one, ask for one. Send the teacher a list of questions before the meeting so she can have answers for you at the meeting and possibly show you work samples. Approach the teacher calmly and ask for specifics about work your child may be missing, poor test scores, or areas of concern. Look at the breakdown of grades and the percentages your child earned for homework, classwork, participation, and tests. Ask for strategies that are being used in the classroom to support your child as well as strategies you can use at home. Neither the school nor the family can turn around a poor report card alone- it is a team effort. Ask to follow up with the teacher about two weeks after the initial conference to see if your child is showing improvement.

Establish your next step
Parents sometimes take the “wait and see” approach, especially since this is the first report card of the year. This approach never works, since we know that once a habit is established it is hard to break. Your next step may be following through with the teacher’s suggestions. You may also consider hiring a tutor or going to a learning center to seek extra support or new strategies for your child. Another option is to ask a neighbor, friend, or older family member to help with homework. Finding someone to tutor who has a strength where your child experiences a challenge could be a good match. Consider asking a teenage cousin or neighbor to help younger children a few days a week. Younger children often look up to older children so having a positive influence while doing homework may help motivate your child. If you do choose to have someone else work with your child, make sure you communicate specifics about your child’s strengths and challenges and strategies the teacher has already used or suggested.

It is important to remind your child that she is in control of her grades. She was not given poor grades; she earned them. Fortunately, this means she is in control of bringing her grades up again. Most teachers are clear as to what they are looking for in an essay, project, or test. Help your child outline the goals of an assignment when it is first assigned and check in with her frequently to see that she is staying on target. If extra credit is offered, sit down together to tackle the assignment.

Remember to praise your child for following through on school work, not just for earning good grades. Some children put forth good effort and still do not earn A’s. It is important to praise your child’s work ethic since this is truly a skill that will get her through life. Continued praise and positive support will help your child do her best.

Jennifer Cerbasi teaches at a public school for children on the autism spectrum in New Jersey. As a coordinator of Applied Behavioral Analysis programs in the home, she works with parents to create and implement behavioral plans for their children in an environment that fosters both academic and social growth. In addition to her work both in the classroom and at home, she is also a member of the National Association of Special Education Teachers and the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.

I recently stopped by my friend’s house to say hello and found the family, with three teenage sons, engaged in an intense conversation about choosing colleges. Knowing how happy I was with my choice of undergraduate and graduate schools, they turned to me to ask for my advice on the topic. As our conversation progressed, I thought also of the varsity level athletes I coach that are faced with the same challenge and are balancing their remaining high school years with preparation for the next step. High school students across the country are struggling with the decision that will define their professional careers and and will fondly be looked back on as the best years of their lives.

For families going through this selection process for the first time, choosing colleges to apply to can be especially overwhelming and confusing. How do we find the “right” school? Do graduates of certain schools have an advantage in the job market? What happens if she gets their and hates it? Guidance counselors can certainly help match your child’s academic goals with schools accordingly but no one knows your child as well as you do. You are the one who will be traveling all over, visiting colleges, nagging your child to get those essays finished, and paying all the application fees. These tips help you guide the conversation about colleges with your child before you head out to look as well as help you keep your perspective while engaged in the search.

Factors For Your Child to Consider

Academics
You obviously want to match your child’s academic strengths and goals with various colleges she is considering. Keep in mind that we are asking an eighteen year old to decide what she wants to do with the rest of her life. Consider a number of options when investigating academic programs. Maybe she is a great writer but also enjoys biology. Find a school that has strong programs for both, in case she changes her mind about becoming an English teacher and decides she wants to be pre-med. It happens more often than you think.

Location
Teenagers often express the desire to leave their hometown and go far away. Keep in mind that teenagers have a limited perspective on how far “far away” really is. Tell your child that even if he is just an hour from home, he is away from home. Remind him If he wants to come home for the weekend to do laundry and get a home-cooked meal, a five hour drive or a plane ride can be exhausting. It’s common for freshmen to be restricted from having a car on campus so be honest with your child about how often you can go pick him up or pay for a plane or train ticket home. Also factor in any family events or special occasions your child may miss if he attends a school far from home.

