Dear Yvonne,

I’m conflicted because I agree to have sex with my husband even when I’m not in the mood. Part of me wants to please him by having sex, but the other part of me resents him for the guilt I feel in not staying true to myself. Other girlfriends of mine say they’re the same way. Why are women like that?

-Cora

Dear Cora,

As women, we’re socialized to take care of men and their needs.  It’s only natural, then, that we become intimate, even when we’re not in the mood. For the sexually liberated female, whose sexual being will be sold out to no one, the result is guilt. In making sure this doesn’t happen again, a woman needs to figure out why she ultimately put out. Is it that she wanted to please her partner (not a bad thing)? Is it because she felt obligated to – that it was her duty as his partner? Is she afraid he’ll take his interests elsewhere if she’s unwilling to have sex? Does she have trouble saying “no?” Is she fearful of the negative stereotype associated with women who aren’t in the mood for sex?

In identifying what led to her having sex, a woman needs to rehearse how she will handle the situation next time he approaches her. The key is not to make him feel that he is being rejected or that she isn’t attracted to him, rather giving him a reason why, for example, “Honey, you’re looking totally sexy now, but my body is pooped. I really just want to relax.”  Or she can offer an alternative, “I had such a stressful day at work. Would you mind giving me a massage instead?” Regardless of the reason or how she chooses to deal with the situation, a woman should feel empowered knowing that it’s okay not to have sex. It is her choice and it’s actually quite sexy for her to call the shots. It will also make him want it that much more the next time she’s in the mood.

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

First, I have a confession: I used to never care about what I ate. Not only that, I also loved take-out foods—mostly because of my crazy work schedule. And oh, I wasn’t the most athletic guy. In fact, I didn’t start exercising until I was in my thirties, when suddenly I realized that I had to do something to keep my body healthy.

Does this sound familiar? Honestly, it seems like we’ve all got some pounds we could shed—and we’re in big company (yes, pun intended). But seriously, this is no joking matter: the statistics about obesity in this country are far from funny. Can you believe that by 2010, three-quarters of the U.S. population will be overweight? And if that didn’t shock you, check this out: statistics show that 80% of our kids are suffering from weight-related afflictions, like arthritis? The consequences of extra weight are devastating. So here’s my question: how did we get here?

FAST FOOD: Just walk through a supermarket or down Main Street will explain part of the weight gain: our diets. Fast-food meals are usually brimming with artery-clogging, heart-attack-causing amounts of calories, fat, and sodium. And while most fast-food chains have added healthy or light items to their menus over the past couple of years, you need to check out the whole package and ask yourself these questions: Is it fresh? Does the dressing have a ton of sugar and chemicals in it? Am I really getting the nutrition I need? The answers are probably no, yes, and no.

MONEY: The other excuse I often hear for falling into poor eating habits is the one that includes the bottom line: money. Wee, my friend, I’d be the first to tell you that eating healthy ain’t always cheap. I don’t have to tell you that budgets are much tighter than waistlines: trying to justify buying healthier choices, versus what your pocketbook allows, can be real tough.

TIME: In addition to money, the other commodity many of us are short on is time. I know how it is: you’ve got a big 20 minutes (or less!) for lunch. Sure, you try to make your lunch from time to time. But it’s not easy—and there’s a place on the corner that offers you a super quick and cheap lunch.

STRESS: The fact of the matter is that because people are so busy running around like maniacs, they’re not eating as they should. Especially moms! Having one or more kids to care for, getting them off to school in the morning, getting involved in their after-school activities and sports, not to mention their own work, and being part of the sandwich generation (caring for elderly parents as well) all adds up to crazy schedules, unhealthy eating, and in many cases a seeking of foods that immediately satisfy (chips, brownies, candy, cookies, soda, ice cream) but don’t promise benefits in return.

LACK OF EXERCISE OR PHYSICAL ACTIVITY: It’s a logical equation really. Ask anyone who’s not sleeping what they want to do and I guarantee that working out is going to be at the bottom of the list. The thing about exercise is that it needs to be done, but it has to be something that fits your schedule. If you can swing getting up early to go to yoga or take a jog before work, do it! If a lunch hour workout is what you can fit in, then you should! (Just don’t skip lunch!) This doesn’t mean that it will be easy, but it will help and you will see and feel the results physically and mentally—almost immediately.

HORMONES: Ask any woman and you’ll hear the same thing: appetites grow and fade depending on the time of month. Most women I know feel incredibly peckish that week before their period, and snacking often leads to the avalanche effect…

SNACKING—THE WRONG WAY: Most of us parents know that we’ve got to have the snacks on hand, right? Any trip, whether it’s a walk to the park or a drive to the supermarket, requires keeping a few treats nearby—for the kids, that is. Here’s the problem: we grown-ups like to snack, too!

LACK OF SLEEP: Sleep deprivation can also affect appetites—not to mention everything else. It’s true; the less we sleep, the weaker we are in terms of being able to fend off not only increased emotional sensitivity, but crazy cravings for comfort foods. Also, did you know that sleep patterns can be disturbed by many things that you consume—including food additives and caffeine?

The Food and Drug Administration has approved a form of spray-on estrogen called Evamist, which treats moderate to severe menopausal symptoms, it is being reported in Obstetrics & Gynecology.

Evamist contains estrodial in ethanol and is formulated to be released over a 24-hour period, according to the report. The formula is applied on the inside of the female’s forearm and dries clear in one minute.

Experts say it cannot be washed off and it won’t transfer to other people. (continue)

Some women will want to string me up for this one. I’m about to divulge some of the real reasons a gal will say “no” to sex, even if she’s totally in the mood.

There are plenty of them. (Continue)

Australian researchers say the same gene that puts women at a high risk for breast cancer also may give men a heightened risk for prostate cancer.

Men from families where the women have high rates of breast cancer are about four times more likely to develop prostate cancer, according to research funded by Australia’s National Breast Cancer Foundation and conducted by kConFab, an Australian and New Zealand consortium for research into familial breast cancer.

Artificial human sperm could come to the aid of infertile men, according to a team of scientists who have used lab-grown sperm to inseminate female mice.

Artificial sperm could also make males totally redundant, permitting women to give birth without a biological male mate.

What is your opinion?