Size
Your child says “I want to go to a big school.” Teenagers often use college as an opportunity to reinvent themselves, but consider all the factors that come into play regarding the size of the school. If your child is confident, expresses herself well, and is a good problem solver, she may do well at a large school, which can be difficult to navigate. The same child may not enjoy a small school as she is looking for more opportunities to meet people, take a variety of classes, and enjoy different social activities. If your child prefers routine, enjoys a small group of friends, and finds comfort in smaller circles, she may enjoy a smaller school. Some large schools have extensive bus systems to get to and from classes. Some schools are far away from shopping and entertainment. Take time when you visit colleges to check out the layout of the school and the transportation available for students.

Weather
Moving from Florida to Wisconsin makes for a huge difference in climate. This should be an important factor for your child when choosing a college. If he is used to warm weather and enjoys warm-weather activities, he may not look forward to learning to ski. This may seem like a minimal factor in choosing the right school but think that your child will essentially be living in this town or city for the next four years. There are certain things about a school you can maneuver around but, as you know, the weather is beyond anyone’s control.

Social Climate
Some schools are known for their athletic teams, greek life, or on-campus social activities. Making sure your child’s social interests match those of the school he attends is important. Although you hope your child will spend all his time studying, he will engage in social activities while away at school. College is an important time for your child to learn time management and part of that includes engaging in enjoyable activities during his down time so he is more efficient while studying and attending class. Visit colleges while they are in session so you can get a feel for the social climate. Take the tour offered by colleges that is often run by current students or alumni. Ask that person questions about the social climate of the school.

What Parents Need to Remember

Your child is under a lot of stress
As nervous as you may be about sending your child away to school, remember that your child is faced with a huge decision. He is expected to choose a college that will shape his last school experience and prepare him for a career. All this is happening while he is taking his SAT’s, playing in the big game, and managing friendships. He has a lot on his plate and needs you to be the calming factor in his life. Approach the topic of college early and  when you have time to talk about his options and visit as many schools as possible. Read your child’s stress levels and discuss college when he has time to talk. Start the conversation in your child’s sophomore year and plan on visiting schools in his junior year of high school.

Transferring is always an option
Your child may think she’s picked the perfect school and find she was wrong. Transferring to another school is a possibility and although the credits she took the first semester may not transfer, her happiness is important in the long run. This may not be the ideal option but it is comforting to know that there is an option if Plan A doesn’t work out.

Put your dreams on hold
Although you have been dreaming about this moment since your child was born, remember that this is his life and his choice. You would love him to attend your alma matter but is it truly the right fit for him? You love going to football games at the state university but will be really be happy there? Let your child be the guide and follow his lead. Your dream should be that your child is happy and confident in his choice of college, not that you can brag to your friends about the schools he got accepted into. Your child is about to embark on the most exciting adventure of his life and he is going to look to you for support from the moment he fills out the admission forms until he gets his diploma.  If he is happy, comfortable, and productive he’s made the right choice.

These tips can help you narrow down your options before you go out and visit schools, which ultimately, is the best way to choose the right school. When you go to visit each school, encourage your child to stand quietly on campus for a few minutes and look around. Watch his body language. Talk about his comfort level at each school. Listening to that little voice in your head telling you what feels right is the best tool you can teach your child as he looks for a college. Hopefully he will take that tool with him as he ventures out and starts to make his own decisions.

Jennifer Cerbasi teaches at a public school for children on the autism spectrum in New Jersey. As a coordinator of Applied Behavioral Analysis programs in the home, she works with parents to create and implement behavioral plans for their children in an environment that fosters both academic and social growth. In addition to her work both in the classroom and at home, she is also a member of the National Association of Special Education Teachers and the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.

Being a single parent presents the same challenges all parents face but you have two less hands to help. When you are raising a family by yourself you are the one getting lunches ready, giving baths, and driving to and from football practice. You can’t use the good cop/bad cop routine. You don’t ever get a break.  Many single parents work long hours or even work two jobs. You are faced with the financial and time constraints of a two-parent household with one income. Luckily, there are a few simple changes you can make that will help you support your child without adding stress to your already busy life.

Create a “home base”
For your “home base” you will need a calendar, a basket for incoming schoolwork, a spot for backpacks, and space to write. Your home base can be a corner of your kitchen, a side table in your living room, or an office. Announce this spot to your children as the hub of your home and remind them to use it as such. Use a different color pencil for each child’s activities to keep your children’s schedules straight. Encourage your children to keep track of their own activities. Designate a basket where your children can put notices that you need to see and forms you need to sign. Keeping all the forms in one place ensures you don’t miss important information. Keep pencils and pens next to the basket so you can fill out forms immediately and put them right back into your child’s backpack. Your time is valuable, and having a home base keeps you from wasting time searching all over the house for forms, notices, and assignments that need to get sent to school.

Ask for help…and return the favor
Don’t be afraid to ask a neighbor or friend for help. Most moms know that no matter what the circumstance, being a parent requires lots of juggling. Asking a neighbor to drive your child to school in the morning is fine, but be sure to return the favor and drive the kids to the school dance over the weekend. Remember- a simple thank you goes a long way. A bouquet of flowers, a gift card for a coffee shop, or a batch of cookies are inexpensive ways to show you appreciate the support you get and it has not gone unnoticed. A handwritten note to say thanks for the help does the trick, too.

Communicate with the teacher
Let her know what days or times are best for you to meet or to speak on the phone. Give her a time frame in which you intend to return her calls or notes. If you know you work late and don’t always get to her notes right away, let her know she can expect to hear from you within 48 hours. If you have a day off during the week, ask for her consideration when scheduling meetings. Being clear about communication with your child’s school leads to consistent and open interactions.

Prioritize
You can’t be in three places at once so choose the meetings, school events, and games that mean the most to you and your children. Include your children in the process by letting them choose an event they want you to attend. Be honest with your children about why you can’t be at all their events but don’t dwell on it. Refrain from constantly reminding them that you are the only parent helping out- they know this and you should vent to your friends, not your children. When they get home ask specific questions about what happened in the big game or the school play. If you want to volunteer at your child’s school but can’t be there all the time, ask if you can help stuff envelopes or make phone calls and do some of the behind-the-scenes work for events.

Remember that you are one person taking on a huge job and can only do your best each day. Pat yourself on the back for maintaining your children’s safety and security.  Give yourself credit for taking care of all the day-to-day responsibilities by yourself. Enjoy the time you get to spend with your children and stay positive- your children will model your attitude and you can be a happy and productive family together.

Jennifer Cerbasi teaches at a public school for children on the autism spectrum in New Jersey. As a coordinator of Applied Behavioral Analysis programs in the home, she works with parents to create and implement behavioral plans for their children in an environment that fosters both academic and social growth. In addition to her work both in the classroom and at home, she is also a member of the National Association of Special Education Teachers and the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development.

Having the occasional late-night snack won’t pack on the pounds, but according to many studies, if nighttime noshing becomes a habit, it might. Yet, when the clock strikes twelve and you’re still wide awake, it’s often unfeasible to resist raiding your kitchen from top to bottom. Although a box of donuts or a pint of ice cream might seem like your only hope to get you through the night, don’t succumb!

Foods high in sugar can prevent you from getting a good night’s sleep because they can wreak havoc on your blood sugar levels and your waistline. Foods which release serotonin in the brain through an amino acid known as tryptophan are associated with a calming, anxiety-reducing effect and even drowsiness, helping you to fall asleep.  Simply put, serotonin helps to alleviate stress, sending you off to a peaceful night’s sleep. Replacing those sugar-laden snacks with healthy alternatives will allow you to drift off to dream land guilt free.

The Fix:
Whole grains are a low-fat way to trigger some insulin production which will induce sleep without weight gain. Dairy products and lean protein contain the magic tryptophan, an amino acid that also helps the brain produce serotonin and melatonin.

The Food:
2 whole-grain crackers with low-fat cheese
½ whole-wheat pita with 2 slices of lean turkey breast
1 packet instant oatmeal or ½ cup high-fiber cereal with ½ cup warm skim milk

The Fix:
These nutty snacks are full of magnesium and B vitamins, both of which help promote serotonin — the relaxing neurotransmitter. Natural sugars in apricots boost blood-glucose levels, which sag while you sleep. The most “serotonized” fruit is the banana. Bananas are high in vitamin B6, melatonin and serotonin which help us feel drowsy.

The Food:
1 oz of pistachios and 8 dried apricots
1 oz almonds and an apple
½ Banana with 1 tablespoon of peanut butter

*Chamomile Tea: Okay, so this isn’t a snack. Chamomile has a mild sedative effect and is well known among the sleeping problems crowd. The oatmeal cookie triggers insulin but has some other good side effects.

Tanya Zuckerbrot, MS, RD is a nutritionist and founder of Skinnyandthecity.com.    She is also the creator of The F-Factor Diet™, an innovative nutritional program she has used for more than ten years to provide hundreds of her clients with all the tools they need to achieve easy weight loss and maintenance, improved health and well-being.  For more information log onto www.FFactorDiet.com.

Dear Yvonne,
I am a 50-year-old-man who has lost all interest in — and avoided — sex with my partner since she has gained weight. Watching her gobble a double pie a la mode for a nighttime snack was like an anti-Viagra for me. When I met her 3 years ago, she was perhaps 30 pounds thinner. I noticed an older photo of her and she appeared to be perhaps 50 pounds heavier. Do women lose weight to meet a man and seek commitment as if crossing a finish line to find the food again?
—JK 

Dear JK,
Both men and women often seek to be physically fit in order to attract a potential partner. Many do “let themselves go” once they have the commitment since they feel that the woo’ing phase of the relationship no longer requires work. However, it’s hard to say, if your partner intentionally lost weight to “nab” you, and then didn’t have a care in the world when she put the weight back on.

The reasons why people put on weight are very complicated and numerous. Factors that lead to weight gain include:

          o Diets high in calories (sodas), saturated fat (fried foods), and/or sugar (candy)
          o A lack of exercise
          o Not getting enough sleep
          o Stress
          o Health problems, for example, hypothyroidism
          o Medications
          o Menopause

In order to reclaim your sex life, try to spend quality time with your lover in ways that keep both of you active and eating healthy meals. Instead of being critical, try to be compassionate by expressing concern for her health, and offer to be of assistance in any way possible. Feeling sorry for yourself won’t do you or her any good.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

Barack Obama has just become the President of the United States, which is a 24 hour job, 7 days a week, for the next 1,460 days.  One may say becoming president is quite a stressful job.  Stress compromises our immune system which can ultimately result in cardiovascular disorders, diabetes and hypertension. Stress also increases heart rate and blood pressure, just to name a few. Also, stress can alter your blood sugar levels, leading to mood swings, fatigue and hypoglycemia. To avoid these risks, one essential ingredient Obama must fill up on is fiber. According to the American Dietetic Association the average American should be receiving 20-35 grams of fiber daily, but are currently only receiving between 9-11 grams.  Many studies have shown that increasing your fiber intake will reduce the risk for cardiovascular disease, diabetes, cancer and hypertension. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is essential for President Obama.

Here are some tips to provide Obama the strength and ability to lead our country:

Fill up on fiber and protein.
Make sure every meal is a combination of fiber and protein.  Fiber and protein are the two nutrients that take the longest to digest.  It is this perfect combination of foods that keeps your serum glucose levels consistent, leading to improved energy throughout the day.  In addition, since fiber has 0 calories per gram, and protein has 4 calories per gram, you are guaranteed the least caloric intake with the most food intake.  Eating small, frequent meals helps to stabilize blood sugar and keep energy levels consistent.  In addition, it helps to prevent you from becoming ravenous at night which leads to poor food choices and less portion control, which eventually leads to overeating. Lean protein like grilled fish, which is often a choice for Obama, helps to fill you up on few calories without filling your glycogen stores. Instead of legs and thighs, try buying chicken breasts, which will save you countless calories and unsaturated fat. Switch from chop meat to lean, ground turkey. Choose lean cuts of meat like sirloin and filet and steer clear of marbelized fat meats.

Eat more fruits and veggies.
While reports have said that Barak Obama enjoys high fiber veggies like broccoli and spinach, by simply adding more produce to his diet, he will find that he’ll begin eating less and thereby maintain a healthy weight without making any additional dietary changes. Filling up on fiber-rich vegetables and fruit adds bulk and satiety to any diet without excess calories. Plus, you’ll get the extra health benefits of crucial vitamins and minerals.  Some other fiber rich choices include cauliflower, artichokes, heart of palm, apples, berries and pears.

Don’t skip breakfast.
Although being President barely leaves one time to breath, Obama must take a minute to eat breakfast. Recent research shows that eating breakfast can actually help you shed pounds by jump starting your metabolism for the day. A breakfast consisting of fiber and protein is the ultimate combination because these nutrients will fill you up on the fewest calories. Switching from white bread to whole wheat as well as from white rice and pasta to brown rice and whole wheat pasta, will not only save you calories, but provide you with fiber and essential nutrients.  Some delicious and satisfying breakfast options include a high-fiber cereal (5 grams or more) with skim milk and berries or an egg white omlette with veggies and a slice of whole wheat toast.

Eat 3 meals daily. 
Although this may be difficult for someone who has to run a country, eating at least 3 meals and a snack daily is a must. Eating throughout the day helps to keep your blood sugar from dropping too low, therefore avoiding the symptoms of hypoglycemia which tend to lead to overeating. Having lunch mid-day is a great way to incorporate more fiber into your diet, as well as keep you feeling fuller, longer and prevent you from overeating at late-night meetings. Your best bet for dinner is to start with a broth-based vegetable soup and a small salad with the dressing on the side.  This combination helps to provide you with both protein and fiber, and fills you up while adding a minimal amount of calories. You’ll find that you will fill up quicker, and hold off temptations for seconds.

Enjoy snacks.
Since it’s wise to eat something small at least every 3 hours, having a snack isn’t an indulgence — it’s an important part of your diet. Eating small snacks can help prevent you from becoming ravenous throughout the day and into the night. Carb-only snacks raise your blood sugar quickly then cause it to drop below normal. When that happens, you tend to eat anything you can get your hands on. However, what you choose as a snack can make a big difference on your energy and your mood. And often what most people choose is too high in calories and fat and leaves you hungry soon after. Snacks should be between 100-200 calories, which is just enough to satisfy you without sabotaging your health. They should also be a combination of fiber and protein, since fiber and protein are the two nutrients that take the longest to digest and keep you full and satisfied on fewer calories. Sample snacks include, 1oz. of pistachios with 8 dried apricots, Gnu Flavor and Fiber Bar, or a pear with 2 tablespoons of peanut butter.

Don’t drink your calories.
Research shows that our bodies do not register calories from fluids.  Meaning that the amount of calories that your drink contains has absolutely no effect on your satiety level meaning your drink will not fill you up. Stick with calorie free beverages like unsweetened iced tea, water and Crystal Light flavor packets.
In addition, reports say Obama has a few favorite drinks and foods that he often can be found sipping or munching. These are all a great addition to any healthy diet. Some of these include:

Fiji Water: Water is important for all bodily functions, and staying hydrated helps fight fatigue while helping you stay in shape by avoiding any excess calories or carbohydrates. Obama can often be found sipping Fiji water. Fiji water is a smart choice because it contains naturally- occurring electrolytes for optimal hydration, unlike purified water which adds them.

Cuties: One of Obama’s favorite snacks is Cuties. These are small, simple, super sweet and seedless, making this a perfect snack for Obama to have while jetting on Air Force One or simply hanging with his girls in the Oval Office.  Cuties are the newest addition to the orange family. Two of these cute little mandarins contain 4 grams of fiber, 400 milligrams of potassium and 300 percent of the daily value of vitamin C.

Pistachios: While consuming all types of nuts can lead to an excess of calories, with pistachios you get more bang for your buck.  A 1 oz. serving of pistachio nuts is equivalent to 160 calories and 49 nuts.  This is compared to 23 almonds or 18 cashews for the same amount of calories. Not only are pistachios a great source of both fiber and protein, but they also contain antioxidants and vitamin B6, which studies have shown to be a stress fighter. Although nuts do contain healthy fats which are believed to lower cholesterol, eating straight from the bowl can easily lead you to munch through 1000 calories. In a recent study done at Eastern Illinois University, researchers confirmed that people are more influenced by perception then hunger. When a group of people were given the same amount of pistachios, shelled and unshelled, they ate 45 percent less nuts when they had to open them. This small study shows that by making small changes such as choosing in-shelled pistachios, which slow down consumption time, one can curb calorie intake dramatically. Pistachios also contain the highest amount of fiber compared to most other nuts, as well as heart healthy monounsaturated fats, which have been shown to lower cholesterol.

Spinach: This is a great way to combat stress. It is rich in beta carotene, which helps boost the immune system. The body converts beta carotene into vitamin A, which itself has anti-cancer properties and immune-boosting functions. Spinach also contains iron and folate which can help reduce the risk for heart disease.

Broccoli:  Another one of Obama’s favorite vegetables is broccoli. Nutrition experts at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine say having a daily dose of vitamin C can help alleviate stress because it is a prevailing antioxidant used to keep the body healthy.  So continue filling up on broccoli and other high-fiber vegetables.

Protein Bars: Thank goodness for protein bars! These convenient, pre-packed, pre-portioned meals that are simple, mess-free and portable, are the perfect snack for the President of the United States of America! With so many different brands on the supermarket shelves, grabbing one while on the run is a simple way to satisfy your hunger… NOT SO FAST!!! Many of these “energy bars” although marketed as “healthy” are simply glorified candy bars. Gnu flavor and fiber bars are one of your best options. Gnu bars have less than 150 calories and 3 grams of fat, but contain 12 grams of fiber — nearly half of the daily recommendation. These high-fiber, low-fat bars are a savior when you’re in a car, at the office or the gym. Choose from any of their 5 tasty flavors including cinnamon raisin, chocolate brownie, peanut butter, banana walnut, and orange cranberry.

Tanya Zuckerbrot, MS, RD is a nutritionist and founder of Skinnyandthecity.com.    She is also the creator of The F-Factor Diet™, an innovative nutritional program she has used for more than ten years to provide hundreds of her clients with all the tools they need to achieve easy weight loss and maintenance, improved health and well-being.  For more information log onto www.FFactorDiet.com.

Dear Yvonne,
Sometimes my girlfriend will laugh during sex, which weirds me out. Is it because I’m doing something wrong?
— Tad

Dear Tad,
Sex is a fun activity (and if it isn’t a good time, at least most of the time, you seriously need to question the relationship and what you’re doing). Inuit Eskimos refer to sex as “laughing time.” So is it any wonder that lovers aren’t always serious in the sack?

Sex involves feeling good, expressing yourself, and sharing amazing, positive moments with somebody you care about. Laughing can be a great compliment because it indicates your lover is letting go of stress and getting into the moment. While many people worry that their lover is laughing at them, it is more likely that such an expression is due to tickle sensations, disbelief at what is being experienced or simply joy.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

The holiday season is a stressful time of year, and this year many families are feeling the crunch, making it even harder for those who are limited in their resources for giving gifts to their loved ones. In an attempt to help ease the stress, many writers and bloggers have published articles aimed at helping people by giving them suggestions on everything from books to make-it-yourself holiday baskets.

Yes, I know that gifts are optional. But let’s be real, it doesn’t matter who you are, Christmas means presents — especially for kids. Now most families will try to make sure that they have something for their little ones, but parents will also feel the guilt of not being able to give something to each other.

Now, I thought about this scenario for a while and then told my wife I did not want any presents. Not because of the money, but because I am so sad about some of the current problems we are all facing.

I sat there and reflected on the sad state of affairs this holiday season, when just like in the movie, Moonstruck, she hit me on the side of my head and said, “Snap out of it!”

So then I began to think about the perfect gift for me this Christmas. And that’s when it came to me…the perfect gift for me would be something that would bring me joy, make me feel young, and last for a long, long time. Now I know what you’re thinking — but that’s not exactly what I had in mind. My perfect gift this year would be to reconnect with a long lost friend.

I told my wife that if she wanted to give me a great gift this year, it would be to find my best friend from high school. Now this guy was my buddy, who for all four years was always at my side, and with whom many of my fondest high school memories were shared. But somehow college, medical school, residencies and life in general had separated Joe and me for almost 30 years. Let’s face it — I had forgotten about Joe. But this Christmas season, while thinking about my perfect gift, I remembered him.

Three days later, my wife called me up and said, “I found him and it only cost me $9.95.” She had gone on the Internet and tracked him down through one of the many Web sites, that for a small fee, offer a lifetime of priceless memories. So she got his number and left a message, and for the next few hours, all of my kids waited around with me to see when Joe would call.

Later that evening, Joe called me back and for those 15 minutes of conversation with my old friend, I felt like I was in high school again.

Memories are good, but when you can make those memories a reality, they make you feel the way all holidays should make us feel: Great.

Watching the worried pundits on the FOX Business Channel for the past few weeks, I’ve been wondering, medically speaking, what the solution is going to be for all the stress that is sure to result from our flailing economy. It has been well documented that stress, including the financial kind, can lead to heart attacks, strokes, depression, suicide, and certain kinds of cancer.     

But as often is the case with health, a complex problem may lead to a simple solution. Coincidentally, in the middle of all our worry, a new study was published that shows the positive effects of touch.

*  A new study from Utah researchers published in Psychosomatic Medicine shows that warm touch decreases stress hormones and lowers blood pressure. The study looked at married couples ages 20 to 39 in their own environment and found that massage, touch, hugging, kissing, had these effects and also increased the calming hormone oxytocin. A key positive feature of this study was the non-laboratory setting. Criticism of previous studies on stress and touch have included concerns about the artificial environment of the laboratory.

*  According to the American Hospital Association 37 percent of hospitals in the U.S. use complementary and alternative treatments including touch therapy. This policy is growing, and may help improve disease outcomes.

*  Previous studies from Miami (Touch Research Institute) show that massage and relaxation therapies enhance mood and immune function for women with breast cancer. The institute has also published data revealing faster growth in premature babies, a better tolerance of pain, lower glucose level in diabetic children who were frequently touched.

*  Another interesting study from Virginia showed a decrease in fear, danger, and threat responses in the centers of the brain when women touched the hands of their husbands while experiencing pain.

* Petting dogs has been shown to be calming, to lower stress, and to have a positive impact on immune function and the fight against disease.

I am advocating touch as a treatment for stress, but there is a downside. Of course touch increases the risk of spreading many bacteria and viruses. And with cold and flu season right around the corner, I am compelled to add that while you are hugging and stroking to compensate for your worry, make sure to wash your hands afterward.

Dr. Marc Siegel is an internist and associate professor of medicine at the NYU School of Medicine. He is a FOX News Medical Contributor and writes a health column for LA Times, where he examines TV and movies for medical accuracy. Dr. Siegel is the author of “False Alarm: the Truth About the Epidemic of Fear” and “Bird Flu: Everything You Need to Know About the Next Pandemic”. Read more at www.doctorsiegel.com

Tales of traders throwing themselves out of windows on Wall Street in the wake of 1929 were essentially myths, as John Kenneth Galbraith noted in his 1955 account of the crash.

Nevertheless, current economic woes are clearly impacting on our country’s mental and physical health. Stress is a well documented cause of depression, suicide, heart disease, stroke, predisposition to infection, and certain kinds of cancer.

Stress is often subliminal, it may overtake you before you realize it.  The last thing a person in financial trouble needs is to be simultaneously dealing with illness, yet stress-induced illness is common.
 
SOME WORRISOME EXAMPLES OF THE EFFECTS OF FINANCIAL TROUBLES:

* In New York, calls to the Hopeline network for people with depression or suicidal thoughts leaped 75 percent to 10,368 in the 11 months ending in July 2008.

* In Chicago, ComPsych Corp., the world’s largest provider of employee assistance programs, logged 21 percent more calls seeking help for stress from financial pressures in July than they received a year earlier.

* Hospital admissions for psychiatric services are up 10 percent this year over last year in claims submitted to UnitedHealth Group Inc., the largest U.S. health insurer.

* ValueOptions Inc., the fourth-largest U.S. provider of behavioral health and wellness services, reported that calls for assistance with home foreclosures, bankruptcy and other financial hardships have grown 89 percent this year over 2007.

* Research based on 17 years of Pennsylvania unemployment records concluded that employees affected by a mass layoff at a plant were 15 percent more likely to die of any cause over the next two decades.

* Harvey Brenner, professor emeritus at Johns Hopkins’s Bloomberg School of Public Health, projects that rising unemployment could cause as many as 47,000 more deaths than would have otherwise occurred, including 1,200 more suicides, as well as nearly 26,000 more heart attacks.

WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT:

* Seek emotional support, from loved ones and if needed, professionals.

* Try to continue to focus on business as usual, and to avoid obsessive negative thoughts.

* Emphasize regular exercise, try relaxation techniques such as yoga or meditation, eat regular meals, and as much as possible, observe regular sleep habits.

* Consult with your physician if your fear over your financial future is spiraling out of control. Anti-anxiety medication may be necessary to break the cycle of worry.

Dr. Marc Siegel is an internist and associate professor of medicine at the NYU School of Medicine. He is a FOX News Medical Contributor and writes a health column for LA Times, where he examines TV and movies for medical accuracy. Dr. Siegel is the author of “False Alarm: the Truth About the Epidemic of Fear” and “Bird Flu: Everything You Need to Know About the Next Pandemic”. Read more at www.doctorsiegel.com